Goddamn Bobby Jindal

This is from newly-announced presidential candidate Bobby Jindal's campaign website about how much being Hindu sucked cow balls: "Throughout high school, Bobby wrestled with the Lord and the work that He was doing in his life. He dug out his Bible and read it cover to cover. In high school, while watching a grainy film about the Crucifixion of Jesus, Bobby surrendered his life to Christ and has never looked back."

There's pandering and then there's groveling like a scabby-kneed whore begging to get fucked in the ass for a couple of bucks and a hit of meth. Even Jesus rolled his eyes after reading that.

By the way, that's from a section titled "Seven Things You Didn't Know About Bobby." Apparently, we didn't know that "two things are consistent in keeping the governor going: daily exercise… and daily chocolate chip cookies. Bobby starts each morning with a hard workout, and recovers with a recovery meal of chocolate, carbs and sugar. Bobby is a scientific anomaly; and scientists should probably study him."

So you're a medical freak who turned your back on your non-white racial heritage, eh, Piyush, except when it's convenient? Well, that pretty much makes you a top-tier Republican candidate for vice-president.

By the way, if you haven't checked it out, watch Jindal's creepy-ass announcement that looks like he and his wife are telling the kids about their impending divorce ("Daddy's gonna spend a lot of time away from home in Iowa. Maybe you'll get to go with Daddy").