Hey, Democrats: It's Okay to Be Outraged That a Rapist Might Have Committed More Rapes

You need to start from one assertion: Donald Trump is a rapist. A jury said it was more likely than not that he sexually assaulted E. Jean Carroll, and the judge in the case made it clear that it's only a quirk in New York State law that prevented the jury from using the r-word. In the way any person would understand "rape," it was rape. And that makes Donald Trump a rapist. When you start by saying that, everything else becomes so much easier to understand. 

What I mean is that it would honestly be surprising if Trump wasn't one of the "clients" of child sex trafficker Jeffrey Epstein. I'm not going to review the accumulation of accusations, confessions, and video evidence that show just what a sleazy, grabby, rapey shitheel Trump was and is. You can check all that out pretty easily and you likely have heard about or seen much of it. 

The fact that Democrats don't constantly highlight that Trump is a rapist is political and moral malpractice. It was barely mentioned in the 2024 election, and it should have been the beginning of any conversation about Trump. Now, Democrats should react to any interaction with Trump in the way any non-rapist would react to being in the same room with a known rapist. They should treat Republican members of Congress like you would treat someone who is covering up for a rapist. If you say that norms or traditions don't allow you to act that way, then you have no understanding that a norm only works if everyone involved is adhering to it. Otherwise, you're just a sucker. And whatever bullshit social contract made Democrats the standard bearers of eternal comity, that shit was broken when Republicans made a rapist their leader and got him elected president again. 

One of the things that has bugged the hell out of me around the whole Epstein files affair/scandal/cover-up is that too few people are behaving like what's at stake here is whether or not the rapist president committed more rapes, whether he raped children, and whether he provided aid and comfort to the scuzzy fuck who procured the girls for Trump and others to rape. At the very least, it's worth knowing if Trump was aware of the awful shit that Jeffrey Epstein was doing and didn't tell anyone. Trump said that they had a falling out over some cheap property they were each trying to buy in Palm Beach, FL, in 2004 and never spoke again. We know that Epstein was being a fucking monster during the time that he and Trump were friends. We know that Epstein committed multiple rapes in his Florida mansion and that Trump knew about Epstein's fondness for women "on the younger side." But, like I said, that's a rabbit hole you can go down. I wanna talk the politics of this moment.

Republicans have taken the position that Trump didn't rape Carroll, didn't rape or assault any of the women who have accused him, and didn't rape girls provided by Epstein. That is, frankly, an objectively repulsive position, especially because, again, a judge and jury declared Trump a rapist in the civil suit and, just last month, a federal appeals court upheld the verdict. The GOP has decided that its everyone else's problem and we all just have to deal with it when it comes to there being a rapist leading us.

To a large extent, until recently, Democrats have simply accepted that framing and, as usual, let the GOP dictate the rhetorical parameters and the terms of doing business in DC. The Epstein files fuck-up by Trump gives Democrats a chance to reframe things and present them in the way they should have been presented all along: the president is a rapist who might have committed more rapes, including the rapes of children. If you don't want all the facts to come out about it, then you are covering up for a rapist. And what the fuck is wrong with you if you do that, Mike Johnson? What the fuck are you so worried about? Hammer them constantly about their complicity with a rapist. The Democrats' revulsion should be visceral, visible, and intense. Let voters know that, at long last, there is some shit you will not eat. Trump's closeness to Epstein is their problem and they have to figure out how to deal with it. Some Democrats are getting on board with this strategy, but they need to go harder. On an interview show, you can say when asked about anything, "Well, the president is a rapist, and we always need to start with that."

To any Democrats who think that this is somehow not the issue that voters care about, that voters want "kitchen table" issues discussed going into the midterms, that it's a distraction, as former Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi stupidly said last week, I'd say give me a fucking break. This is a righteous, necessary battle. There are real people, victims, here, women whose lives were fucked up by the actions of these rapists, including the rapist president. It's as fucking kitchen table as it gets in that it's the kind of thing that people actually talk about around the kitchen table. You shout out to Americans that the vile Attorney General had 1000 FBI agents scouring the Epstein files for any mention of Trump and that shit will go viral because what the fucking fuck. (Odious blow-up doll Pam Bondi is scrambling, and it's kind of delicious.)

