Conservative Media Research Center Actually Praises NPR (Sometimes):
As many a commentator has noted, what is often called "liberal" in the media is just real journalism. Real journalists don't assume that the powerful are correct, no matter who is in power. Real journalism calls a demonstrable fact a demonstrable fact and a demonstrable lie a demonstrable lie. That's what "objectivity" is supposed to be about, not "balance." Balance is the lie that every issue has multiple sides that deserve equal consideration. People who understand media understand this. People who want the media to merely comfort their biases don't care.
Especially open to attack are those media outlets that are seen as intellectual or elitist because, apparently, long attention spans are only for fucking commies. For instance, The New Yorker magazine featured an article last year by Jane Mayer that revealed how the Koch brothers spend millions and millions of dollars funding conservative causes. If you're a liberal, that reporting demonstrated that what you believe about the monolithic right is true. However, last week, The New Yorker featured another massive article, this time on the clean-up operation of the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. This time, the article challenges many liberal assumptions about the competence of everyone involved, as well as the role of BP and the long-term impact on the environment. In other words, if the article is right, many of us on the left (and right) were wrong. But that's because journalism shouldn't make us comfortable all the time. Sometimes the facts support your opinion. Sometimes the facts force you to modify or change it. That's called using your brain.
And it's also what a thinking, informed citizen ought to be doing. Otherwise, you only get propaganda, no matter what side you're on. (This is not about false equation. The Rude Pundit will argue to the death that the liberal shows on MSNBC are more reality-based and fair than nearly the entire day of Fox "news," which is merely a fascist brainwashing outlet.)
The attacks on the perceived bias at National Public Radio have less to do with any real agenda by NPR to attack the right (even if sometimes their commentators do so) than it does with the fact that NPR actually reports on real shit and it has reporters around the world who understand the places and people where conflicts and events occur. As Media Matters showed, even many conservative commentators find NPR to be "fair," and that includes its coverage of the crazy-ass Tea Party.
One of NPR's staunchest critics has been the Media Research Center, Brent Bozell's bugfuck insane news nanny that goes berserker whenever an NPR report has five words more on the supposedly liberal side of an issue than the conservative or if it doesn't toe a particularly puritan moral line. The MRC's "research" was cited just this week by totally straight columnist Cal "Yes, My Photo Looks Like I'm Watching You Masturbate" Thomas to attack NPR.
Except, oh, shit, wait a second. Here's a list of stuff what the Rude Pundit got from the MRC that praises NPR for covering issues and events that the rest of the media ignores or gets wrong (in the MRC's estimation):
From the MRC's Business and Media Institute, October 15, 2009, in an article titled, "NPR to Stations: 'Avoid' Saying '46 Million Americans' Are Uninsured": "While many in the news media continue to inflate and exaggerate the number of uninsured Americans, National Public Radio is making a change." The article then says that NPR is clarifying an "error" in reporting the number of uninsured (by saying "people" and not "Americans"), unlike most other media outlets.
From the MRC's Business and Media Institute, November 14, 2007, in an article titled, "NPR: The Economy Is Surviving $100 Oil": "National Public Radio’s Morning Edition was one of few outlets to report that the cost of $100 oil hasn’t had the effect on the economy that many people expected." (Indeed, MRC praised the entire NPR series on the oil industry as being fair and reporting on aspects of profits and pricing that others had not. Or, in other words, the reports would not have given aid and comfort to latte-sipping tree-huggers.)
In a July 20, 2009 BiasAlert, the MRC noted that an NPR blog was one of the only media outlets to note the 40th anniversary of the Ted Kennedy/Chappaquiddick incident, even though the blog post provoked hate mail.
In other anniversary news, there's this March 2010 article where the MRC notes that NPR was one of the only outlets to mark the centennial of the Boy Scouts and it didn't get all caught up with that silly homophobia, noting that "listeners were incensed that NPR didn't mention the organization's policy on homosexuals."
Frankly, take out constant criticism of NPR reporter Nina Totenberg and the pre-heroically fired Juan Williams, and the MRC's argument that NPR has a liberal bias comes down to declaring repeatedly that NPR has a liberal bias.
But, hey, Douchbag Rape Scene Designer James O'Keefe edited a video that made an executive look bad. So who cares if the truth is pretty much exactly the opposite? De-fund that shit. Indeed, you know what would have saved us from this whole bullshit argument? If NPR or any major news outlet had done some real journalism prior to the usual insta-purge.
3/15/2011
This Week's Cheater and the Rude Show:
(Bumped up because of a screwed-up audio link. Corrected now.)
Hey, look, it's the first episode of Cheater and the Rude, the Rude Pundit's new online radio show and podcast from the Progressive Radio Network. It co-stars the lovable Jeff Kreisler, author of Get Rich Cheating.
It's over the internets, so the Rude Pundit gets to say things like "fucksaw." Which he does. Also, discussions of Wisconsin, a Crazy-Off between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, and so much more. Listen in every Thursday at 8 p.m. on PRN.
All your listening desires can be fulfilled by subscribing to the Rude Pundit's podcast.
(Bumped up because of a screwed-up audio link. Corrected now.)
Hey, look, it's the first episode of Cheater and the Rude, the Rude Pundit's new online radio show and podcast from the Progressive Radio Network. It co-stars the lovable Jeff Kreisler, author of Get Rich Cheating.
It's over the internets, so the Rude Pundit gets to say things like "fucksaw." Which he does. Also, discussions of Wisconsin, a Crazy-Off between Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann, and so much more. Listen in every Thursday at 8 p.m. on PRN.
All your listening desires can be fulfilled by subscribing to the Rude Pundit's podcast.
3/14/2011
So This Also Happened This Past Weekend:
Now, let's not take away from the sheer enormity of the earthquake and tsunami that has wrecked northern Japan. Obviously, it's a story with implications for this nation. But one would imagine that a 24-hour news channel might allow for a bit of coverage of other news. And if you had watched CNN this weekend, you might have heard a top of the hour mention of the Saturday rally in Madison, Wisconsin. In fact, here it is, from Sunday:
"A homecoming this weekend in Wisconsin for 14 Democratic senators who fled the state to block a vote on a bill cutting public workers' union rights. They were greeted by cheering crowds at the state capitol. The Republican-controlled Senate passed the controversial bill last week without the Democrats by taking out its spending provisions." Those "cheering crowds" numbered at around 100,000.
It was given the same weight as Rep. Michele Bachmann's basic ignorance of Schoolhouse Rock history.
Still, it was better than MSNBC, which didn't pause its weekend of Lockup episodes for any of the big news stories. Apparently, shivs, sodomy, and toilet hooch are more important than massive deaths or massive marches. Prisoners over people, so very American, you know. It doesn't have to bleed to lead. It's just blood all the time.
For the last month, the mainstream media ignored many of the important details of the story of Wisconsin's cross-eyed governor's repeal of collective bargaining rights. But it's sadly par for the course. If ten teabaggers farted in the same place last year, there was wall-to-wall coverage of the velocity and odor. Of course, the Tea Party stooges are merely doing the bidding of their very wealthy and corporate chain yankers, so there's a stake in making them appear mainstream. Teabaggers are begging to be left alone in selfish disempowerment. The protests in Wisconsin (and Ohio and Michigan and Indiana and Iowa) are about the rights of individuals to fight together for fairness and equality. The 100,000 people in Madison marched in a genuine protest against a tangible wrong, not an incomprehensible yawp against wrongly perceived and non-existent ills. It's a fine line. No, wait. It's a broad gulf between the two.
There's bad timing, for sure. And Japan's double-whammy should have made everyone stop giving a happy monkey fuck about media whores like Charlie Sheen and Sarah Palin. But, surely, CNN could have cut away a few times from the endless repetition of tsunami videos to focus on a political rally that was larger than any event the destructive teabaggers ever managed to cobble together. Surely, the roiling American Midwest is worthy of attention, too.
Now, let's not take away from the sheer enormity of the earthquake and tsunami that has wrecked northern Japan. Obviously, it's a story with implications for this nation. But one would imagine that a 24-hour news channel might allow for a bit of coverage of other news. And if you had watched CNN this weekend, you might have heard a top of the hour mention of the Saturday rally in Madison, Wisconsin. In fact, here it is, from Sunday:
"A homecoming this weekend in Wisconsin for 14 Democratic senators who fled the state to block a vote on a bill cutting public workers' union rights. They were greeted by cheering crowds at the state capitol. The Republican-controlled Senate passed the controversial bill last week without the Democrats by taking out its spending provisions." Those "cheering crowds" numbered at around 100,000.
It was given the same weight as Rep. Michele Bachmann's basic ignorance of Schoolhouse Rock history.
