Memo to Sarah Palin: A President (or Governor) Is Not a CEO:
Could someone please hold a flip phone up to Sarah Palin and get her saying something like, "We use Trig as a door stop"? No, really, could someone get this nouveau riche redneck twat on camera talking about how she'd never shop at Wal-Mart 'cause she might get some trailer trash tears on her? 'Cause the idea that she is "a force" in the American political discourse is like coming across a tribe in the jungle that worships a monkey head.

In her latest Facebook posting (which is exactly where Thomas Paine would write Common Sense today so he could only reach people who "like" him), Palin takes Barack Obama to task for not having spoken to BP CEO Tony Hayward directly: "The current administration may be unaware that it’s the President’s duty, meeting on a CEO-to-CEO level with Hayward, to verify what BP reports." She says that she was "a CEO" when she was governor of Alaska.

Now, while Palin may look at the words "chief executive" in reference to a governor or president and think it's the same thing as "Chief Executive Officer" in a corporation, it's that very analogy that has fucked us over. The government ain't a company. The president ain't a CEO. Palin is either an idiot, Chauncey Gardner with tits, or an unconscionable, self-aggrandizing moose-fucker.

See, a CEO's job is to make money for the corporation. That's it. Shit like laws and taxes and safety are impediments that must be dealt with on the way to making money. A CEO has to be a greedy bastard, a cuntish conqueror who doesn't give a fuck what has to be done to get more money. The second you say that the President of the United States is on an equivalent level with a CEO is the second you reveal that you don't know fuck-all about government and you degrade the presidency. The logical leap to President-as-CEO is a callous manipulation of the expectations of the governed, and it turns citizens into selfish shareholders.

Obama call Tony Hayward to get answers from him? Fucking why? Obama answered that well enough himself: "I have not spoken to him directly. Here's the reason. Because my experience is, when you talk to a guy like a BP CEO, he's gonna say all the right things to me. I'm not interested in words. I'm interested in actions." Palin's response to this? "Mr. President: with all due respect, you have to get involved, sir." What Palin is demanding is that the CEO of BP be elevated to world leader status. And, with no respect because none is due, she is the kind of oil pipe-sucking whore who would see it that way. Of course, it also completely erases all the involvement Obama has had, short of texting Tony Hayward with "hell of a spill lol".

One last thing: that Sarah Palin would invoke her two-and-a-half year stint as governor of Alaska as her "executive experience" is fucking pathetic, like a first-time tourist attempting to give directions to the locals.