And anyone who says that Democrats don't want the Epstein stuff out there because it might implicate Democrats like Bill Clinton doesn't fucking understand Democrats. We have no problem tossing someone to the wolves. Ask Anthony Weiner. Ask Andrew Cuomo. Ask Al Franken. We're ruthless when it comes to wrongdoing being revealed. You mean if we sacrifice Bill Clinton, we might get rid of Trump? Fuck, yeah, that's a fair trade. 

The corporate media is already declaring that Trump has surfed his way through this wave of scandal and come out dry on the other side again. But it sure doesn't seem that way, with Tucker Carlson breaking with Trump, with MAGA drones at each other's throats (and some saying others have "Epstein Derangement Syndrome," which, yeah, get a new fucking phrase, assholes), with Bondi wanting to question imprisoned Epstein associate Ghislaine Maxwell, maybe even offering a pardon if she can bail Trump out by saying he was never involved. And Trump himself is throwing every fucking piece of red meat to the slavering MAGA hordes to try to get them off his scene. The latest is arresting Barack Obama for completely made-up bullshit about how Russia helped Trump win in 2016. 

In the end, like at the start, Trump is a rapist. Everything flows from there. I think that the best case scenario is that Trump’s a rapist who covered up for other rapists. The worst case scenario is horrific. Democrats should be acting like it's the worst case and what they do and say should reflect the disgust and outrage they should have. 

The MAGA Meltdown Over Jeffrey Epstein Is the Stupid Climax They Deserve: Bongino Agonistes

In the heady days before he was nominated to be the deputy to FBI Director Kash Patel, who always looks like someone just told him he's got flesh-eating bacteria on his taint, bald, Democrat-despising meatloaf Dan Bongino was telling his podcast audience how the walls hiding those who were protecting the files of monstrous pedophile and sex trafficker and rich Jeffrey Epstein were going to come tumbling down when Donald Trump started huffing and puffing on them. 

"The Jeffrey Epstein case is back," he frothed spittily on his Rumble show (Rumble, if you don't know, is the right-wing jerk-off's live streaming service of choice) on February 5 of this year, when Trump was already back in office. He then gleefully ranted something about Barack Obama's "fixer" (everyone is always given some kind of mob-related title): "Let me just give you a little litany and rundown of everything Obama's fixer was involved in fixing and what the hell was she trying to fix with the Jeffrey Epstein scandal? Are there some high level Democrats like the Clintons, who may have needed some stuff to go away with this?" You might look at that and think, "The fuck is this maniac going on about?" And that just means you aren't filling up your poor, overstimulated brain with the worms from the fevered swamp of nutzoid conspiracies, where everyone who opposes Donald Trump is fucking children and some of them are murdering them and drinking their blood and I wish I were making that up but you have to understand how many stupid and crazy people there are in this country right now.

Unlike grifters like, well, everyone on Fox "news," Bongino was a true believer in the Epstein conspiracies. He believed that Epstein was murdered in prison, and he believed in the list of clients Epstein (or his scum-sucking co-trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell) kept and that it contains Bill Clinton, Obama, and an array of "Deep State" players who are trying to bring down his one god, Trump, who he was so fucking sure was going to blow this whole thing sky high and bring hellfire down on the sinners. 

Just last year, on September 9, 2024, Bongino repeatedly orgasmed on the air and into his pants describing what Trump said in an interview with some fucking tech bro professor. In that conversation, after Trump insists twice that he never went to Epstein's rape island, Fridman says, "It's just very strange for a lot of people, that the list of clients that went to the island has not been made public." Trump responds, "It's very interesting, isn't it? It probably will be, by the way, probably." And then he says he'll release the list in the weirdest fucking way possible: "I'd be inclined to do the Epstein. I'd have no problem with it." He keeps insisting he isn't involved in a way that makes you think he's totally involved. But this isn't about Trump. It's about Bongino, and this segment is the New Testament.