Still, it was better than MSNBC, which didn't pause its weekend of Lockup episodes for any of the big news stories. Apparently, shivs, sodomy, and toilet hooch are more important than massive deaths or massive marches. Prisoners over people, so very American, you know. It doesn't have to bleed to lead. It's just blood all the time.
For the last month, the mainstream media ignored many of the important details of the story of Wisconsin's cross-eyed governor's repeal of collective bargaining rights. But it's sadly par for the course. If ten teabaggers farted in the same place last year, there was wall-to-wall coverage of the velocity and odor. Of course, the Tea Party stooges are merely doing the bidding of their very wealthy and corporate chain yankers, so there's a stake in making them appear mainstream. Teabaggers are begging to be left alone in selfish disempowerment. The protests in Wisconsin (and Ohio and Michigan and Indiana and Iowa) are about the rights of individuals to fight together for fairness and equality. The 100,000 people in Madison marched in a genuine protest against a tangible wrong, not an incomprehensible yawp against wrongly perceived and non-existent ills. It's a fine line. No, wait. It's a broad gulf between the two.
There's bad timing, for sure. And Japan's double-whammy should have made everyone stop giving a happy monkey fuck about media whores like Charlie Sheen and Sarah Palin. But, surely, CNN could have cut away a few times from the endless repetition of tsunami videos to focus on a political rally that was larger than any event the destructive teabaggers ever managed to cobble together. Surely, the roiling American Midwest is worthy of attention, too.
3/11/2011
Extremism, Peter King, and Joe Doherty, IRA Soldier:
Whether or not you believed in the cause, for the British government, the Irish Republican Army was a terrorist organization that committed terrorist acts. Indeed, any group of "freedom fighters" that uses violence to, you know, harm people and, you know, terrorize others would be, in any context, a terrorist organization. Here's the FBI's definition of "terrorism": "The unlawful use of force or violence against persons or property to intimidate or coerce a Government, the civilian population, or any segment thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives." Yep, the IRA counts.
The thing about terrorists is that there's ones you support and there's ones you don't. You may be all for the rights of the Palestinians, but when some non-Israeli from Gaza commits violence against Israel, that's terrorism. In Libya, you can sure as hell bet that the Gaddafi regime considers the violence against it terrorism. They are merely the terrorists we in the United States happen to like. Yes, terrorists can become an army in a war against a corrupt government or an occupying power. But they're still terrorists until they take over. Like, you know, the colonists who fought the American Revolution.
Joe Doherty was not an innocent caught in a web of lies when he became one of the IRA's most-celebrated terrorists. He was convicted in abstentia in 1981 of the murder of a British soldier. He and three other IRA members took over a house in Belfast, locking the occupants in back room, which is generally known as "kidnapping." They intended to ambush a convoy of soliders and shoot at them with M60s from the upper floors of the house. But the soldiers got wind of the plan, and special forces went into the house. In the shoot-out that occurred, one officer was killed. Doherty escaped from jail during his trial and tried to seek refuge in the United States, but, after a nearly decade-long legal battle, during which he was imprisoned here, he was sent back to Northern Ireland to serve his sentence.
Interesting thing about Joe Doherty is that his direct treatment by the British is what radicalized him. Under the 1922 Special Powers Act for Northern Ireland, which granted the British military to arrest and hold anyone without trial, he was kept for months on a prison ship and then an internment camp. Mostly, he was picked up because of the people he associated with in his Belfast neighborhood. As much or as little as he supported the IRA prior to his detention, he went into the Active Service Unit afterward. In his 20s, he was interrogated and tortured by British soldiers for seven days before being imprisoned again. The British were bastards about Northern Ireland. Things like indefinite detention and torture, though, tend to make people angry towards their captors, as we well, well know.
The issue here is not to re-argue the extradition fight over Joe Doherty. The convicted murderer was in prison until 1998, and he now works helping youths in trouble and ex-convicts. When the Reagan and the Bush I administrations were trying to get Doherty extradited, the man who had gunned down a British officer had the backing of over a hundred members of Congress and a large fan base in the American public and media.
He had the backing of Nassau County Comptroller Peter King, who in 1992 said of the decision to send Doherty home, "It's a disgrace, an absolute disgrace...The Bush Administration has really turned its back on America's tradition of being a sanctuary for political refugees. They've allowed their interests with the British Foreign Office to impede justice." In 1988, so outraged was King about Attorney General Edwin Meese's refusal to negotiate on extradition, he said, "[Meese] might as well have been on the payroll of the British foreign office." As has been well-documented at this point, now-Representative Peter King had a long history of supporting the IRA. Some of that support, like speaking at pro-IRA-rallies, would have ended his career if he had been talking to, say, Americans for al-Qaeda or something. But, ah, yes, we do pick and choose our terrorists.
So while King can hold his hearings on Muslim extremism, as is his right as chair of the Homeland Security Committee, and he can talk all he wants about Muslims recruiting terrorists right here in the United States, well, we already know that Americans can support terrorists with all their heart, to the point where they want kidnappers and killers to go free, because Peter King did so.
Whether or not you believed in the cause, for the British government, the Irish Republican Army was a terrorist organization that committed terrorist acts. Indeed, any group of "freedom fighters" that uses violence to, you know, harm people and, you know, terrorize others would be, in any context, a terrorist organization. Here's the FBI's definition of "terrorism": "The unlawful use of force or violence against persons or property to intimidate or coerce a Government, the civilian population, or any segment thereof, in furtherance of political or social objectives." Yep, the IRA counts.
The thing about terrorists is that there's ones you support and there's ones you don't. You may be all for the rights of the Palestinians, but when some non-Israeli from Gaza commits violence against Israel, that's terrorism. In Libya, you can sure as hell bet that the Gaddafi regime considers the violence against it terrorism. They are merely the terrorists we in the United States happen to like. Yes, terrorists can become an army in a war against a corrupt government or an occupying power. But they're still terrorists until they take over. Like, you know, the colonists who fought the American Revolution.
Joe Doherty was not an innocent caught in a web of lies when he became one of the IRA's most-celebrated terrorists. He was convicted in abstentia in 1981 of the murder of a British soldier. He and three other IRA members took over a house in Belfast, locking the occupants in back room, which is generally known as "kidnapping." They intended to ambush a convoy of soliders and shoot at them with M60s from the upper floors of the house. But the soldiers got wind of the plan, and special forces went into the house. In the shoot-out that occurred, one officer was killed. Doherty escaped from jail during his trial and tried to seek refuge in the United States, but, after a nearly decade-long legal battle, during which he was imprisoned here, he was sent back to Northern Ireland to serve his sentence.
Interesting thing about Joe Doherty is that his direct treatment by the British is what radicalized him. Under the 1922 Special Powers Act for Northern Ireland, which granted the British military to arrest and hold anyone without trial, he was kept for months on a prison ship and then an internment camp. Mostly, he was picked up because of the people he associated with in his Belfast neighborhood. As much or as little as he supported the IRA prior to his detention, he went into the Active Service Unit afterward. In his 20s, he was interrogated and tortured by British soldiers for seven days before being imprisoned again. The British were bastards about Northern Ireland. Things like indefinite detention and torture, though, tend to make people angry towards their captors, as we well, well know.
The issue here is not to re-argue the extradition fight over Joe Doherty. The convicted murderer was in prison until 1998, and he now works helping youths in trouble and ex-convicts. When the Reagan and the Bush I administrations were trying to get Doherty extradited, the man who had gunned down a British officer had the backing of over a hundred members of Congress and a large fan base in the American public and media.
He had the backing of Nassau County Comptroller Peter King, who in 1992 said of the decision to send Doherty home, "It's a disgrace, an absolute disgrace...The Bush Administration has really turned its back on America's tradition of being a sanctuary for political refugees. They've allowed their interests with the British Foreign Office to impede justice." In 1988, so outraged was King about Attorney General Edwin Meese's refusal to negotiate on extradition, he said, "[Meese] might as well have been on the payroll of the British foreign office." As has been well-documented at this point, now-Representative Peter King had a long history of supporting the IRA. Some of that support, like speaking at pro-IRA-rallies, would have ended his career if he had been talking to, say, Americans for al-Qaeda or something. But, ah, yes, we do pick and choose our terrorists.
So while King can hold his hearings on Muslim extremism, as is his right as chair of the Homeland Security Committee, and he can talk all he wants about Muslims recruiting terrorists right here in the United States, well, we already know that Americans can support terrorists with all their heart, to the point where they want kidnappers and killers to go free, because Peter King did so.
3/10/2011
Rude Audio News:
So tonight is the debut of the new online radio show, Cheater and the Rude, featuring comic and author Jeff Kreisler and the Rude Pundit in hopefully hilarious conversation about the news o' the week. We'll be live at 8 p.m. on the Progressive Radio Network. Listen in or check out the pod version.
