Obama to the NRA: Suck on This Executive Power:
For those of us who think few things are more fun than watching conservatives lose their shit over something, yesterday was like Christmas, New Year's, and St. Blowjob's Day all rolled into one. For when President Barack Obama took to the podium and announced the truly reasonable, eminently sane, un-radical changes to our gun laws and gun culture that he was going to propose to Congress and take through executive action, the right wing lost enough shit to fertilize all the rice paddies in China.

Truly, it was a parade of madness and garment-rending so appalling that you pretty much saw who shouldn't be allowed to pass any kind of mental health background check. The Rude Pundit's favorites? The not-at-all gay Matt Drudge posting a photo of a rain-soaked window looking at the Washington Monument and wistfully tweeting, "Cold rain in DC, tears from Founders above. 'America' has run its course. Bill of Rights evolving and dissolving..." One could also look at that photo and say that Matt Drudge craves wet, erect cock, but that would be too obvious.

You had your weepy "But what about the aborted babeeeeeez" responses, like Laura Ingrahamaham. You had all the "But he used the children as props" bullshit, referring to the kids who wrote letters to Obama about gun violence who he had on stage with him. Michelle Malkin crapped out an entire "column" about it. Because conservatives would never do something like that.

But for a pure blast of hatred and evil, you had to go to the main man, the source of all things vile and Neanderthal. Here's Rush Limbaugh trying to use logic to defend that ludicrous NRA ad saying that the President's kids get armed guards, so why not your precious snowflake?: "So here we have this authoritarian president and his acolytes in the media who now want us to think that he is deserving of special treatment. His kids are more important than your kids are. And when you think that your kids should have the same kind of protection his do -- or at least the same type of armed protection -- you somehow are being unreasonable." Does it need to be said, truly, that having armed protection for Sasha and Malia is not saying they're more important than other children? That we provide the President's kids with Secret Service protection because those kids are under more threats than anyone else's? That most other kids don't have to worry about terrorists wanting to kidnap them? Or is that just too much of a fucking leap?

Seriously, sometimes the Rude Pundit wants to shove his dick so far down Rush Limbaugh's throat that he's ass fucking the fat bastard from the inside. Rhetorically, of course. Of course.

And what does Obama want? Well, he'd like Congress to pass an assault weapons and large magazine ban. He'd like to expand background checks to include the 40% or more of gun purchases that aren't subject to them. Oh, and expand mental health benefits, get rid of armor piercing bullets, and fund the legal system so it can do its job on gun crimes. That's up to the NRA-owned shits in both parties to pass, which means most of it probably won't, at least until 2015.

As for the 23 executive actions, they can pretty much be summed up as some stuff about mental health, some stuff about law enforcement, some stuff about schools, and a couple of things that say to the NRA, "I'm not afraid of you anymore," including directing the CDC to study gun violence and saying that doctors can ask about guns in the home. That last one also has caused fits of shit on the right. Your doctor can ask you if you smoke or drink, both legal activities, but they think guns should be off the table, commie.

The great thing about Obama's announcement yesterday was that he pretty much called the opposition a bunch of craven assholes and cowards: "There will be pundits and politicians and special interest lobbyists publicly warning of a tyrannical, all-out assault on liberty -- not because that’s true, but because they want to gin up fear or higher ratings or revenue for themselves. And behind the scenes, they’ll do everything they can to block any common-sense reform and make sure nothing changes whatsoever." Generally, the word "motherfuckers" is more concise, but not as descriptive. Then he went right for the NRA's pocketbook: "The only way we will be able to change is if their audience, their constituents, their membership says this time must be different -- that this time, we must do something to protect our communities and our kids." Do you have a conscience, he asked, or are you owned by the NRA as much as the lowest worm politician?

Like Rep. Tim Huelskamp of Kansas, who responded in the most dickish way possible, "The Second Amendment is non-negotiable. The right to bear arms is a right, despite President Obama’s disdain for the Second Amendment and the Constitution’s limits on his power. Congress must stand firm for the entirety of the Constitution – even if, but particularly so, when President Obama seeks to ignore his obligation to ‘preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution of the United States.’ Taking away the rights and abilities of law-abiding citizens to defend themselves is yet another display of the Obama Administration’s consolidation of power."

That any of what Obama proposed would be considered controversial bespeaks an American savagery that this country seems all too ready to accept. He didn't call for gun registration. He didn't call for banning any handguns. He didn't call for licensing rules. None of that. If he "went big," as some in the media said, it was only because there was nothing bigger to compare it to.

There's one other thing Obama did yesterday that is encouraging. He didn't take the attitude of "I got this." He called on the nation that reelected him to stand with him and to get active. If we do, if we do get behind him and get even these minimal new laws passed, it bodes well for the rest of his term, for Obama, for us. Let's hope this moment doesn't get by us without us being part of it.