This is the fucking angel heralding the arrival of Orange Jesus for Bongino. "People are gonna lose their minds if the Epstein client list is revealed," he says, not even trying to hide his elation. A few minutes later, he goes all in on the list: "Folks, the Epstein client list is a huge deal because it speaks to an enormous problem we have in this, in this country. It is that there is a connected class of insiders that feel that they can get away with anything because they can...But the reason the Epstein client list being revealed is so important is because I want you to understand that there is a class of beknighted folks who beknighted themselves in a little round table who are not subjected to the same rules you are...Good folks, you're gonna see a lot of names on that. The Epstein client list, I believe, based on what I've heard from sources and the story I just told you, basically it's gonna rock the political world. There's a reason they're hiding it." And, yes, goddamn, Trump is gonna show it to the world.

If you go through transcripts of Bongino's show, a task I damned myself with, you will see Epstein brought up constantly. Bongino repeats, many times, a story he swears he heard from a valid source, no, really, about Bill Clinton going to the back of Epstein's plane with "young girls." He had an episode in January 2024 with the title "The Epstein Files Reveal the Shocking Truth." The Epstein files, list, coverup, and Trump bringing everyone to justice were a driving force for Bongino, who, it should be said, is a fucking moron, but the motherfucker believed with all his heart.

So imagine how Bongino must have felt when the Department of Justice and the FBI, the government entity he is deputy director of, released a statement about its investigation into their files on Epstein and announced, "This systematic review revealed no incriminating 'client list.'" And I gotta tell ya: thinking about Bongino watching his entire world crumble in front of him, sledgehammered by people he thought were his allies, like Patel and our demigorgon of an Attorney General, Pam Bondi, that shit just makes me laugh. He had to deal with the fact that all these supposed friends who, like him, like Trump, like nausea personified, JD Vance, all who said that the list was real, who claimed they had seen the list, were either lying then or lying now. Bongino had already had the soul-wrecking moment of saying that Epstein killed himself, according to Patel's FBI. Now this. Fuck. I wish someone had recorded it because it would be my new porn.

Imagine it. Imagine when he understood like the rest of us that there are only 2 possibilities for saying there's no list: that there was never a list and he was played and played hard, like everyone in the MAGA movement has been, that he's a rube like the rest of them. Or that his beacon, his one true love, his idol, and his surrogate father Donald Trump is on the list, that Trump fucked kids, and so that list must be disappeared like so many migrants in South Sudan. And that Patel, of all the goddamn people, is good with this.

So he lost his shit. He reportedly blew up in meeting with Bondi and Trump Chief of Staff Susie Wiles and is considering resigning. He didn't show up for work on Friday. Trump claims he still is working for the FBI, but no statement has come from him.

And now Bongino, in a job he isn't remotely qualified for, has to face this reality: He can leave and return to the conspiracy-mongering, with an audience of pissed off, betrayed, potentially ex-MAGA freaks (but still freaks), awaiting a new leader. Or he can stay and, oh, fuck, this is just (chef's kiss) perfect, become part of the loathed Deep State.

This meltdown is everything Bongino deserves. 

The Republican Budget Bill Is Going to Fuck Us Forever

It's going to take months, if not years, to figure out how much President for Life Donald Trump and his bitch Congress have fucked us with the Bullshit Bastard Bill. Top of the list is, of course, the vast expansion of Immigration and Customs Enforcement, filled with pissy, armed incels kidnapping people and guarding concentration camps. Some of the worst shit, like the Medicaid work requirements that are so dumb and unnecessary that it will destroy the program, won't take effect until 2027, after the midterm elections because, you know, Republicans count on people not giving a shit until they can't get cancer treatment. While that will lead to unnecessary loss of life, it is something that can be restored, although it'll cause some long-term damage to the health care system of the country, especially in rural areas. 

The Barfy Bollocks Bill also contains some things that are pretty much guaranteed to permanently scar our futures on the only planet we have and thus will fuck us forever. We will never escape the effects of the depraved defunding of any effort at all to mitigate the climate crisis. Trump and the savage fucknuts in the House and Senate are not just behaving as if every other day doesn't bring another climate catastrophe. They are actively making it worse, as sure as the methane from Trump's Big Mac farts do. 

Much of the damage is done by cutting the funding that had been appropriated under President Joe Biden, in an action called "rescission." And many items in the bill are just rescissions that seem benign until you dive into the details a bit.

