How Not to Be a Conservative Asshole About Caitlyn Jenner (Featuring Advice from a Conservative)

When the former Bruce Jenner made her debut as Caitlyn Jenner with the release of the Vanity Fair cover photo and story, the reaction from the right was mostly as predictable as the yappy little dog barking next door at 7 a.m. (shut the fuck up, Piddles!) and about as meaningful. The Twitter responses ranged from "I'm gonna try to be funny about my assholery" to "I'm a total cockknob and don't care who knows."

More in-depth fuckery is easy to find. Here's Matt Walsh in The Blaze (motto: "If Glenn Beck doesn't have an outlet, he will go on a seven-state killing spree"): "What [Jenner] most closely resembles is a mentally disordered man who is being manipulated by disingenuous liberals and self-obsessed gay activists. Far from having the appearance of a genuine woman, he reminds me of someone who is being abandoned to his delusions by a culture of narcissistic imbeciles...This is a bastardization of our humanity on a scale and to a degree that wouldn’t have even crossed the tortured minds of last century’s most prophetic social critics." There is a lot of vagina sand in those ellipses, as well as more overwriting than Harlan Ellison on a meth bender.

Of course, one aspect of Jenner's life that interested some on the right is that, pre-transition, Bruce Jenner had proclaimed he was a Republican. Would Caitlyn also be GOP, as if somehow becoming a woman would make her change her political beliefs (which, quite frankly, is not a crazy assumption)? On Fox "news," two-fifths of The Five proclaimed that it was more brave for Jenner to say she's Republican than to make a gender change.

And this is where a lonely conservative blogger on right-wing urinal Hot Air comes in. This morning, Amanda Munoz posted on how great Caitlyn Jenner would be for the Republican Party, and, whether or not you agree with her politics, it is a primo example on how conservatives should not be assholes about Jenner.

Munoz welcomed Jenner: "It was refreshing to see the way in which she was overwhelmingly welcomed into this world." She continued, "With the momentum from this announcement and affiliation, Caitlyn inadvertently gave the Republican Party something it desperately needs more of – 'street cred,' simply put, an understanding sense of humanity. The party overall was to warm up to these 'differences' and use them as a broader tool to crush problems (not people) that really matter – like insurmountable national and student debt, ever-increasing national security threats and domestic encroachments on Constitutional liberties – Democrats would stand no chance."

That's kind of amazing. And Hot Air, despite its insanity, is no fringe website. Obviously, the comment section is filled with love and support. No, please, it's just an unending stream of anger, transphobia, crank psychology, and stupidity.

Munoz even made it onto Shakey the Deaf Clown's Masturbatorium of Hate, where Shakey the Deaf Clown jiggled his jangly jowls about how ludicrous Munoz was and offered some nutzoid psychoanalysis of his own: "We should not be celebrating this, we should not be lionizing this, we should not be encouraging this. These people have a very serious problem, and they need treatment. They need help, not encouragement." Also, according to Shakey, trans is the new gay, since the gays have won their battles. Or some shit like that.

As for Caitlyn Jenner, she is a marketing genius, frankly. Not only did she put out a picture that probably confused the hell out of many a libido yesterday (although it shouldn't have), but she has a reality show where she gets to own her exploitation. In that way, as a good capitalist, Caitlyn Jenner, like her previous gender incarnation, represents what America is at this moment.