Oh, and here's this week's appearance on The Stephanie Miller Show, which also featured the very handsome Hal Sparks:
You can get all your rude podcast needs by subscribing to, you know, the Rude Pundit's podcast.
So tonight is the debut of the new online radio show, Cheater and the Rude, featuring comic and author Jeff Kreisler and the Rude Pundit in hopefully hilarious conversation about the news o' the week. We'll be live at 8 p.m. on the Progressive Radio Network. Listen in or check out the pod version.
Oh, and here's this week's appearance on The Stephanie Miller Show, which also featured the very handsome Hal Sparks:
You can get all your rude podcast needs by subscribing to, you know, the Rude Pundit's podcast.
A Few Observations Regarding Last Evening's Events in Wisconsin:
1. Here's one reason why the whole debate over public employee unions and collective bargaining rights matters: The Rude Pundit's got friends in low places. Specifically, the Rude Pundit's got several friends in low-level positions in local and state governments in the South, in right-to-work states (which means, in case you don't know, "you can work as long as you don't join a union or until you look at your boss funny"). They work in jobs that have nothing to do with politics other than the fact that they are government workers. They are pencil pushers, researcher poins, and office monkeys. Some of them have been in their jobs for a couple of decades.
Yet every four years, when elections come around and the official who runs whatever department these friends are in is running for a new term, they sweat bullets. Because should their elected boss lose, a new boss can come in and fire anyone he or she wants without cause and without any recourse for someone who has done a job well for 10 or 20 years. Or, in other words, the newly-elected official can fire an employee with heavy seniority in order to give his/her nephew a job, and there is not a goddamned thing the employee can do about it.
You know where this doesn't occur? In states where the public employees have union contracts that offer them protections gained through collective bargaining.
Now, in a brief moment of reflection, ask yourself, dear, sick-minded conservatives who don't understand anything about labor/management relations: what is going to make public employees - your courthouse workers, your state tax office staff, your firefighters - more political in their jobs? To feel free to do the job they were hired to do? Or to feel as if they need to please the agenda of someone who can drop them at a whim? (And if your answer is, "Well, why should public employees be special? I can be fired from my job at Almagamated Douchebags if I don't follow my boss's political agenda no matter how good I am," then you should probably unionize yourself.)
By the way, these friends get shitty salaries, in addition to the quadrennial diarrhea. You know why they stay at the jobs? The benefits make up for it. But, hey, let's take that away, too.
2. It's time to fuck shit up in Wisconsin, in Michigan, in fact, all over the United States. In England, public employees are planning a June general strike over a coming plan to jack up the retirement age by 6 years and to cut benefits while raising the amount of the workers' contribution. The trade unions expect over a million workers to join in.
In Wisconsin last night, the fuckbag Republicans in the state Senate came up with a possibly illegal way to bypass a vote that required the on-the-run Democrats to be present, and they stripped away almost all the collective bargaining rights of state workers. How? By removing the collective bargaining part of the "budget repair" bill and voting on it separately, thus saying that it wasn't a fiscal matter needing a quorum. Or, in other words, the motherfuckers fucked the workers' mothers. Fucked 'em hard.
In Michigan, the legislature is about to pass a bill that will allow state-appointed emergency financial managers to take over cash-strapped cities and, if necessary, "cancel employee contracts, fire administrators or declare bankruptcy." Union contract with a teacher? Canceled by the governor's appointee. Legally-elected mayor and city council? Tossed out on the word of one person. That's a golden ticket of motherfuckery, man.
Imagine for one second what would have happened if Democratic-majorities in state legislatures passed bills that allowed a governor to disband local governments. Imagine the imbecilic grunts of "fascism" and "socialism" and "zoroastrianism" or whatever the hell teabaggers are shouting about. As for what happened in Wisconsin, all you have to do is look at what happened when Democrats in the U.S. Senate used budget reconciliation to pass health care reform legislation, a maneuver that Republicans had used numerous times in recent years. Fox "news" practically sold pitchforks and torches. The fucking capital in Madison would have been burned to the ground.
In Wisconsin, it's getting crazy, with the statehouse literally being stormed by a mob of protesters last night and with arrests of protesters going on today. Governor Walker (dubbed a "cross-eyed Kock-sucker" by a gleefully untethered Keith Olbermann) will sign his political death warrant when he approves the bill, as he'll be recalled next year without a doubt. And this weekend in Madison, it's gonna be flat-out nuts.
As it fucking well should be. With so many Republicans in DC talking about a government shutdown as if it's some kind of moral stand against spending, we, the people (we're still here, you know), ought to be talking recalls against Republicans around the country, if not a general strike. The strike's already in the mix for strategies in Wisconsin, except that the bill itself makes it possible for the governor to declare a state of emergency and fire any state worker (see #1).
Republicans have declared war on the unions, backed by so much money that you could bathe in it. Let's come up with a war plan to fight back. Let's have at least a fraction of the balls that the original union organizers had back in the day or that British workers have today.
3. Where the fuck is the President? Where the fuck is the President? Where the fuck is the President?
1. Here's one reason why the whole debate over public employee unions and collective bargaining rights matters: The Rude Pundit's got friends in low places. Specifically, the Rude Pundit's got several friends in low-level positions in local and state governments in the South, in right-to-work states (which means, in case you don't know, "you can work as long as you don't join a union or until you look at your boss funny"). They work in jobs that have nothing to do with politics other than the fact that they are government workers. They are pencil pushers, researcher poins, and office monkeys. Some of them have been in their jobs for a couple of decades.
Yet every four years, when elections come around and the official who runs whatever department these friends are in is running for a new term, they sweat bullets. Because should their elected boss lose, a new boss can come in and fire anyone he or she wants without cause and without any recourse for someone who has done a job well for 10 or 20 years. Or, in other words, the newly-elected official can fire an employee with heavy seniority in order to give his/her nephew a job, and there is not a goddamned thing the employee can do about it.
You know where this doesn't occur? In states where the public employees have union contracts that offer them protections gained through collective bargaining.
Now, in a brief moment of reflection, ask yourself, dear, sick-minded conservatives who don't understand anything about labor/management relations: what is going to make public employees - your courthouse workers, your state tax office staff, your firefighters - more political in their jobs? To feel free to do the job they were hired to do? Or to feel as if they need to please the agenda of someone who can drop them at a whim? (And if your answer is, "Well, why should public employees be special? I can be fired from my job at Almagamated Douchebags if I don't follow my boss's political agenda no matter how good I am," then you should probably unionize yourself.)
By the way, these friends get shitty salaries, in addition to the quadrennial diarrhea. You know why they stay at the jobs? The benefits make up for it. But, hey, let's take that away, too.
2. It's time to fuck shit up in Wisconsin, in Michigan, in fact, all over the United States. In England, public employees are planning a June general strike over a coming plan to jack up the retirement age by 6 years and to cut benefits while raising the amount of the workers' contribution. The trade unions expect over a million workers to join in.
In Wisconsin last night, the fuckbag Republicans in the state Senate came up with a possibly illegal way to bypass a vote that required the on-the-run Democrats to be present, and they stripped away almost all the collective bargaining rights of state workers. How? By removing the collective bargaining part of the "budget repair" bill and voting on it separately, thus saying that it wasn't a fiscal matter needing a quorum. Or, in other words, the motherfuckers fucked the workers' mothers. Fucked 'em hard.
In Michigan, the legislature is about to pass a bill that will allow state-appointed emergency financial managers to take over cash-strapped cities and, if necessary, "cancel employee contracts, fire administrators or declare bankruptcy." Union contract with a teacher? Canceled by the governor's appointee. Legally-elected mayor and city council? Tossed out on the word of one person. That's a golden ticket of motherfuckery, man.
Imagine for one second what would have happened if Democratic-majorities in state legislatures passed bills that allowed a governor to disband local governments. Imagine the imbecilic grunts of "fascism" and "socialism" and "zoroastrianism" or whatever the hell teabaggers are shouting about. As for what happened in Wisconsin, all you have to do is look at what happened when Democrats in the U.S. Senate used budget reconciliation to pass health care reform legislation, a maneuver that Republicans had used numerous times in recent years. Fox "news" practically sold pitchforks and torches. The fucking capital in Madison would have been burned to the ground.
In Wisconsin, it's getting crazy, with the statehouse literally being stormed by a mob of protesters last night and with arrests of protesters going on today. Governor Walker (dubbed a "cross-eyed Kock-sucker" by a gleefully untethered Keith Olbermann) will sign his political death warrant when he approves the bill, as he'll be recalled next year without a doubt. And this weekend in Madison, it's gonna be flat-out nuts.