So, for instance, the bill calls for "Rescission of amounts for forestry," which says, "The unobligated balances of amounts appropriated [in Biden's Inflation Reduction Act of 2022] are rescinded," with the sections listed. If you go to the IRA and look at that section, you can see exactly what Trump and the little bitches are rescinding. It includes "$50,000,000 for the protection of old-growth forests on National Forest System land," as well as $400 million in grants to help farmers and others mitigate the risk of fires and $100 million in administrative costs. Why is this money still available? Because Biden's bill said the funds are "to remain available until September 30, 2031" and so it could be pulled. Biden should have just flooded the country with the funding, but now it's gone.

In this abomination of a bill, when you get to Title VI: Committee on Environment and Public Works, you see this shit: 

Take just one of those: "Rescission of funding to address air pollution." That says, "The unobligated balances of amounts made available to carry out section 60401 of Public Law 117–169 (136 Stat. 2079) are rescinded." Public Law 117-169 is the IRA. Section 60401 appropriated $32.5 million for "to support data collection efforts relating to (A) disproportionate negative environmental harms and climate impacts; and (B) cumulative impacts of pollution and temperature rise." Also, it would "establish, expand, and maintain efforts to track disproportionate burdens and cumulative impacts and provide academic and workforce support for analytics and informatics infrastructure and data collection systems." And it would make sure that data is available to members of the communities affected. But that is too woke because it acknowledges that pollution does cause bad shit to happen. However, if we pretend it doesn't, then, I guess, magically it won't. That always works out well. Every single thing in that list is something that was trying to unfuck us and give the planet a future. But I guess if I were a cruel, unhealthy asshole who has been living on borrowed time for at least five years, I wouldn't give a shit, either.

It just goes on, all these little details in the bill that we won't even understand until we wake up in a scorched or flooded hellscape, but at least we won't be wondering how this happened. 

Some of it is just confoundingly dickish. Like, shit that was meant to create jobs, which Trump could totally have taken credit for, was cut. "Section 50142 of Public Law 117–169," the Brutal Bunghole Bill says, "is repealed and the unobligated balance of amounts made available under that section is rescinded." That's the section of the IRA for Advanced Technology Vehicle Manufacturing, including, "funds appropriated by this section may be used for the costs of providing direct loans for reequipping, expanding, or establishing a manufacturing facility in the United States to produce, or for engineering integration performed in the United States of, advanced technology vehicles." Why was it just shitcanned? Because the funds can be used "only if such advanced technology vehicles emit, under any possible operational mode or condition, low or zero exhaust emissions of greenhouse gases."

See? By wholesale repealing it, you can make the libs cry, give a gift to auto manufacturers, and ruin the earth. Was anything added in the bill to encourage advanced technology vehicle manufacturing? Fuck you. You know it wasn't because those are electric vehicles and only pussies drive things that don't burn fresh, tasty fossil fuel.

And it just keeps going. Here's another section:

That's all under a header "Termination of Green New Deal subsidies." Except the Green New Deal was never passed. So Republicans are just pretending it was to get the blood of the ignorant all angered up, probably at AOC. Most of what's here just moves the date funds must be spent from 2032 to September of this year, thus disincentivizing the extra expense of some of these efforts at clean energy for the home and vehicle. 

And here's the deal: It would be one thing if they were doing all this destructive shit and saying, "Well, that's how we're funding our terrorist police force." Then you could point to a reason and think, "Hey, it's a totally fucked-up and evil thing to do, but at least it makes some skewed logical sense." But the Bonkers Boneheaded Bill is such a boondoggle of debt due to tax cuts and cruel spending, to the tune of several trillion dollars added to the deficit, that all of the money in these efforts could have been left untouched and it wouldn't have mattered more than a tiny bit to the overall cost of the fucking thing. 

They're doing it because, like most evil motherfuckers, they just like doing evil shit. We made them feel bad about the climate crisis for a couple of years so now they're taking their revenge on everyone, especially generations yet to come.

We won't understand what harm this viperous, villainous Congress, vacant of anything approaching morality or empathy, has really done for a long time. There's so much fuckery in the details buried in the bill that it will all need to be parsed and interpreted and litigated. But one thing is for sure: they have fucked us. We need to get our spiked dildos of justice ready to fuck them back.