Note to the World: You Can't Trust the United States Anymore

Republicans (and some Democrats) have had an irrational hysteria about Iran since 1979, when the Ayatollah Khomeini overthrew the Shah, who himself had been handpicked by the CIA to overthrow the elected government leaders. And one of the most irrational bits of fuckery has been the promise that Iran was magically always just around the corner from building a nuclear weapon. As far back as 1984, we were told that the scary Moose-limbs were a year or two or five from having a nuke. And they never fuckin' built it. So either they kept failing or we were just told that shit so we could keep up our hate-boners from back in the days of the Iranian hostage crisis, nearly 40 years ago now.

During the 2015 negotiations over the Iran nuclear deal that Donald Trump just broke like it was a contract with an interior decorator at one of his shitty casinos, Republicans, especially, were completely hysterical. There was the letter, now prescient, where 47 Republican senators warned Iran, "You can go along with this deal, but we're untrustworthy motherfuckers and we will fuck all the mothers we can." Tom Cotton of Arkansas told his Senate colleagues that "President Obama harbors such deep-seated and irrational antipathy for Prime Minister Netanyahu that he is now willing to upend this decades-long alliance" with the Iran deal. God, I'm so sick of the United States being Israel's bitch.

And then there's that sucker of donkey cock, Jeff Flake. You may have seen that he recently said that Trump should not leave the Iran deal because everyone is living up to it and it makes the United States seem like a bunch of irrational fucks if we leave. Well, back in 2015, given the chance to support it and make it have bipartisan backing, Flake fucked off back to the safety of his craven party and opposed it.

Look, Donald Trump, a pile of piss-soaked rags heaped in a man-shaped sack, doesn't understand jackshit about the Joint Comprehensive Plan of Action (the real name of the Iran deal). You could tell that by how carefully he slurred the statement he made announcing that the U.S. was going to violate the agreement ("Withdraw"? Motherfucker, I can't "withdraw" from my car payments. I can break the contract, with all the consequences that come with it). If you asked him to tell you one fuckin' thing in there, he'd stammer like a sixth grader caught jacking off in the bathroom before saying how Iran is evil and accusing you of supporting evil.

All that matters is that the Negro President had successfully negotiated the deal, and fuck him. Who gives a shit if it's working? Who gives a shit if there are no better options? Who gives a shit if every one of our main allies is telling us to stay in the deal? The ethos of the Trump administration is "Fuck that nigger" and, if Hillary Clinton was in any way involved, "Fuck that bitch, too." (Although it was completed when John Kerry was Secretary of State, Clinton was involved in getting the momentum going on it.) Trump had savage ideologues, horny for a war, like John Bolton and Mike Pompeo telling him it was cool to dick over everyone else in the deal.

So the Trump administration and Republicans have taught the world a valuable lesson: You can't trust the United States any further than the next election (unless it's a treaty ratified by the Senate, but that's a nuance that will get lost). The country with the biggest military and biggest economy in the world is now an irrational actor, with the whims of a vengeful madman setting the agenda from day to day, without a care about any goddamn thing other than what makes him look tough and what sticks it that Negro President who thought he was so smart.

By the way, President Obama did put out a statement saying, in essence, Trump is full of shit. And Iran told the United States to go fuck itself and will stay in the deal with the European Union, if it can work that out.

This is what it's like to be a pariah. And it may lead to conflicts with our European allies. It may lead to Iran eventually saying, "Fuck it," and building a nuke before negotiating again (like North Korea did). It may even lead to war in the Middle East should Israel or Iran get nervous. But, man, Trump really stuck it to us libtards, didn't he?