Random Observations on Last Night's Second Presidential Debate:
1. The one time the Rude Pundit witnessed the awful spectacle of a cockfight, it was in a grubby backroom of a bar in dark, dank Louisiana. The roosters constantly circled each other, their twitching heads indicating that they were sizing each other up. At first, one went in for a peck and then the other, testing to see how they responded. It wasn't graceful. It wasn't pretty. And then it got worse. Cock 1 dove at Cock 2, talons out, trying to rip the shit out of Cock 2. Cock 2 was already bleeding when it tried to fight back, getting in a few blows with its claws, but obviously startled by the ferocity of Cock 1's attack. It got even worse, with Cock 2 desperately trying to fight back, but just unable to. Even in its death throes, its wrecked feet weakly kicked, but there was nothing left. Cock 1 was hoisted up in victory. Cock 2 was presumable fed to the fighting dogs kept out back. The Rude Pundit did not bet on the outcome.

2. So last night, Cock 1, President Obama, decided that sleepy time was over and came out of the gate ready to destroy the myth of Mitt. In the first ten minutes, he said that Romney wasn't telling the truth multiple times. And, for the first time in any presidential debate the Rude Pundit's witnessed, it really looked like one of them was going to punch the other. That moment over whether or not oil production was cut was genuinely tense. For most of the 100 minutes or so, Obama was not the usual punk-ass Democrat, trying to find places to agree with the Republican. Instead, he was the asskicker-in-chief, taking Romney and the audience to school again and again. If this had been the first debate, we'd be talking about how big a landslide the president would win by. But it wasn't. And while Obama will still eke out a victory, it would have been nice to have put it away.

3. Romney (Cock 2, obviously) didn't suck. He was a better opponent against Obama than Obama was against him in the first debate. But he was trapped, man, so very trapped. Obama's had people say "Yes" to him for only the last four years. Romney has spent the last 40 getting his balls washed by everyone. The man can't stand it when he's challenged, especially with his own words used against him. His face gets flush, and he starts weirdly getting all breathy and frantic, as if he's about to blow a gasket. It's the face that Ann must see just before Mitt demands she bend over the antique sideboard and get ready for a Kolobian ass reaming. It's the look that must have terrified his five awful sons into eating their vegetables and washing the dog shit off the side of the car. It must be horrible to be his servant, since he considers everyone not in his class the help.

4. Obama's best moment was when he went right to where Romney lives. Regarding Romney's tax plan, Obama said, "Governor Romney was a very successful investor. If somebody came to you, Governor, with a plan that said, here, I want to spend $7 or $8 trillion, and then we're going to pay for it, but we can't tell you until maybe after the election how we're going to do it, you wouldn't take such a sketchy deal and neither should you, the American people," and that was the kind of pimp slap that'd make even the most hardened pimp flinch in sympathy. Everyone is talking about the Libya/"acts of terror" moment as the key. That was orgasmic in its pure evisceration of Romney, but, really, Mitt didn't recover after this smacking.

5. Romney keeps asserting that everything he says is right just because he says it's right. How can anyone take him seriously when he knows so little about how he'll pay for his tax plan? He actually said, "[I]n terms of bringing down deductions, one way of doing that would be say everybody gets -- I'll pick a number -- $25,000 of deductions and credits, and you can decide which ones to use." "I'll pick a number"? How the fuck can he get away with that? That means he doesn't know what it would have to be. That means he knows the math doesn't work. Can someone call out this motherfucker for fucking his mother? And America has to be sick of hearing about Romney as uber-great businessman. Fuck, we get it, you know how to squeeze profits for investors. He has never said anything about how that connects to running a government, other than saying that he knows how to make money. The Rude Pundit's pretty sure that that's not the goal of government. The "show him the rabbits" pathetic moment was when Romney chanted, "Government does not create jobs. Government does not create jobs," like a child having a fit on the supermarket floor. Mitt the Dick was on full display last night, and it wasn't pretty.

6. It bears saying that if Mitt Romney became a governor in 2003 and didn't know any women who could take a position in his administration, then Mitt Romney has never given a damn about women he can't fuck. And, with the "binders full of women" already much-mocked, maybe someone can also inform Romney that if you are directing people to search for women to fill jobs, that's affirmative action.

7. It also bears saying that Obama's answer that connected women's health issues with economic and family issues was beautiful. In a night of truly strong answers, it was nearly everything anyone concerned with the real lives of real women could have asked for.

8. One bit of advice for debate the third: the President has yet to talk about how Republican obstructionism has prevented many of his promises from being passed or implemented. That's why Romney kept saying that Obama didn't "file a bill" on things like immigration. Because if Romney had said that something didn't pass, then that opens the door to saying that the Republican senators are a bunch of assholes who care more about preventing an Obama victory on anything than on helping the nation.

9. At the end of the debate, the Rude Pundit didn't see the candidates shake hands. By concluding with an attack on Romney's 47% remarks, Obama pretty much went over to Cock 2 and shit on him while he was dying. The living cock doesn't need to shake hands with the dead one.