Republicans Are Some Sour Grape-Sucking Sons of Bitches:
The Rude Pundit has done a little bit of research here as part of his massive duties as CEO and CFO and executive secretary of this here bit of bloggery. And he could not find a single example of a Democrat who lost an election saying that the problem was that too many white people voted. In fact, he could not find a single example of a Democrat blaming too much voting. Mostly, Democrats blame not enough voting because, rightly or wrongly, conventional political wisdom says high turnout favors Democrats.

So when former savior of conservatism, Paul Ryan, whined that "The surprise was some of the turnout, some of the turnout especially in urban areas," it was a lament that way too many people made it to the polls, despite the best efforts of the GOP to get them to stay home. Another way of putting it: "Damn, we thought the Negroes were too busy playing with their Obamaphones to be bothered."

Of course, others are more blunt, like moustachioed spoogesack and Maine GOP Chair Charlie Webster, who suspects foul play because nearly a peck of blacks showed up to vote in Maine and "nobody in town knows anyone who’s black." Umm, the black population of Maine is about 1%, roughly 15,700 people, some of them too young to vote, no doubt. Obama won the state by over 100,000 votes. So the answer to this conundrum is that Charlie Webster can go fuck himself.

By the way, Maine? Not generally known as an "urban" state.

Yesterday was a banner day for Republican presidential losers in general. Finally free to let his dick flag fly, rich fuck Mitt Romney was on a call with his financial backers, aka "other rich fucks," when he said, ""The president's campaign, if you will, focused on giving targeted groups a big gift." What were these gifts? Were they a reduction of the capital gains tax? Were they a promise that taxes would not be raised on income over $250,000 a year? 'Cause those are some shiny, expensive presents.

No, the gifts were more mundane (and this is quoted in length so that you can get the full effect of the breathtaking, elitist assholery the nation rejected): "Free contraceptives were very big with young, college-aged women. And then, finally, Obamacare also made a difference for them, because as you know, anybody now 26 years of age and younger was now going to be part of their parents’ plan, and that was a big gift to young people...You can imagine for somebody making $25,000 or $30,000 or $35,000 a year, being told you’re now going to get free health care, particularly if you don’t have it, getting free health care worth, what, $10,000 per family, in perpetuity — I mean, this is huge. Likewise with Hispanic voters, free health care was a big plus. But in addition with regards to Hispanic voters, the amnesty for children of illegals, the so-called Dream Act kids, was a huge plus for that voting group.”

You got that? Health care for poor people is a "gift." In most other countries, it's called a "right." Anything that smacks of compassion and support for the less fortunate, the little people without trust funds and massive pensions, is merely a giveaway, a treat, a shiny bauble, not a life-transforming program that a responsible government might provide. We didn't just dodge a bullet by denying the presidency to this preening ass, this mock Thurston Howell, we dodged a fucking missile.

Man, Thanksgiving is gonna suck at the Romney household this year.

But this look at angry, confused Republicans would be incomplete without mentioning that John McCain, who nurses a grudge like it's his demon baby sucking blood from his saggy tits, lashed out at the President and UN Ambassador Susan Rice over the right's latest conspiracy, Banghazigate or whatever the fuck they're calling it in the impeachment documents they're no doubt prepping. Yes, the angriest leprechaun ever stomped and whooped about "incompetence" and possible cover-up, bringing along the Senate's Blanche DuBois, Lindsey Graham. The President, for his part, said at his press conference yesterday, more or less, "Bring it, McFuckface and Bitch Boy Graham."

Goddamn, Republicans do not know how to lose. You are going to hear Petraeus and Benghazi endlessly now because they'll figure it's the only way to derail Obama again. At least until 2014.

(Note: It is suspected that Bob Dole grumpily asked for more pudding yesterday. He blamed Bill Clinton for it not having enough raisins.)