Regarding Motherfuckers (Republican Edition):
Here's something one hopes the Obama administration has learned from the past couple of days: You need to expect that motherfuckers will fuck their mothers. It's just what motherfuckers do. They fuck their mothers. It's right there in the word. If you put John Boehner's mother in front of him, he will fuck her. Because he is a motherfucker. It's what he knows. It's what all Republicans know. It's their nature.
You can't just think that you'll walk into a group of 'em and say, "Aw, c'mon, stop fucking your mothers." They won't listen. You can appeal in any way you like - it's wrong, it's immoral, their mothers' asses are bleeding. It won't make a whit of difference. The motherfucking will continue, right in front of you. No, you just have to accept that a motherfucker will always fuck his or her mother every chance they can. That they live to fuck their mothers. To expect anything else is to be foolish. And once you accept that motherfuckers were, are, and will always be motherfuckers, you need to act accordingly. You need to treat motherfuckers like the motherfuckers they are.
We don't know what Barack Obama actually said to Republican members of Congress in his closed-door meetings with them yesterday regarding his stimulus plan. But we do know one thing for sure: it accomplished nothing. This is the way it's gonna go, and if you've paid attention at all, you know the steps: Obama will concede shit and Republicans will ask for more (even though they already got more tax cuts than anyone fucking needs), Obama will concede more shit and Republicans will ask for more (even though they're gonna get the family planning funding taken out), Obama will concede more shit and Republicans will ask for more, and then when the vote comes, Republicans will vote against it, saying that no one listened to them and fuck that Obama for lying about bipartisanship. Yet the legislation will have passed in a watered down form from the deep infrastructure and other spending so desperately needed to, you know, create jobs, which will, you know, create taxable income, which will, you know, help actually pay for shit some day.
Obama better know a simple fact: they fucking hate him. Right now, Obama represents the fact that everything they believed was a complete failure. For making that clear to the American people, they fucking despise him. They hate his majority, they hate his coattails, they hate that all over the country people are supporting his ideas. Republicans have nothing right now, which means they have nothing to lose by trying to drag Obama into their pit of shit. They'll smile and say it was a good conversation, but they're waiting in the back halls of the Capitol to fuckin' shiv Obama and laugh while he bleeds. And try to force Americans back into their crooked arms.
That's the thing about motherfuckers. You can tell them, "Okay, you can fuck your mothers, but only for an hour a day." They might agree, but sure as you're reading this, the second they walk away, they will...well, by now, you know.
Later this week: Umm, Democrats, hello? Is anyone there?