Completely Batshit Things from a Trump Speech That Won't Get as Much Coverage as Biden's Age

This week, everyone in the media apparently decided that Joe Biden is too old to be president again. One report from a Trump-appointed former US Attorney that has a few lines simping for MAGA cred by dissing Biden's memory for shit that happened years ago, and it's like we have to act like Biden's crumbling into dust before our eyes like a long-buried mummy who was touched before being preserved.  It's frankly fucked to watch the New York Times and CNN and other outlets climb over each other to try to out-dick one another on Biden's age. 

No shit he's old. We fucking know that. No shit that he's flubbed some names and dates. Biden's been doing that for decades. He's even joked about it before. And he's gonna continue to do it just like I'm going to sometimes call my dog by the name of the dog I had 20 years ago. Prove to me that his age has diminished his presidency. Fucking prove that to me and you'll have an argument to make saying that he should step away.

Meanwhile, the other candidate, Donald Trump, is an actual rapist (which can never be said enough) who bumblefucks through his speeches like a raging manatee flailing around on the shore and just about as articulate. Yesterday, he promised to refuse to live up to our treaty obligations to NATO and, in the rapiest language he could manage, said that, for countries who don't pay what he deems as a far amount to NATO, he'd "encourage" Russia "to do whatever the hell they want" to them. That's world war kind of shit talk. That's poking the bear in the nuts. And it is objectively worse than every single time Joe Biden has gotten a country wrong combined. 

I mean, have reporters just become so numb that they can't see how psychotic, incoherent, and dangerous Trump's speeches are? It's not just that he's promising to allow the execution of shoplifters. It's that he wants to use the military and law enforcement from red states to invade blue states to round up migrants into camps before deporting them. It's some dystopian fuckery of the rankest order, like the start of a civil war. And the rhetoric Trump uses about migrants is not just provocative. It's threatening. It's degrading and dehumanizing. And it's getting people hurt.

If you take any recent Trump speech, you can listen or watch (or, if you can't stand that and go into convulsions of shitting yourself in rage whenever you hear his lethargic, slurping voice, read the transcript) and there are dozens of things that, if ever hinted at by a Democrat, would bring howls of outrage.

Look at this bullshit from his performance on Friday prancing around at an NRA event in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania. It vacillates from vile to incoherent and back again. 

1. Let's start with a lie: "I love Pennsylvania. We ran twice. We won Pennsylvania twice. We won Pennsylvania twice. We did much better the second time than we did the first time." This is election denialism, sure, and we should never lose our outrage over his continued refusal to acknowledge the results of the 2020 election. He lost PA in 2020. He litigated it and begged for it to be overturned, but he fucking lost.

2. "Now more then we have ever taken are pouring into the country from countries that many of you have never even heard of. They are pouring into our country and an entire generation of young people could very well be decimated by something that could very well happen: World War III." You got that? First off, he assumes his MAGA hordes are too stupid to have heard of Ecuador. And then he takes the migrant "threat" to the furthest possible and most absurd degree.

3. Okay, this is just fucking weird. A total aside that has no context in the speech: "If you are a violent criminal today, if you kill people nothing happens. But if you are a religious person of a certain faith, you get persecuted. And I don't know what's going on with Catholics. But Catholics are getting treated very badly. What the hell is going on with Catholics? And yet we got 88% of the evangelical vote, but only 50% of the Catholic vote. We should get 110% of the Catholic vote. What are they doing to Catholics?" I mean, what the fucking fuck is this even?

4. Trump loves spinning out fantasy scenarios to degrade others. Here he starts out talking about where President Biden kept some documents, exaggerating for grotesque comic effect. Then watch where this goes: "They were all sitting underneath his beautiful Corvette and a very flimsy garage with one of those very cheap garage doors. You can cut it open with a scissor. 'Does anybody have a scissor? I want to get some classified documents. Let's cut it open.' It had no security or Secret Service. Certain members of the Biden family lived there. I wonder what they did with those very important documents. They had no Secret Service people because he wasn't present. Biden fought them all the way. I didn't. He fought them very hard and they never got what they wanted to get anyway. I even gave the DOJ and the FBI lunch at Mar-a-Lago. They say I didn't behave. I have them lunch. Have lunch at beautiful Mar-a-Lago...I guess they expected dinner, not lunch. I should have given them dinner." Between this and his anger at getting lunch for the E. Jean Carroll's lawyers when they were at Mar-a-Lago, Trump just comes across as the cheapest motherfucker ever. Or, you know, not a billionaire. 

5. The fetishism of objects or the concentration on looks is prominent throughout, but, mostly, why the fuck is he talking about the goddamn desk? "Very smart people surround the resolute desk. It's the most beautiful desk. When you are president, they allow you to take your desk--pick your desk. They have these unbelievable desks. It had a tremendous history of presidents behind it. He had the same desk. I think he took it because he likes me so much. He said, 'I want the same desk as President Trump had.'" I shit you not, this is not the only time in the speech he talks about desks. He has a whole thing about moving a desk outside to sign executive orders, in the middle of talking about where a desk is in the White House. You wanna talk about being old and out of it? This right here.