As it fucking well should be. With so many Republicans in DC talking about a government shutdown as if it's some kind of moral stand against spending, we, the people (we're still here, you know), ought to be talking recalls against Republicans around the country, if not a general strike. The strike's already in the mix for strategies in Wisconsin, except that the bill itself makes it possible for the governor to declare a state of emergency and fire any state worker (see #1).
Republicans have declared war on the unions, backed by so much money that you could bathe in it. Let's come up with a war plan to fight back. Let's have at least a fraction of the balls that the original union organizers had back in the day or that British workers have today.
3. Where the fuck is the President? Where the fuck is the President? Where the fuck is the President?
3/09/2011
In Brief: Newt Gingrich Will Fuck You With His Passion for America:
When David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network (motto: "It's not news unless we've nailed it") asked bloated serial adulterer and ex-House Speaker Newt Gingrich about his "personal issues as it relates to the past" not "in the way that everybody else has asked about it," Brody was referring to Gingrich fucking around on his cancer-ridden first wife with the woman who became his second wife and then fucking around on her when she got MS with the woman who became his third wife.
What's Gingrich's explanation to the listening and watching Christianites? He just loves this country so fucking much: "There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate." That's right. He wasn't driven by a desire to stick his tiny penis into strange vaginas and jiggle around there for a little while. No, he was forced to fuck around on his wives because he just loved America so much. Why didn't John Edwards think of that? Oh, and God has forgiven Newt for it, so, you know, you can go fuck yourself with your condemnation.
Gingrich is probably going to run for the Republican nomination for president because, really, at this point in his post-disgraceful resignation career, what the fuck else is he gonna do? Get a job? He describes how people view the president-person in the creepiest way possible: "You want to be able to look into them and understand, do they share my values? Do they know what I’m frightened of? Do they have answers that are real? Are they stable; are they capable of doing something? It’s one thing to be an advisor. It’s another thing to be a doer." Doer? He barely knew 'er. (High five, anyone?)
Also, did you know that Newt's got an opinion on Judeo-Christian society? Fuck, yeah, he does. "In a sense, our Judeo-Christian civilization is under attack from two fronts. On one front, you have a secular, atheist, elitism. And on the other front, you have radical Islamists. And both groups would like to eliminate our civilization if they could. For different reasons, but with equal passion."
By "passion," of course, he means that secular, elitist atheists and radical Muslims want to make sweet love with Judeo-Christians. It's what you do when you're all passionate about something, as Gingrich would know.
When David Brody of the Christian Broadcasting Network (motto: "It's not news unless we've nailed it") asked bloated serial adulterer and ex-House Speaker Newt Gingrich about his "personal issues as it relates to the past" not "in the way that everybody else has asked about it," Brody was referring to Gingrich fucking around on his cancer-ridden first wife with the woman who became his second wife and then fucking around on her when she got MS with the woman who became his third wife.
What's Gingrich's explanation to the listening and watching Christianites? He just loves this country so fucking much: "There’s no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate." That's right. He wasn't driven by a desire to stick his tiny penis into strange vaginas and jiggle around there for a little while. No, he was forced to fuck around on his wives because he just loved America so much. Why didn't John Edwards think of that? Oh, and God has forgiven Newt for it, so, you know, you can go fuck yourself with your condemnation.
Gingrich is probably going to run for the Republican nomination for president because, really, at this point in his post-disgraceful resignation career, what the fuck else is he gonna do? Get a job? He describes how people view the president-person in the creepiest way possible: "You want to be able to look into them and understand, do they share my values? Do they know what I’m frightened of? Do they have answers that are real? Are they stable; are they capable of doing something? It’s one thing to be an advisor. It’s another thing to be a doer." Doer? He barely knew 'er. (High five, anyone?)
Also, did you know that Newt's got an opinion on Judeo-Christian society? Fuck, yeah, he does. "In a sense, our Judeo-Christian civilization is under attack from two fronts. On one front, you have a secular, atheist, elitism. And on the other front, you have radical Islamists. And both groups would like to eliminate our civilization if they could. For different reasons, but with equal passion."
By "passion," of course, he means that secular, elitist atheists and radical Muslims want to make sweet love with Judeo-Christians. It's what you do when you're all passionate about something, as Gingrich would know.
3/08/2011
Gitmo Trials Are So Much Better Now Than Before:
Sigh.
Let's go through the pre-presidential history here with quotes from the man himself:
September 29, 2006, from a Washington Post article on the passage of the Military Commissions Act: "'There will be 30-second attack ads and negative mail pieces, and we will be called everything from cut-and-run quitters to Defeatocrats, to people who care more about the rights of terrorists than the protection of Americans,' predicted Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.). 'While I know all of this, I'm still disappointed, and I'm still ashamed, because what we're doing here today -- a debate over the fundamental human rights of the accused -- should be bigger than politics.'"
From a speech on August 1, 2007: "There has been only one conviction at Guantanamo. It was for a guilty plea on material support for terrorism. The sentence was 9 months. There has not been one conviction of a terrorist act. I have faith in America's courts, and I have faith in our JAGs. As President, I will close Guantanamo, reject the Military Commissions Act, and adhere to the Geneva Conventions. Our Constitution and our Uniform Code of Military Justice provide a framework for dealing with the terrorists.
From a July 13, 2008 New York Times article on the Supreme Court's Boumediene decision that detainees have habeas corpus rights: "'I voted against the Military Commissions Act because its sloppiness would inevitably lead to the court, once again, rejecting the administration's extreme legal position."
And on and on, with the White House halting the military tribunals in January 2009 while it reviewed the process, and leading, of course, to yesterday's Executive Order that restarts military commissions with a couple of different (and not insignificant) rules. It's really kinder, gentler indefinite detentions, or periodic reviews without periodic waterboarding. Geneva Convention protections are in place now. Whatever you want to call it, there's still gonna be half-baked trials at Gitmo, just with a tart glaze of hope and change.
It's hard to pinpoint the most depressing aspect of this story. It could be that, despite the administration's claims to the contrary, Gitmo ain't closing any time soon or late. It could be that the political climate is so degraded that the cowardly Congress has blocked just about every other path to justice for detainees. It could be that President Obama has decided that the debate is not bigger than politics.
The Rude Pundit's gonna go with this, though: The Executive Order opens, "By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, including the Authorization for Use of Military Force of September 2001 (AUMF)..." Yep, the same broad authority claimed by George W. Bush under AUMF is now being claimed by Barack Obama. The question, then, is that if Obama is going to go with the whole imperial presidency thing, why not use it for different goals?
Sigh.
Let's go through the pre-presidential history here with quotes from the man himself:
September 29, 2006, from a Washington Post article on the passage of the Military Commissions Act: "'There will be 30-second attack ads and negative mail pieces, and we will be called everything from cut-and-run quitters to Defeatocrats, to people who care more about the rights of terrorists than the protection of Americans,' predicted Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.). 'While I know all of this, I'm still disappointed, and I'm still ashamed, because what we're doing here today -- a debate over the fundamental human rights of the accused -- should be bigger than politics.'"
From a speech on August 1, 2007: "There has been only one conviction at Guantanamo. It was for a guilty plea on material support for terrorism. The sentence was 9 months. There has not been one conviction of a terrorist act. I have faith in America's courts, and I have faith in our JAGs. As President, I will close Guantanamo, reject the Military Commissions Act, and adhere to the Geneva Conventions. Our Constitution and our Uniform Code of Military Justice provide a framework for dealing with the terrorists.
From a July 13, 2008 New York Times article on the Supreme Court's Boumediene decision that detainees have habeas corpus rights: "'I voted against the Military Commissions Act because its sloppiness would inevitably lead to the court, once again, rejecting the administration's extreme legal position."
And on and on, with the White House halting the military tribunals in January 2009 while it reviewed the process, and leading, of course, to yesterday's Executive Order that restarts military commissions with a couple of different (and not insignificant) rules. It's really kinder, gentler indefinite detentions, or periodic reviews without periodic waterboarding. Geneva Convention protections are in place now. Whatever you want to call it, there's still gonna be half-baked trials at Gitmo, just with a tart glaze of hope and change.
It's hard to pinpoint the most depressing aspect of this story. It could be that, despite the administration's claims to the contrary, Gitmo ain't closing any time soon or late. It could be that the political climate is so degraded that the cowardly Congress has blocked just about every other path to justice for detainees. It could be that President Obama has decided that the debate is not bigger than politics.
The Rude Pundit's gonna go with this, though: The Executive Order opens, "By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, including the Authorization for Use of Military Force of September 2001 (AUMF)..." Yep, the same broad authority claimed by George W. Bush under AUMF is now being claimed by Barack Obama. The question, then, is that if Obama is going to go with the whole imperial presidency thing, why not use it for different goals?
