Prayers For the Filibuster Busters:
Great googly-moogly, the Rude Pundit has been asked to pray, praise Jesus, praise his name. Signed up under a pseudonym, the Rude Pundit receives daily updates from the Family Research Council Action group, including the bi-weekly (which sounds queer, but really isn't) Prayer Points for the FRC's Super-Duper Prayer Team, of which the Rude Pundit is a proud member. Here's the most recent prayin' points memo, ready to be put into your nightly prayers right after "God bless Mama and Daddy and lil' Jesse with the gimpy leg and please take care of Aunt Nita's brain cancer 'cause the Medicaid won't." Clasp your hands, motherfuckers, and kneel down like a self-loathing closeted gay Republican at an all-you-can-meat basement leather club, 'cause you got your prayin' orders, straight from Tony Perkins to your Hotmail account - not one, but five, count 'em, five prayers on the filibuster. Fuck the starving, fuck the meek, fuck the homeless, fuck the plagues of the world, fuck it all - Jesus needs him some fuckin' judges. Here's the real, actual prayer directive from prayin' central:

"1. Please pray for an end to discrimination against people of faith who are nominated to serve in our courts.
"2. Please pray that the Senate will treat people of faith who are nominated to serve on our courts with fairness, giving them a 'yes' or 'no' vote.
"3. Please pray for the nominees who have been filibustered-that they will be encouraged, determined, and able to forgive their enemies.
"4. Finally, please pray for an end to the misuse of the filibuster by Senators who are hostile to people of faith.
"5. Please pray that the judicial activism in this nation is reigned in and that we will have judges who will not legislate from the bench."

Perkins tells we members of the Super-Duper Prayer Team, "I cannot thank you enough for your commitment to praying with us. This is the most important action we can take. May God bless you." Fuck voting. Fuck calling your member of Congress. Fuck petitions. Fuck all that and more. Praying is more important than any of that bullshit 'cause, you know, God needs to know that the people of America want him to directly intercede in the hearts of Chuck Hagel, John McCain, and other Republicans. What happens if we members of the Super-Duper Prayer Team fail in our prayerful heroic actions? Forgiveness? Fuck that, too.

We all know the growing mantra of the leaders of fundamentalist churches: our way or the highway (one presumes "to hell," but that would presume they listen to AC/DC, and that would be, well, foolish, no?).

Yeah, last week the President had the wife of Focus on the Family's James Dobson to the White House for the National Day of Prayer, where Bush closed his eyes tight, death gripped Laura, and at least gave the appearance that he was prayin' like a motherfucker. Said Bush in his remarks before the big time fuckin' prayin' started, "[W]e pray to acknowledge our dependence on the Almighty. Prayerful people understand the limits of human strength. We recognize that our plans are not always God's plans. Yet, we know that a God who created us for freedom is not indifferent to injustice or cruelty or evil. So we ask that our hearts may be aligned with His, and that we may be given the strength to do what is right and help those in need. We who ask for God's help for ourselves, have a particular obligation to care for the least of our brothers and sisters within our midst." And then he cut Medicaid and food stamps. But maybe he was being literal, and that just meant he was gonna pay Neil's legal fees.

Oh, perhaps the Rude Pundit's being cynical here. After all, his Super-Duper Prayer Team e-mail opened with a quote from 1 Thessalonians 5: "Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you." 'Course, it might be nice to read the rest of the chapter, which says, "Be at peace among yourselves . . . See that none render evil for evil unto any man; but ever follow that which is good, both among yourselves, and to all men." Now, the Rude Pundit's no Bible scholar, hell, he's barely a Bible reader, but it doesn't seem that Paul, the speaking character here, is calling for prayers over political procedures, but, instead, for a unified church. Indeed, one could argue, and one should, that Paul is saying that concerns that are extrinsic to the church should be put aside in order to create the most open place for worship (well, open to worshipping Jesus, not anyone else).

In today's crazed fundamentalist theology, that kind of belief doesn't have a . . . well, prayer.