Impeachment Hearings: Random Observations on Republicans Getting Kicked in the Taint

1. At some point in the future, barring democracy's end, a Democrat will be president. Let's say for shits and giggles that it's, oh, hell, how about Alyssa Milano? Sure. Why not. Let's say that it's election time and Donald Trump, Jr. decides it's time to throw his dumpy ass into the mix. And let's say, and, why not, Junior's the frontrunner because, hell, Republicans have got no one else. Maybe Junior will have opened a Trump Tower in Jerusalem in the last few years, and that meant doing a lot of business with wealthy people in Israel. Now, as we know, there are politicians (Netanyahu) in Israel who are tits-deep in corruption. We also know that the United States gives a fuck-ton of money in aid to Israel, along with military equipment.

The Republicans' own characterization of what Donald Trump (Senior - that asshole we have now) did with asking for Ukraine to investigate Hunter Biden under the banner of "corruption" is that it was perfectly okay to make U.S. aid to Ukraine contingent on the investigation.

So in the future, if President Milano says that aid to Israel won't be released unless and until that country investigates Donald Trump, Junior, under the banner of "corruption," it's all good, right?

Because, see, that's what the fuck you're saying, Republicans. Now, we know that because you're Republicans, you eat and shit hypocrisy, which means that you'll act outraged and pretend that no one has ever done anything so outrageous in the history of ever. But, right now, you're saying that any president can do this to another country and to a political opponent. You want that, fuckers?

2. The best moments in today's impeachment hearings were ones that took Republicans, pulled down their pants, and smacked their asses red. It was pathetically hilarious to see Devin Nunes, Jim Jordan, that Ratshit guy, and the rest attempt to fuck the roadkill of the conspiracy theories that were run over time and again by officials who were not just Trump administration hires, but lifelong Republicans, like Kurt Volker and Jennifer Williams. Things got so bad, with GOP members of Congress stepping on their own dicks, stepping on each other's dicks, stepping on dicks that showed up just to be stepped on, that they were forced to try any attack, like on Lt. Col. Alexander Vindman's choice to wear his uniform to the hearing or the TV ratings, fer fuck's sake, or that no one used the word "bribery" in any of their testimony, which is the weirdest fucking thing since witnesses don't get to decide what crimes people will be charged with. Jesus, even Volker, who was pretty much caught lying and had to revise his testimony, couldn't really offer any help. It was utterly useless, but they're gonna pretend like they won a great victory because that's what skeevy hucksters like Donald Trump do.

3. My personal favorite moment came towards the end of the first part of the day. It was when Democratic (notice the adjective form of the word, the one that Republicans refuse to use because they're twatmites) Rep. Sean Patrick Maloney from New York had his five minutes to question Vindman and Williams. Maloney tore up the "hearsay" allegation that Republicans had kept tossing around on the first day by asking both witnesses about the July 25 phone call between Trump and Ukrainian President Zelensky: "You heard the call with your own ears, right?...Not second hand, not hearsay, you heard the president speak. You heard his voice on the call?"

Then, with Vindman, Maloney fucked shit up for the GOP. He asked Vindman why he reported the call to the National Security Council's lead counsel. "Because that was my duty," Vindman said. Maloney asked Vindman to read again one of the final paragraphs of his opening statement, where Vindman was speaking to his father, who had brought his family to the United States, escaping the Soviet Union to do so. Lemme quote this in full:

VINDMAN: Dad, my sitting here today in the U.S. Capitol, talking to our elected officials, is proof that you made the right decision 40 years ago to leave the Soviet Union and come here to the United States America in search of a better life for our family. Do not worry, I will be fine for telling the truth.

MALONEY: You realize when you came forward out of sense of duty that you are putting yourself in direct opposition to the most powerful person in the world. Do you realize that, sir?

VINDMAN: I knew I was assuming a lot of risk.

MALONEY: And I'm struck by that word don't -- that phrase "do not worry," you addressed your dad. Was your dad a warrior?

VINDMAN: He did serve. It was a different military though.

MALONEY: And he would have worried if you were putting yourself up against the president of the United States, is that right?

VINDMAN: He deeply worried about it because in his context there was -- it was the ultimate risk.

MALONEY: And why you have confidence that you can do that and tell your dad not to worry?

VINDMAN: Congressman, because this is America. This is the country I have served and defended, that all of my brothers have served. And here, right matters.

A good number of the audience in the hearing room burst into applause.  Whether or not Vindman is correct about America, we shall see.

4. The picture of President Trump that came through today is of an out-of-touch idiot who has listened to Rudy Giuliani, another out-of-touch idiot, both of them sharing delusions of conspiracy theories. And when people in the intelligence, national security, and foreign policy communities tried to tell Trump that the batshit allegations about Ukraine and the DNC server or the Bidens are batshit, Trump told them to fuck off and put Giuliani in charge, sending him on a mission to confirm the batshit allegations, eventually bribing Ukraine to almost join him in the delusion pool before all this shit was revealed by the whistleblower and confirmed by the multiple officials who have testified.

Seriously, this is like Trump sending people to search for Barack Obama's birth certificate, except now he gets to do it with the power of the Oval Office and the purse of the United States behind him.

5. Let's give the final word to Democratic Committee Chair Adam Schiff, who finally came about as close to losing his shit at Republicans as he has so far. In his closing remarks today, he pointed out that Republicans don't give a shit what Trump did. "Their objection is that he got caught," Schiff said. Then, getting more intense, he continued, "Their objection is that someone blew the whistle...their defense is that, well, he ended up releasing the aid. Yes! After he got caught. That doesn't make this any less odious."

I think things are going to get even more odious as Republicans start throwing everything at the hearings to see if something will derail the train that Schiff is driving straight at Trump.

(Note: You might think Trump's not really insane and is using the conspiracy theories as a cover for malevolence. I'd say that if he were truly that smart, he'd know to keep this shit quieter. )