3/07/2011
A Note to Rich People: You Should Probably Be Thinking Ahead Right About Now:
If the Rude Pundit were a really, really rich motherfucker, like in the several hundred million and above club, he'd call a meeting of all his fellow really, really rich motherfuckers and he'd tell 'em that we've crossed a line, and, unless we want our houses burned down, our assets confiscated, our dogs raped, and our children killed like they were the brood of the Tsar, we better stop acting like such greedy pricks and demand that the people we all own in the government stop licking our taints clean for a little while and start acting like we're regular Americans, not First Class Black Card Americans.
The really, really rich Rude Pundit would point out that the filthy masses are getting all squirrely about collective bargaining rights and budget cuts on programs for the poor and middle class in order to pay for our tax cuts and the failure to prosecute a single person for shitcanning the economy. He'd then inform everyone that once the income gap gets more fully into the rhetorical mix, well, we really, really rich motherfuckers would be fucked and a half.
Yeah, the Rude Pundit would say, we've overplayed our hand. It's time, he'd say, it's long, long past time, he'd implore, for our taxes to be raised, that, let's stop being dickheads about it, we could afford a 20 or 30% hike in our income taxes, that we in the top 1% of income earners would still take home more than our fair share, 15% of the total income in the nation instead of the current 20%. He'd tell them we need to beg Congress and the state legislatures to hike taxes and use that money on things like education and food and health care and goddamned poison control hotlines.
And he'd sigh and tell 'em that we have to give up a few of the Wall Streeters to prison sentences. The gods of hedge fund mismanagement demand a sacrifice so that the people on pensions are appeased. Maybe a Lloyd Blankfein or a Stephen Schwarzman. And the bonuses? Kiss those fuckers good-bye.
Oh, sure, sure, there'd be a hell of an uproar. Idiots like David Koch would point out all the good works they do for, say, cancer research. Hell, he gave almost as much money to set up a cancer institute as he did to elect Republicans. A few others would say that they can just pick up and fly away to another country, to the UAE or some damn island. But the Rude Pundit would say that they're bluffing and that no place is safe right now.
"You understand how this ends?" the Rude Pundit would ask, slapping Kenneth Langone in the face. "You understand that it might take a few years, but at some point it's all gonna blow up?" He'd point to history, again and again, that oligarchies crumble, are ripped apart, are subjected to savage retribution. No, he'd cry out, we need to be proactive here. Give a little now and save a lot later. "The only thing we can hope is that it isn't too late or we're too fucking bloated and dumb to do it."
If the Rude Pundit were a really, really rich motherfucker, like in the several hundred million and above club, he'd call a meeting of all his fellow really, really rich motherfuckers and he'd tell 'em that we've crossed a line, and, unless we want our houses burned down, our assets confiscated, our dogs raped, and our children killed like they were the brood of the Tsar, we better stop acting like such greedy pricks and demand that the people we all own in the government stop licking our taints clean for a little while and start acting like we're regular Americans, not First Class Black Card Americans.
The really, really rich Rude Pundit would point out that the filthy masses are getting all squirrely about collective bargaining rights and budget cuts on programs for the poor and middle class in order to pay for our tax cuts and the failure to prosecute a single person for shitcanning the economy. He'd then inform everyone that once the income gap gets more fully into the rhetorical mix, well, we really, really rich motherfuckers would be fucked and a half.
Yeah, the Rude Pundit would say, we've overplayed our hand. It's time, he'd say, it's long, long past time, he'd implore, for our taxes to be raised, that, let's stop being dickheads about it, we could afford a 20 or 30% hike in our income taxes, that we in the top 1% of income earners would still take home more than our fair share, 15% of the total income in the nation instead of the current 20%. He'd tell them we need to beg Congress and the state legislatures to hike taxes and use that money on things like education and food and health care and goddamned poison control hotlines.
And he'd sigh and tell 'em that we have to give up a few of the Wall Streeters to prison sentences. The gods of hedge fund mismanagement demand a sacrifice so that the people on pensions are appeased. Maybe a Lloyd Blankfein or a Stephen Schwarzman. And the bonuses? Kiss those fuckers good-bye.
Oh, sure, sure, there'd be a hell of an uproar. Idiots like David Koch would point out all the good works they do for, say, cancer research. Hell, he gave almost as much money to set up a cancer institute as he did to elect Republicans. A few others would say that they can just pick up and fly away to another country, to the UAE or some damn island. But the Rude Pundit would say that they're bluffing and that no place is safe right now.
"You understand how this ends?" the Rude Pundit would ask, slapping Kenneth Langone in the face. "You understand that it might take a few years, but at some point it's all gonna blow up?" He'd point to history, again and again, that oligarchies crumble, are ripped apart, are subjected to savage retribution. No, he'd cry out, we need to be proactive here. Give a little now and save a lot later. "The only thing we can hope is that it isn't too late or we're too fucking bloated and dumb to do it."
3/04/2011
Photos That Show Why the Supreme Court Affirmed the Right to Be Rude:
Let's get a couple of things straight here: Almost no one actually supports the Westboro Baptist Church, a handful of inbred, dick-faced, walking cumstains whose accumulated intelligence and number of teeth drag the human species a few rungs down the evolutionary ladder to that level where throwing one's own shit is seen as a valid expression of dissent. The fact that no one has gunned them down demonstrates pretty fucking clearly that violence against people is not really big in the arsenal of liberals. The fact that no God has grabbed them from their picket near the funerals of dead soldiers or anyone and strung them up by their intestines and allowed them to be organ pinatas for starving Third World children is probably the best evidence out there that atheists are right.
Speaking of atheists, for us, the sign "God Hates Fags" is more or less the rhetorical equivalent of "Micky Mouse Hates Spics." Oh, really? Your fictional character has a problem with someone? Well, fuck you, let's just invent Super-God who kicks your God's ass.
But, ah, shit, much as it sucks, the Supreme Court's 8-1 decision was correct to affirm the right of the inbreds to wave their retard signs of hate. "This nation's destruction is imminent," cackled one of the inbreds like Walter Brennan on a meth binge. That was in appreciation of the decision and completely without irony.
So you see that sign up there at the Wisconsin State Capitol? It reads "Walker Sucks Koch," in reference to Governor Scott Walker and the wealthy conservative financiers whom he blows. What the Supreme Court also said was that, as long as it's in a public space, let your freak flag fly, man. "God Hates Fags" is now where the bar has been set. Surely we can be more creative when it comes to more of our causes. Justice John Roberts told us to go for it.
Let's get a couple of things straight here: Almost no one actually supports the Westboro Baptist Church, a handful of inbred, dick-faced, walking cumstains whose accumulated intelligence and number of teeth drag the human species a few rungs down the evolutionary ladder to that level where throwing one's own shit is seen as a valid expression of dissent. The fact that no one has gunned them down demonstrates pretty fucking clearly that violence against people is not really big in the arsenal of liberals. The fact that no God has grabbed them from their picket near the funerals of dead soldiers or anyone and strung them up by their intestines and allowed them to be organ pinatas for starving Third World children is probably the best evidence out there that atheists are right.
Speaking of atheists, for us, the sign "God Hates Fags" is more or less the rhetorical equivalent of "Micky Mouse Hates Spics." Oh, really? Your fictional character has a problem with someone? Well, fuck you, let's just invent Super-God who kicks your God's ass.
But, ah, shit, much as it sucks, the Supreme Court's 8-1 decision was correct to affirm the right of the inbreds to wave their retard signs of hate. "This nation's destruction is imminent," cackled one of the inbreds like Walter Brennan on a meth binge. That was in appreciation of the decision and completely without irony.
So you see that sign up there at the Wisconsin State Capitol? It reads "Walker Sucks Koch," in reference to Governor Scott Walker and the wealthy conservative financiers whom he blows. What the Supreme Court also said was that, as long as it's in a public space, let your freak flag fly, man. "God Hates Fags" is now where the bar has been set. Surely we can be more creative when it comes to more of our causes. Justice John Roberts told us to go for it.
3/03/2011
A Brief Conversation with the Rude Mom Regarding the Rude Pundit's Writing Style:
Mom: Did you have to say that about Lynne Cheney's clitoris?
RP: Yes. Yes, I did.
One of the last things the Rude Pundit got to do with his mom was sit in her hospital room at St. Luke's in Houston and read her parts of his book that were about the times she took him to see Ronald Reagan and William F. Buckley and others, formative experiences in learning who deserves disdain and condemnation. As weak as she was, she laughed and tsked, as she always did when she read his work.
Those tsks and and laughs and eye rolls and comments will be dearly, dearly missed.
