Why Rush Limbaugh Ought To Be Force-Fed His Own Liposuctioned Fat, Part 25:
Because, as the Rude Pundit predicted a long, long time ago, back on October 16, 2003, Rush Limbaugh has not become less evil since his inability to function without drugs was made public. In fact, the bloated banshee of bellicosity has become batshit insane on the air lately in reaction to the Iraqi prisoner torture scandal. As pointed out in constantly penitent David Brock's insanely valuable new website, Media Matters, Limbaugh barked like the dogs sicced on the screaming, nude Iraqi man, and, just to prove that he cannot stop invoking things from over a decade ago and cannot find anything recent to use as an analogy, compared the new photos to the NEA's funding of Andre Serrano's "Piss Christ" and Karen Finley's performance art. (For the record, the NEA funded those things during the Bush I adminstration.) This is not to mention the strange approval of homoerotic hazing that Rush gave in his first comments on Abu Ghraib. He called it "blowing off steam."
You know, the Rude Pundit believes that Rush Limbaugh has to have the whole collection of Iraqi prisoner torture pics on CD at home for his viewing pleasure. Yeah, he’s gotta be able to call up the un-pixillated images of quivering Sunni penises and raped little boys. You know it. You know he’s sittin’ there, in his Herman Miller computer desk chair, just jackin’ off, smackin’ his cock on the keyboard, rollin’ the mouse over his shaft, gettin’ his rocks off. And you know he calls his wife, Marta, in and he stands up, nude, and tells her, “Put this cigarette in your mouth. Point at my dick like you’re shooting it. Yeah, now put this dog collar around my neck and leash me up, toots, and drag my ass around this well-appointed penthouse."
Then, bound in plastic wrist ties, leather collar around his neck, tightened to the point of autoerotic asphyxiation, he has Marta break out the big strap-on, the one with the wide vibrator that he calls "Coulter" or, when feeling extra frisky, "Steely Ann," and Marta rolls her eyes, she knows the routine at this point. Coked out of her mind, she starts fucking Rush in the ass after stomping on his scrotum with her spiked shoes. He's got the Iraqi torture pictuers on high-res projection slideshow now, and Rush is feelin' like a Senator, like a Congressman, only he can ejaculate more freely than Tom DeLay when he watches the flashes of degradation pass by him. Rush loves getting fucked in the ass 'cause it's a legal way to get high, the only way to blow off steam. No maids, no doctors, just him and his lovely bride and Steely Ann, and she sure as shit ain't gonna talk. He's gettin' fucked so hard because it's the only way he can feel anything anymore in that polluted mind of his, the nexus of American hate and depravity.
Thanks to an astute reader, the Rude Pundit has corrected the name of the cocksucking Senator Inhofe from Oklahoma. Originally written as "Daniel," in confusion with the significantly less full of shit Senator Daniel Inouye of Hawaii, it has now been corrected to the proper "James."