Let's Do This Impeachment Thing

Let's get straight what the straw that broke Nancy Pelosi's back on impeachment was. It wasn't the phone call to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky where he said he wanted that country to go after Joe Biden and his son (or at least make it look like they were going after them). It wasn't the implication of the president of the United States using our country's relationship with a foreign country to go after a political opponent, to, really, collude with that country.

While surely that call and Trump's admitted actions played a role in Pelosi finally giving in to her increasingly restive and vocal caucus, it was really more cut-and-dried: the law says that if a whistleblower gives information to the inspector general of the intelligence community that the IG deems "urgent" and legitimate, it must be given to the proper congressional committees. It's that fucking simple. And even though Pelosi has let some things slide (like Trump refusing to turn over his taxes to the chair of the House Ways and Means Committee, as required by law), this one could not only be couched in terms of "national security" since it involves, you know, intelligence. But the motherfucking IG who found it urgent is a Trump appointee.

You know how this is gonna play out over the next few days: Trump has already said he's going to release the "transcript" of his July 25 call with Zelensky. And let's be clear: it ain't gonna be a transcript, unless they record the calls in the Oval Office, which would be peak Trump stupidity, and even then there's no way to trust it. Probably the transcript will show that Trump never said, "Hey, Voldemort, dick over Biden or no bomb money for you." But, as Jeffrey Toobin and others have said today, if Trump even mentions Biden's name, it's abuse of power. I'm betting that, if you're really concerned about corruption in Ukraine, there are lots of people not named Biden involved. (Besides, Hunter Biden was already completely cleared of any involvement in anything. He was never even formally accused of anything.)

This fuckin' dance will go something like the Mueller Report. Because it's not absolutely obvious to the dumbest dumbass what's going on in the phone call, most Republicans and Fox "news" and Twitter fucknuts will proclaim it a "witch hunt" and try to discredit the whole impeachment effort.

But we don't even know if that's all that the whistleblower was talking about. As I write this, the New York Times is reporting that the White House is figuring out how much to allow the whistleblower to speak to Congress, which, again, is not what the law says. It's a distraction strategy so that that array of leperous whores who run interference for Trump can say to his idiot hordes of voters, "See? Look how transparent your orange god is."

While I'm still leaning agnostic on the whole "this is finally what brings this motherfucker down" early celebration because we've been burned so many times before,  I gotta say that there is something different going on here. First off, today, Mitch McConnell, that infected sore on the scrotum of politics, went along with a nonbinding resolution calling for the whistleblower's complaint to be given to the intelligence committees, and it passed with unanimous consent. Say what you will about it, but it gives Democrats some pretty potent ammunition to say that Trump, Barr, and the Acting Director of National Intelligence are being fucking criminals by holding it back.

If I were an optimistic person, I'd say that we might see some Republicans start to peel off as people wake up and see that, at last, in a game of chicken with the White House, Democrats in the House did not swerve at the last minute. It's a whole lot more fun to root for a fighter, and if polls start to show growing support for impeachment, I'd say some GOP House members, at the very least, are gonna start to get a little nervous about keeping their lips superglued to Trump's voluminous ass.

And I've seen a few conservatives in the media agreeing that Trump admitted to impeachable offenses when he bragged that he talked about the Bidens with Zelensky. Maybe we'll get more who give a shit about the rule of law, but I wouldn't hold my breath. The one thing I would say to any Republicans who might be reading: "Fuck you." And then the next thing I'd say is "You knew it was gonna come to this. You knew Trump was just that vile and depraved and greedy and dumb and narcissistic. How else was this gonna go?" Perhaps I'd add: "Did you see him at the United Nations today? Sweet Jesus, I thought he was gonna collapse into himself like a deflating yoga ball. He ain't right. You wanna stand by that?"

We are at the beginning now. I don't think this will be like the oddly fast Clinton impeachment, which took a little over two months (with the trial and acquittal in the Senate over two months after that). That came in the wake of the Starr Report, so it was a response to a full, ludicrous, shameful sham of an investigation. We're starting from scratch here. Let's have some hearings on the TV, please. Drag Trump's ass for as long as it's necessary.

What Nancy Pelosi finally did was to stop allowing Democrats to be so goddamned feckless and seemingly random in their attempts to investigate Trump and his administration. An effective Democratic caucus would have already gone after Trump for profiting off his position or for what was revealed in the Mueller Report, which essentially said, "You gotta impeach this crooked cock."

Now Democrats can have a crystal clear, simple message that can tie together the threads of all the various committees' work: Trump is a criminal, and here are all the ways he has violated the law, his oath of office, and the public trust. Now let's impeach the motherfucker.

Gird yer loins, oh, good Trump-haters of America, for things are gonna get intense and weird and possibly (even more) violent, if his yahoo-brigade starts to think their racist president is going down.

We've finally, really joined the battle. It's about goddamn time.

(One last note: Rudy Giuliani is fucked. He better cut some deals fast because Trump is selling him out in a heartbeat.)