Back to regular blogging.
Mom: Did you have to say that about Lynne Cheney's clitoris?
RP: Yes. Yes, I did.
One of the last things the Rude Pundit got to do with his mom was sit in her hospital room at St. Luke's in Houston and read her parts of his book that were about the times she took him to see Ronald Reagan and William F. Buckley and others, formative experiences in learning who deserves disdain and condemnation. As weak as she was, she laughed and tsked, as she always did when she read his work.
Those tsks and and laughs and eye rolls and comments will be dearly, dearly missed.
Back to regular blogging.
2/28/2011
Taking a Few Days of Comp Time:
My mother passed away this past weekend after battling t-cell lymphoma. So this blog will be dark for the next few days as I head back south to be with family.
I thank you in advance for watering the plants, and, while the bar is always open, leave a little whiskey for when I get back.
My mother passed away this past weekend after battling t-cell lymphoma. So this blog will be dark for the next few days as I head back south to be with family.
I thank you in advance for watering the plants, and, while the bar is always open, leave a little whiskey for when I get back.
2/26/2011
The Ever-Expanding Empire of Rudeness:
So there's the new book, The Rude Pundit's Almanack:
Featuring mostly never-blogged new stuff and already called "the first must-buy dirty-fucking-hippie book of 2011" over at the Daily Kos and "provocative, hilarious, and weirdly elegant" by Laura Ellen Scott in the online journal Prick of the Spindle, you can purchase the book in paperback or electronic form for now only through its publisher, up-and-coming small press OR Books.
(It's not a stretch to say that the book is being sold the same way that Radiohead is selling its latest album. [And that remark is about sales techniques, not qualitative comparisons.])
And then there's this: the Rude Pundit has joined up with writer and comic Jeff Kreisler for a new online radio show/podcast at the Progressive Radio Network. Cheater and the Rude (which is funny because it sounds like BJ and the Bear or Josie and the Pussycats) premieres its quirky, half-hour little ass this coming Thursday, March 3 at 8 pm.
In these times of upheaval, we could use a hot injection of raw rudeness.
So there's the new book, The Rude Pundit's Almanack:
Featuring mostly never-blogged new stuff and already called "the first must-buy dirty-fucking-hippie book of 2011" over at the Daily Kos and "provocative, hilarious, and weirdly elegant" by Laura Ellen Scott in the online journal Prick of the Spindle, you can purchase the book in paperback or electronic form for now only through its publisher, up-and-coming small press OR Books.
(It's not a stretch to say that the book is being sold the same way that Radiohead is selling its latest album. [And that remark is about sales techniques, not qualitative comparisons.])
And then there's this: the Rude Pundit has joined up with writer and comic Jeff Kreisler for a new online radio show/podcast at the Progressive Radio Network. Cheater and the Rude (which is funny because it sounds like BJ and the Bear or Josie and the Pussycats) premieres its quirky, half-hour little ass this coming Thursday, March 3 at 8 pm.
In these times of upheaval, we could use a hot injection of raw rudeness.
2/25/2011
This Never Ending Abortion War:
We proud members of the nutzoid conservative Family Research Council's Super-Duper Prayer Team are often called upon to squat and squeeze out a prayer loaf in the most extreme circumstances. The Rude Pundit joined the Super-Duper Prayer Team a few years ago under a nom de rude, and every week he receives an email with his prayicide orders. Generally, it's about gays and abortion. And this week is no exception except that it's exceptionally important.
See, a budget amendment denying federal funding to Planned Parenthood has gotten through the House of Representatives thanks to the combination of zealots, hooligans, and assholes who rule there. It's not that Planned Parenthood uses any federal funds for abortionizing fetuses. No, that's banned. But, you know, if a single red federal cent is used to clean the windows of the clinic, it's pretty much the same thing as stabbing the baby Jesus in his little heart. The problem, though, is the mean, mean Senate with its Democrat majority. And, as the FRC tells us, "But it will require a miracle for the U.S. Senate and President Obama to agree to it!" How to get that miracle? Pray, motherfuckers. What the fuck did you think you were gonna do?
Don't you get it? "Planned Parenthood's activities are an affront to our faith, our understanding of what is right and wrong, the dignity of every human being -- born and unborn, Biblical morality as it applies to human sexuality, our God-given parental rights and the sacred jurisdiction and integrity of every family and its God-given responsibility to protect its young, and much, much more." Fuck, yeah, when it's not spending 3% of its time just killing the shit out of babies, Planned Parenthood's busy smashing titties and swabbing cervixes and preventing or treating God's curse of VD and stopping fetuses from even being conceived, which seems strange, since more pregnancies means they get to kill the shit out of more babies.
So pray we must. Luckily, since we're too stupid to come up with prayers on our own, the SDPT is given the words: "Raise up an army of praying believers through whom You can pull down the spiritual strongholds and end taxpayer subsidies for this death-dealing industry." Do your prayers have the phrase "taxpayer subsidy" in it? No? Then fuck your religion, you goddamn heretic. You probably want women to have "reproductive freedom" and other satanic things. God is weeping, weeping, you fuckers, because women can still "choose" in this country, even if they're raped teenagers.
Yeah, the religious right is doubling down on the abortion bullshit, man. All across the nation, there's some kind of fucktarded competition over which state can come up with the craziest new law, from legalizing the murder of abortion providers to making women have to prove that their miscarriages were not induced (for which Jill Filipovic has the awesomest response).
None of it will pass (although who knows anymore, especially about the Planned Parenthood funding). But the Family Research Council and the abortion mullahs in Congress and state legislatures are going to keep their extremist legions happy by fighting the culture war on the bodies of women.
We proud members of the nutzoid conservative Family Research Council's Super-Duper Prayer Team are often called upon to squat and squeeze out a prayer loaf in the most extreme circumstances. The Rude Pundit joined the Super-Duper Prayer Team a few years ago under a nom de rude, and every week he receives an email with his prayicide orders. Generally, it's about gays and abortion. And this week is no exception except that it's exceptionally important.
See, a budget amendment denying federal funding to Planned Parenthood has gotten through the House of Representatives thanks to the combination of zealots, hooligans, and assholes who rule there. It's not that Planned Parenthood uses any federal funds for abortionizing fetuses. No, that's banned. But, you know, if a single red federal cent is used to clean the windows of the clinic, it's pretty much the same thing as stabbing the baby Jesus in his little heart. The problem, though, is the mean, mean Senate with its Democrat majority. And, as the FRC tells us, "But it will require a miracle for the U.S. Senate and President Obama to agree to it!" How to get that miracle? Pray, motherfuckers. What the fuck did you think you were gonna do?
Don't you get it? "Planned Parenthood's activities are an affront to our faith, our understanding of what is right and wrong, the dignity of every human being -- born and unborn, Biblical morality as it applies to human sexuality, our God-given parental rights and the sacred jurisdiction and integrity of every family and its God-given responsibility to protect its young, and much, much more." Fuck, yeah, when it's not spending 3% of its time just killing the shit out of babies, Planned Parenthood's busy smashing titties and swabbing cervixes and preventing or treating God's curse of VD and stopping fetuses from even being conceived, which seems strange, since more pregnancies means they get to kill the shit out of more babies.
So pray we must. Luckily, since we're too stupid to come up with prayers on our own, the SDPT is given the words: "Raise up an army of praying believers through whom You can pull down the spiritual strongholds and end taxpayer subsidies for this death-dealing industry." Do your prayers have the phrase "taxpayer subsidy" in it? No? Then fuck your religion, you goddamn heretic. You probably want women to have "reproductive freedom" and other satanic things. God is weeping, weeping, you fuckers, because women can still "choose" in this country, even if they're raped teenagers.
Yeah, the religious right is doubling down on the abortion bullshit, man. All across the nation, there's some kind of fucktarded competition over which state can come up with the craziest new law, from legalizing the murder of abortion providers to making women have to prove that their miscarriages were not induced (for which Jill Filipovic has the awesomest response).
None of it will pass (although who knows anymore, especially about the Planned Parenthood funding). But the Family Research Council and the abortion mullahs in Congress and state legislatures are going to keep their extremist legions happy by fighting the culture war on the bodies of women.
2/24/2011
Note to Republican Governors: Pissing Off the Unions Is Never a Good Idea:
Here's a little recent history lesson for the day: Back in 2005, the newly-elected governor of Indiana, Mitch Daniels, on his second day in office, canceled all union contracts by executive order, ending collective bargaining rights for two-thirds of state workers, many of whom earned less than $30,000 a year. Some of those contracts were supposed to be in effect until 2007. At the time, Daniels said that union contracts were not acceptable at a time when the state faced a $1.5 billion deficit.
