John McCain Is a Total Dick:
At some point during yesterday's interview on This Week with George Stephanopoulos's Hair, John McCain went from being "that cranky, hypocritical jerk-off" to a total dick. It is something of a remarkable journey since 2000, when he was that "honorable" man who was punched in the junk by Karl Rove in South Carolina, a blow that left him emasculated and obedient to the Bush administration, a dog leashed up and beaten into acquiescence. No, McCain was never the "maverick" the slobbering media wants him to be: he was just a slightly less cocksucking regular Republican. The shit on McCain that's been covered up because of the complicity of the press would make John Kennedy lift his head out of a stripper's twat and say, "Goddamn, and I thought they loved me."

Let's put aside for a moment the Fantasyland in which reside his economic "policies." Instead, check out what he said about the endorsement he begged for and got from John Hagee, the Armageddon-humping megachurch pastor who hates him some Catholics. When he was asked if hand-jobbing Hagee for an endorsement was a mistake, McCain, crazy maverick that he is, said, "Oh, probably, sure. But I admire and respect Dr. Hagee’s leadership of the — of his church. I admire and appreciate his advocacy for the state of Israel, the independence of the state of Israel. I condemn remarks that are made that has anything to do which is condemning of the Catholic Church."

Let's be clear here: Hagee only loves Israel because of that delicious mixture of delusion, faith, and violence known as "Christian Zionism." Nutzoid fundamentalists of this stripe need them some Israel because it's the battlefield for the coming war with the forces of Satan, which'll make Jeeezus come back and bring about the Rapture. No, really. (For big fun, check out Matt Taibbi's undercover infiltration of Hagee's church in the latest Rolling Stone.) So, in other words, McCain praises Hagee's support of Israel, which Hagee offers only out of hope that the world will end.

And McCain, being a dick, doesn't give a fuck what you think about this. "I’m glad to have his endorsement," he told Stephanopoulos. "I condemn remarks that are, in any way, viewed as anti-anything." Then, just as a little extra "fuck-you," he added, "But thanks for asking." Yeah, that'll teach Georgie-Porgie to ask McCain something that makes him twitch in a flashback to that bamboo cage.

By the way, the Hagee question came up after Stephanopoulos asked McCain about Barack Obama's patriotism, with the set-up being a quote from Karl Rove. Yes, Stephanopoulos thus gave McCain an opening to bring up former Weathermen member William Ayers and his relationship with Obama: "he became friends with him and spent time with him while the guy was unrepentant over his activities as a member of a terrorist organization, the Weathermen." Then McCain went berserker over Obama's response, where he said that Senator Tom Coburn wanted to jail doctors who performed abortions, but that they're still friends.

At some point, can someone tell the Republicans to get over the Sixties (and early Seventies)? Can we please have politicians who aren't still fighting the Vietnam War and the hippies? That's why 48 year-old Barack Obama's reaction to the dust-up over Ayers is something akin to "What the fuck?" Because, really, and c'mon, "What the fuck?"

'Cause what's a little more important here is perhaps McCain's absolutely bugfuck insane answer to the question about when we'll know if there's success in Iraq: "It’s not a matter of time. It’s a matter of casualties. If we can eliminate American casualties, that’s the key to the success. Because Americans are grieved by the loss of these brave — of our most — sacrifice of our most precious treasure." There it is: if the war can stop making Americans sad, then it'll be dandy. Really, the bottom-line measure is "The Iraqis can go fuck themselves."

But by far, the biggest dickish moment was when Stephanopoulos was asking McCain about health care, pointing out that the Senator had pretty much had his health care paid for by the government for his whole life. Said McCain, "It’s a cheap shot, but I did have a period of time where I didn’t have very good government health care. I had it from another government." And then he laughed that mad, chilling laugh he gets when he's reminding people that he was a prisoner of war. Oh-ho, so self-deprecating. Get it? He had five years of North Vietnamese health care and it sucked. Or, as McCain said after laughing, "So, look, I know what it’s like in America not to have health care."

Yes, John McCain knows your pain because he was tortured. Maybe his campaign slogan should be, "John McCain: Now It's Your Turn, Motherfuckers."