A Letter from the American Americans for America Regarding Sonia Sotomayor:
A note to our eager members and generous donors:

Even though our organization is devoted to opposing anything that even hints at civil rights and freedoms for anyone not straight, white, Christian, and conservative, and despite the fact that the nomination of Judge Sonia Sotomayor to the Supreme Court would appear, on its face, to contain every element that would prompt us to go into attack mode, we will not be fighting this nomination. In short, on Sotomayor, we surrender. A good army knows that you sometimes need to retreat to fight another day rather than join every battle, and if there was ever a battle that seemed like Little Big Horn and we're the cavalry, it's this one.

C'mon, look at it from a practical perspective. TV ads are expensive. Fox ain't just giving away time on Hannity. And, really, what do we have to say? That she once ruled against some white firefighters? That she once laughed as she said appeals courts make policy? That she said that being a woman of color from the projects might give her a better perspective on some issues than a rich white guy? Well, sure, we kind of have to agree, don't we? Because we always say that being a Christian gives us a better point of view on policy and legal issues. That means if you're not a Christian, you're not as wise as us. While sometimes blatant, open hypocrisy is fine, but even we can't say it with a straight face.

And look at her rulings on abortion rights. She's sided three times with the pro-life position. Yeah, you can bet that she supports Roe v. Wade, but you can't pin her down. Please don't make us fight this.

We believe you like this organization and all the good it's done. Gays still can't marry in California. Did you see that? That was us. And your state is not going to be invaded by terrorists from Guantanamo any time soon. That was us, too. Also, your child doesn't have to believe the world came from anything but the graceful hand of God because of us. See? We're on top of things. But we're gonna take a pass on Sotomayor because we think that if we go with the full force fight, we'll not only be crushed, but we'll lose membership and money. C'mon: a woman and a Hispanic? Are you nuts?

Yeah, yeah, don't worry. We'll still show up on news networks with a couple of talking points, about how she's a "radical" and "extremist" and "judicial activist," words that we've rendered empty of meaning but sound scary. We want to make sure people know we're still here, although, frankly, that's getting harder and harder to do these days. But we'll update the Facebook page. And our Twitter feed will be vicious. These things don't cost us a dime. Don't you love an organization that not only makes you feel good about your prejudices, but is economical about it? Honestly, though, we just don't have the resources at hand to make much more than a YouTube video, but we couldn't stand to do that only to have someone just take it and put Keyboard Cat at the end.

We're sure you're upset by this. We know you're not used to us stepping back and having insight into how we look to the rest of the public. We're sure you were all ready to get regular emails updating you on how we're losing this fight and how we need more of your money in order to win. Well, we still need your money. You know, who doesn't need more money? But we'll just bank it for a fight when Scalia finally keels over after one too many sausages.

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