One would think that, like in a village where a noble knight defeated a terrible dragon, all would be well in Indiana once this workers' right was eliminated, for, indeed, Daniels said it would make the state whole. Yet here we are, in 2011, and, oh, wait, Indiana has a $1.6 billion deficit. And now Daniels wants to limit collective bargaining rights for teachers. He had wanted to turn Indiana into a "right-to-work" state, effectively killing unionization, to close the budget gap, but when Democrats in the legislature went to Illinois to stop the vote, Daniels backed down.
In 2004, Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher, and, in 2005, in his first act as Missouri governor, Matt Blunt both issued executive orders rescinding collective bargaining rights, which had been granted by previous administrations through such orders. Easy come, easy go. Blunt was at least, you know, blunt about it, saying that he didn't think state workers should have to pay dues. He didn't say it was a cure for the budget woes. He just didn't think state workers should be in unions. Would that such honesty was part of the discussion now.
Of course, what Daniels and Wisconsin Governor Scott "Eyes of a Porn Booth Masturbator" Walker and Ohio Governor John "This Is Easier Than Putting Up with O'Reilly" Kasich face now are legislative efforts to strip workers of rights. There was nothing to protest before. The executive orders were issued and unions could go fuck themselves. But, goddamn democracy, there's actually a process and rules in place. So now all three states have to deal with thousands of pissed off union workers and sympathizers who think it's bullshit that after the stupidity of massive tax cuts in the last few years (done by Democrats and Republicans) that Republicans would have the balls to suggest that budget crises have been caused not just by union contracts, but by the existence of public sector unions.
You can leave it to the turd-that-walks, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, to jiggle his jowls in the most offensive, idiotic way possible. On MSNBC, Christie said, "[T]he unions are trying to break the middle class in New Jersey." Which, if you know anything at all about the history of the nation, is a statement so crassly ass-backwards and calculatedly inflammatory that a just God would have set starving bears loose on Christie. But, oh, gee, it's darling Chris Christie. He doesn't lie. He just speaks harsh truths we all need to hear. Run that pile of shit for president.
Speaking of, it's way, way past time for President Obama to stop being such a pussy about this battle. He doesn't have to specifically address the concerns of each state (although he should). But howzabout a clear but general statement on support for collective bargaining rights, huh? Would that be so fucking hard? Or is the White House too worried that Hannity will get pissy about it? Or that it would focus attention on the fact that the White House froze the pay for federal workers?
Here's a little recent history lesson for the day: Back in 2005, the newly-elected governor of Indiana, Mitch Daniels, on his second day in office, canceled all union contracts by executive order, ending collective bargaining rights for two-thirds of state workers, many of whom earned less than $30,000 a year. Some of those contracts were supposed to be in effect until 2007. At the time, Daniels said that union contracts were not acceptable at a time when the state faced a $1.5 billion deficit.
One would think that, like in a village where a noble knight defeated a terrible dragon, all would be well in Indiana once this workers' right was eliminated, for, indeed, Daniels said it would make the state whole. Yet here we are, in 2011, and, oh, wait, Indiana has a $1.6 billion deficit. And now Daniels wants to limit collective bargaining rights for teachers. He had wanted to turn Indiana into a "right-to-work" state, effectively killing unionization, to close the budget gap, but when Democrats in the legislature went to Illinois to stop the vote, Daniels backed down.
In 2004, Kentucky Governor Ernie Fletcher, and, in 2005, in his first act as Missouri governor, Matt Blunt both issued executive orders rescinding collective bargaining rights, which had been granted by previous administrations through such orders. Easy come, easy go. Blunt was at least, you know, blunt about it, saying that he didn't think state workers should have to pay dues. He didn't say it was a cure for the budget woes. He just didn't think state workers should be in unions. Would that such honesty was part of the discussion now.
Of course, what Daniels and Wisconsin Governor Scott "Eyes of a Porn Booth Masturbator" Walker and Ohio Governor John "This Is Easier Than Putting Up with O'Reilly" Kasich face now are legislative efforts to strip workers of rights. There was nothing to protest before. The executive orders were issued and unions could go fuck themselves. But, goddamn democracy, there's actually a process and rules in place. So now all three states have to deal with thousands of pissed off union workers and sympathizers who think it's bullshit that after the stupidity of massive tax cuts in the last few years (done by Democrats and Republicans) that Republicans would have the balls to suggest that budget crises have been caused not just by union contracts, but by the existence of public sector unions.
You can leave it to the turd-that-walks, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, to jiggle his jowls in the most offensive, idiotic way possible. On MSNBC, Christie said, "[T]he unions are trying to break the middle class in New Jersey." Which, if you know anything at all about the history of the nation, is a statement so crassly ass-backwards and calculatedly inflammatory that a just God would have set starving bears loose on Christie. But, oh, gee, it's darling Chris Christie. He doesn't lie. He just speaks harsh truths we all need to hear. Run that pile of shit for president.
Speaking of, it's way, way past time for President Obama to stop being such a pussy about this battle. He doesn't have to specifically address the concerns of each state (although he should). But howzabout a clear but general statement on support for collective bargaining rights, huh? Would that be so fucking hard? Or is the White House too worried that Hannity will get pissy about it? Or that it would focus attention on the fact that the White House froze the pay for federal workers?
2/23/2011
In Brief: Scott Walker Is America's Asshole:
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker's eyes have the glazed over look of a man who just jacked off to a Facebook album of your niece's fifth birthday party. Actually, that's not accurate because that assumes that Walker would try to hide his proclivities. Indeed, Walker seems more like the kind of guy who'd walk into that party with a Koch Industries dildo in his ass and tell everyone to watch while he yanked it to the musical chairs songs. God help the little girl who is in the last chair. For what else do you say about a governor whose official website has a press release titled "Walker Calls Democrat Legislators Back Into State." You got that? Not "Democratic," but the politicized, insulting "Democrat" as adjective. It's like getting a note from your boss on company stationery that calls you a "cocksucker."
In his pathetic "fireside chat" last night, Walker lied again and again to the people of his state. Not only did he not acknowledge that unions have agreed to the increases in contributions to benefit (because, if he did so, he'd have to say that the "bargaining" part of collective bargaining actually works), not only did he not mention the tax cuts he got in January, but he blamed the continuing uprising on "more and more protesters [who] come in from Nevada, Chicago and elsewhere." Why the fuck would he mention Nevada? To invoke Harry Reid? And Chicago? Well, that place is just filthy with Obama. What Walker is doing is degrading the real and actual thousands upon thousands of Wisconsinites who are marching and chanting and attempting to save their rights that they've had for half a century.
But, seriously, dude? If you're gonna start blaming outside agitators, are you gonna hire African mercenaries to fire on the crowds?
The nicest touch, though, was when Walker said he was going to start laying off state workers by the thousands if Democratic senators don't come back and let the Assembly rubber stamp his destruction of unions. "Failure to act on this budget repair bill means (at least) 15 hundred state employees will be laid off before the end of June," he threatened. "If there is no agreement by July 1st, another 5-6 thousand state workers -- as well as 5-6 thousand local government employees would be also laid off. But, there is a way to avoid these layoffs and other cuts. The 14 State Senators who are staying outside of Wisconsin as we speak can come home and do their job." He may as well have said that he's gonna start tossing the bodies of his hostages out of the state house.
Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker's eyes have the glazed over look of a man who just jacked off to a Facebook album of your niece's fifth birthday party. Actually, that's not accurate because that assumes that Walker would try to hide his proclivities. Indeed, Walker seems more like the kind of guy who'd walk into that party with a Koch Industries dildo in his ass and tell everyone to watch while he yanked it to the musical chairs songs. God help the little girl who is in the last chair. For what else do you say about a governor whose official website has a press release titled "Walker Calls Democrat Legislators Back Into State." You got that? Not "Democratic," but the politicized, insulting "Democrat" as adjective. It's like getting a note from your boss on company stationery that calls you a "cocksucker."
In his pathetic "fireside chat" last night, Walker lied again and again to the people of his state. Not only did he not acknowledge that unions have agreed to the increases in contributions to benefit (because, if he did so, he'd have to say that the "bargaining" part of collective bargaining actually works), not only did he not mention the tax cuts he got in January, but he blamed the continuing uprising on "more and more protesters [who] come in from Nevada, Chicago and elsewhere." Why the fuck would he mention Nevada? To invoke Harry Reid? And Chicago? Well, that place is just filthy with Obama. What Walker is doing is degrading the real and actual thousands upon thousands of Wisconsinites who are marching and chanting and attempting to save their rights that they've had for half a century.
But, seriously, dude? If you're gonna start blaming outside agitators, are you gonna hire African mercenaries to fire on the crowds?