6. Another lie: "We are losing, in my opinion, 350,000 people a year to fentanyl. There is no war for the most part where you're going to lose that many soldiers. We are losing 350,000, I believe. They always say it's 100, 120. It's not. It's much more. It's getting worse, too." No, 350k Americans aren't dying every year from fentanyl. Not even close. But it's one of those times that he's making shit up and won't back down from the shit he's making up. 

7. "We got Mexico to send 21,000 soldiers to our border free of charge. I got them free. By the way, I used to say Mexico is going to pay for a big piece of the wall. They us so much more than that. They gave us free soldiers. You're not allowed to do that, they can't pay for our wall. There was a mechanism where they could give us soldiers." Putting aside that it was 15,000 troops (and not 21 or 28,000, as he often brays), it wasn't that Trump "used to say" that Mexico would pay for the border wall. It was one of the centerpieces of his 2016 campaign. So he's saying he was lying or ignorant when he made that promise.

8. I'm putting this one in here because it's a story Trump tells all the time (and that the Mexican government says is bullshit). The whole fake tale gets more and more elaborate. And, again, this is in the middle of a nearly 90 minute speech, and he's just fucking riffing: "I got Mexico, I said, 'You are going to have to pay for the soldiers free of charge.' They said, 'We are not doing that.' 'You have to.' Handsome guy, beautiful representative. He laughed and said, 'We are not giving you soldiers. Why the hell would we give you soldiers? We have been ripping off the United States for years. Why would we give them soldiers to protect their border?' A lot of bad people are coming through. So I said, 'You are giving it to us, 100%.' 'No, sir, I'm not giving it to you.' '100%. That you are giving it to me.' 'We are not giving it to you, sir.' 'You are giving it to us.' He goes, 'No way.' He goes, 'No way.' I go, 'Way.'" 

9. This quote starts with a lie. The migrants who pummeled two police officers were arrested. "They beat the hell out of two police officers. The DA said let them go, that's ok. But he goes after Trump. You have to be a violent criminal. If you are a violent criminal, you have no problem. Under Biden, millions of illegals are now pouring into our country. You have a 100 percent chance of a major terror attack in the not-too-distant future." You want forgetfulness? Earlier in the speech, Trump said, "We are really likely to face a 100 percent chance of a terrorist attack." 

9a. Another repetition. In the beginning of this endurance test of a speech, Trump said, "They come in from prisons all over the world, mental institutions all over the world. They are terrorists. By the millions." Then later, since the majority of his speech is ad-libbing (or making shit up), he says, "First time you are seeing migrant crime. These are tough people. Many of them come out of jails and mental institutions...These are not innocents. These are tough people and we are taking them by the millions. We are taking millions of people. Millions and millions."

9b. Since about 75% of Trump's ludicrously long meanders through the mushpile where a brain once presumably sat is about how much he just fucking hates immigrants (even though he's exploited the hell out of them as workers throughout his entire pathetic career), here's one more dip into the madness: "Did you ever notice they come off--everybody has a cell phone. They come in and get off a bus. There is only some nice person greeting them. I don't know who these people are. Did you ever notice? They have like these people. Nice women. Beautiful women. 'Hello, it is so nice to see you.' The guy looks at her like he's going to tear her apart. 'Hello, here is your cell phone. Here is your credit card. Would you like to stay today at the Waldorf-Astoria or would you like a Trump hotel?' No, it's crazy." Well, that's the most self-awareness I've seen from him right there at the end.

10. Let's end with this one, which starts out as praise for the now-missing Melania Trump for working on drug addiction issues and then seems to...well, have a read: "I had the First Lady on committees. A lot of socialites from New York, a lot of socialites from Philadelphia. Many of them just love the glamour of being on a committee, but they don't know about El Chapo. They don't know about the toughness you were talking about, the ruthlessness you are talking about. They do things and they have a little discussion and then start talking about when they are having dinner, where they're going, wonder how nice it is. They talk about restaurants. Remember that every drug dealer kills a minimum of 500 people during his or her lifetime." That was a journey.

So in the course of a single speech, he promises endless violence is coming, he promises that he will cause endless misery to millions of people, he forgets shit, he gets shit wrong, he repeats shit he said just a little while before, and he goes off on tangents that are the equivalent of driving from New York to Boston by way of Australia. And we're supposed to be concerned about Joe Biden's age? The fuck is anyone talking about. Even when he's fumbling a bit, Biden knows what the hell he's talking about. But Trump is given a pass because he's never known what the fuck he's talking about and no one expects him to know but somehow it's okay to ignore that and keep going with attacking Biden for continuing to have birthdays.

I'm not saying that Biden isn't old. I'm not saying that age isn't a legitimate topic. But I am saying that it fucking stinks to go after Biden for it because he talks softly and moves stiffly while not bothering to give the same treatment to Trump because he screeches like a castrated goat and undulates around the stage in a weird dance that just looks like he's jacking off two men.

Of course, one reason for this is that some Democrats are going along with the age freakout over Biden. Meanwhile, no matter how shit-scrawling insane Trump gets, his MAGA cretins will lap it up like they're in a tub in Saltburn