Donald Trump, See You Next Tuesday

Donald Trump is a cunt. He has been a cunt for his entire worthless life. He might not be the most racist president, but he is certainly the cuntiest. He is campaigning by being as cunty as any human being has ever been, buoyed by the barbaric whoops of his crowds of cunts. He surrounds his cuntish self with as many cunts as can fit into whatever space he's in, with his staff of cunts and his cunt family.  He's aided and abetted in his cuntiness by the cunt Republicans in Congress and the cunts in right-wing media who praise him as fulsomely as one might describe a lifeguard who rescued you from a shark. Except that lifeguard is not a cunt and Donald Trump is and he wouldn't lift a finger to save you.

If you've voted already, you know that feeling of hope and anxiety and promise, a suppressed giddiness that is overwhelmed by our 2016 PTSD. You just felt good voting that cunt out of office. It was like you got to say, "Yeah, Donald Trump, you cunt, take that" as you dropped your ballot in the box or the mail. You allowed yourself to imagine how enraged and scared that cunt is gonna be when he loses. If he loses. No, when he loses. 

You don't need any evidence of how much of a cunt Donald Trump is. Every single public appearance is just another occasion for him to be a cunt. Every action he's taken is merely another representation of how he is a supreme cunt. Want one example? His "Proclamation on United Nations Day, 2020" last week spent the bulk of its words on how much more awesome the United States is than the United Nations and included this bit of completely unnecessary cuntishness: "Our recent decision to withdraw from the World Health Organization underscores our firm commitment to hold governmental organizations accountable when they succumb to political influence and fail to uphold their core values." Yeah, he fucking threatened the U.N. How else do you read that? And then he followed that with "The Chinese Government has misled the international community since the outbreak in Wuhan, and the UN must join with the United States in holding China accountable for its actions." Yeah, he issued a fucking ultimatum. In a proclamation celebrating the founding of the U.N. He just had to be a cunt about it for no reason other than to assert that he's a cunt. It's like when he would sue small contractors on his shitty buildings to weasel out of paying them. That's what a cunt does.

And I know he didn't write the proclamation. No president, cunt or not, writes these kinds of things. But they sign them, so they own them, good or cunty. 

Trump's such a cowardly cunt, too. He obviously thinks mask-wearing doesn't work, but when he's confronted on it, he says that he doesn't mind if people wear them instead of saying, "I'm an arrogant cunt who thinks he knows more than scientists." If he asserts that his lies are the truth, like every cunt ever, and he's challenged with facts from interviewers, he says that the questions are "nasty" or "unfair" or "fake news" or he just walks out. Because that's what a cowardly cunt does rather than answer the goddamn question.

In every single speech he has ever given, Trump is a throbbing cunt. He can't help it. To his core, he is a cunt. If you look under his cunt exterior, you'll see a cunt. Take his speech last night in Omaha, Nebraska. It's not just that he lies and preens and performs. It's that he does it with such abandon, just a tubby orange cunt waddling around on stage as if everyone there wants to fuck him (and, to be fair, the gathered cunts likely do). He insists that the size of his COVID crowd is the real measure of how his campaign is going, waving that around like it's a knife he can bury in Joe Biden's chest. And it's not just that he cuntishly, constantly lies about Biden's mental health. He adds an extra cunt layer to it: "His wife was sitting next to him and you could see she was not happy." Yeah, now, it's not just Biden's kid. Trump's dragging Jill Biden into it.

Oh, was that not cunty enough? Here he is on Biden and coronavirus: "Joe Biden will delay the vaccine, postpone therapies, prolong the pandemic, shutter your schools, right? Shutter your schools, destroy your small businesses and shut down our country...Biden’s cruel and senseless lock downs would cause countless deaths from suicide, drug overdose and delayed medical care, alcohol." Trump's actually saying that Biden will actively harm people, which is, of course, the usual Trumpian projection of what his own crimes and failures are, another cunt move. 

But he's not just a cunt about Biden. He's a cunt when describing his supposed accomplishments. Trump took credit for ending the conflict in Kosovo. You know, the one that ended in 1999, with a huge assist by Bill Clinton? In Trump's cuntish telling, it didn't really end until he "helped" make a trade deal between Kosovo and Serbia. He said, cuntily, "They’ve been fighting for 400 years, you want to know the truth, but they’ve been fighting for a long time. They want to make a deal. All of a sudden, two months ago, they’re in the Oval Office hugging and kissing...That was easy. It just makes sense. I just said, “Hey, why don’t we get them together? I mean, we’re going to do these two deals. Tell them to stop fighting, and we save a lot of lives. That’s a good thing.” 

That's just not true. Like so many things with Trump, it was bullshit. First, there isn't "fighting" between the countries. There is tension. There are minor skirmishes. But what Trump did was essentially worthless, a minor move in a trade and border dispute. As Majda Ruge, a Balkans analyst at the European Council on Foreign Relations said, "There wasn't really any truly strategic approach or planning on solving the Serbia-Kosovo dispute, rather it was a kind of a PR event that was very important for the campaign."

That was one fuckin' rally, where the cunt didn't give a shit about his cunt followers herding together unmasked for hours at a time. And he gave them license to be their cuntiest selves.

Whatever you want to say about Joe Biden, the one thing you cannot claim is that he's a cunt. He is quite clearly not a cunt because he seems to genuinely give a shit about other people and that's decidedly un-cunty behavior. So it's easy. If you still need to vote, vote for the candidate who isn't a cunt. Send the cunt packing.

See you next Tuesday, Donald Trump. For real.

(Note: Your objection to the word "cunt" is noted.)

(Note 2: Yes, I've seen In Bruges. Martin McDonagh is a great writer.)