The nicest touch, though, was when Walker said he was going to start laying off state workers by the thousands if Democratic senators don't come back and let the Assembly rubber stamp his destruction of unions. "Failure to act on this budget repair bill means (at least) 15 hundred state employees will be laid off before the end of June," he threatened. "If there is no agreement by July 1st, another 5-6 thousand state workers -- as well as 5-6 thousand local government employees would be also laid off. But, there is a way to avoid these layoffs and other cuts. The 14 State Senators who are staying outside of Wisconsin as we speak can come home and do their job." He may as well have said that he's gonna start tossing the bodies of his hostages out of the state house.
2/22/2011
A Few Lessons Learned Regarding Wisconsin:
1. Remember: elections have consequences, as long as it's a conservative who is elected. Senate Republicans in Washington did not give a flea's fart about the consequences of the 2008 elections in blocking Barack Obama's agenda that he campaigned on and won with. And for many on the right, that was just politics. But in Wisconsin? It's merely, "Well, fuckers, you elected him. Now, he gets to do what he wants."
Except for one thing: not once in his campaign did Scott Walker mention that he was even considering getting rid of collective bargaining rights for public employees. Yeah, that little detail of his "budget-cutting plan" was left out of his campaign website, for instance. And a Nexis search of "Scott Walker" and "collective bargaining" for any time before his inauguration yields only this from June 18, 2010: Questions from a Wisconsin Democratic Party press release about Walker's plan to deal with public employee pensions: "Since this gimmick will require agreement through collective bargaining, you can't guarantee any of these savings, can you? Or are you proposing the elimination of collective bargaining and wouldn't that prompt costly lawsuits?" The Rude Pundit reads that as sarcasm, as if it's too ludicrous to consider, ha-ha.
2. Remember: "compromise" means that you ask nicely if Republicans can use a condom when they fuck you in the ass and then Republicans call you "whore," fuck you without one, and demand that you say you love their cocks. The Democratic Senators in Wisconsin, as well as the unions involved in the protests, have stated, flat-out, that they will agree to the pay cut that Walker wants. The entire debate now is over collective bargaining rights. In other words, Walker will not compromise. Period. And has threatened to start laying off workers.
You got that? Scott Walker would rather kick people out of their jobs than allow unions to be able to negotiate. As Rachel Maddow and other have pointed out, this is not about fiscal responsibility. It's about a naked power grab to gut one of the only means by which citizens have a voice.
3. Remember: if the majority Democratic Congress and the Democratic president are protested by the Tea Party, that's just patriots expressing the will of the people against a tyrannical government. However, if the majority Republican assembly in Wisconsin is protested by tens of thousands of workers, that's the slippery slope to anarchy.
4. Remember: if Republicans in the Senate abuse the rules that run their house by filbustering or putting individual holds on nearly every single bill or nomination from the House or the White House, refusing to even allow them to be considered, even if it affects the actual functioning of the nation, that's just brave men and women standing in the way of Democrats enslaving the American people. But if Democrats in Wisconsin deny the Assembly a quorum by leaving the state, that's just arrogant politicians refusing to do their jobs.
5. Remember, though: the non-public unions still have the right to go on strike, motherfuckers. You haven't taken that away yet.
1. Remember: elections have consequences, as long as it's a conservative who is elected. Senate Republicans in Washington did not give a flea's fart about the consequences of the 2008 elections in blocking Barack Obama's agenda that he campaigned on and won with. And for many on the right, that was just politics. But in Wisconsin? It's merely, "Well, fuckers, you elected him. Now, he gets to do what he wants."
Except for one thing: not once in his campaign did Scott Walker mention that he was even considering getting rid of collective bargaining rights for public employees. Yeah, that little detail of his "budget-cutting plan" was left out of his campaign website, for instance. And a Nexis search of "Scott Walker" and "collective bargaining" for any time before his inauguration yields only this from June 18, 2010: Questions from a Wisconsin Democratic Party press release about Walker's plan to deal with public employee pensions: "Since this gimmick will require agreement through collective bargaining, you can't guarantee any of these savings, can you? Or are you proposing the elimination of collective bargaining and wouldn't that prompt costly lawsuits?" The Rude Pundit reads that as sarcasm, as if it's too ludicrous to consider, ha-ha.
2. Remember: "compromise" means that you ask nicely if Republicans can use a condom when they fuck you in the ass and then Republicans call you "whore," fuck you without one, and demand that you say you love their cocks. The Democratic Senators in Wisconsin, as well as the unions involved in the protests, have stated, flat-out, that they will agree to the pay cut that Walker wants. The entire debate now is over collective bargaining rights. In other words, Walker will not compromise. Period. And has threatened to start laying off workers.
You got that? Scott Walker would rather kick people out of their jobs than allow unions to be able to negotiate. As Rachel Maddow and other have pointed out, this is not about fiscal responsibility. It's about a naked power grab to gut one of the only means by which citizens have a voice.
3. Remember: if the majority Democratic Congress and the Democratic president are protested by the Tea Party, that's just patriots expressing the will of the people against a tyrannical government. However, if the majority Republican assembly in Wisconsin is protested by tens of thousands of workers, that's the slippery slope to anarchy.
4. Remember: if Republicans in the Senate abuse the rules that run their house by filbustering or putting individual holds on nearly every single bill or nomination from the House or the White House, refusing to even allow them to be considered, even if it affects the actual functioning of the nation, that's just brave men and women standing in the way of Democrats enslaving the American people. But if Democrats in Wisconsin deny the Assembly a quorum by leaving the state, that's just arrogant politicians refusing to do their jobs.
5. Remember, though: the non-public unions still have the right to go on strike, motherfuckers. You haven't taken that away yet.
2/21/2011
Abraham Lincoln Would Fuck Up Your Conservative Economic Ideology:
Just a quick one before taking a personal day: three quotes from the greatest great great president who's not Ronald Reagan (duh), since everyone's a-pondering what our forefathers and mothers might think of the Wisconsin uprising. These are from Abraham Lincoln, noted quorum-stopper and occasional Republican (whenever the GOP needs his corpse, they dig it up and make it dance, but otherwise, they just let him rot):
1. "I am glad to know that there is a system of labor where the laborer can strike if he wants to! I would to God that such a system prevailed all over the world." - From a speech on March 5, 1860 in Hartford, Connecticut, regarding a shoemaker's strike (which, believe it or not, involved 20,000 shoemakers who were not, apparently, elves).
2. "Inasmuch as most good things are produced by labor, it follows that all such things of right belong to those whose labor has produced them. But it has so happened, in all ages of the world, that some have labored, and others have without labor enjoyed a large proportion of the fruits. This is wrong, and should not continue. To secure to each laborer the whole product of his labor, or as nearly as possible, is a worthy object of any good government." - From his notes about tariff policy, scribbled down on December 1, 1847.
3. "Labor is prior to and independent of capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration. Capital has its rights, which are as worthy of protection as any other rights. Nor is it denied that there is, and probably always will be, a relation between labor and capital producing mutual benefits." - From his 1861 State of the Union address, decrying "the effort to place capital on an equal footing with, if not above, labor in the structure of government."
Hey, patriots, on this Presidents' Day, suck on those stovepipe hats.
Just a quick one before taking a personal day: three quotes from the greatest great great president who's not Ronald Reagan (duh), since everyone's a-pondering what our forefathers and mothers might think of the Wisconsin uprising. These are from Abraham Lincoln, noted quorum-stopper and occasional Republican (whenever the GOP needs his corpse, they dig it up and make it dance, but otherwise, they just let him rot):
1. "I am glad to know that there is a system of labor where the laborer can strike if he wants to! I would to God that such a system prevailed all over the world." - From a speech on March 5, 1860 in Hartford, Connecticut, regarding a shoemaker's strike (which, believe it or not, involved 20,000 shoemakers who were not, apparently, elves).
2. "Inasmuch as most good things are produced by labor, it follows that all such things of right belong to those whose labor has produced them. But it has so happened, in all ages of the world, that some have labored, and others have without labor enjoyed a large proportion of the fruits. This is wrong, and should not continue. To secure to each laborer the whole product of his labor, or as nearly as possible, is a worthy object of any good government." - From his notes about tariff policy, scribbled down on December 1, 1847.
3. "Labor is prior to and independent of capital. Capital is only the fruit of labor, and could never have existed if labor had not first existed. Labor is the superior of capital, and deserves much the higher consideration. Capital has its rights, which are as worthy of protection as any other rights. Nor is it denied that there is, and probably always will be, a relation between labor and capital producing mutual benefits." - From his 1861 State of the Union address, decrying "the effort to place capital on an equal footing with, if not above, labor in the structure of government."
Hey, patriots, on this Presidents' Day, suck on those stovepipe hats.
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