1/23/2020

Republicans Believe the United States Is So Weak That It Couldn't Handle Removing Trump from Office

There are so many arguments that Republicans make regarding the impeachment of Donald Trump that range from blatant bullshit to explosive diarrhea. The laughably hypocritical cries of "Democrats hate this president" are lost every time Trump himself calls Democrats "traitors" who "hate the United States" and are "radical left" "socialists." And, yes, we all remember how Republicans acted like a lynch mob when it came to Barack Obama. So, you know, go fuck each other with your "hate" accusation.

The one that pisses me off more than any other is that "Democrats want to overturn the 2016 election." On the most basic level, this is utterly and completely false. We don't rewind to November 2016 and declare Hillary Clinton the winner. Goddamn Mike Pence becomes president. Every judge fisted through Mitch McConnell's Senate sphincter still has their job, including odious cuntfleas Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh. Shit, everyone Trump appointed would probably be safer in their jobs than if Trump remains president. And, frankly, Republicans are more obsessed with 2016 now than Democrats are because they know, they fucking know, that Trump's victory is illegitimate and they have to do everything in their power to not let that fact become viral.

But even beyond, you know, facts, there is an insult to the American people in the assertion that somehow Trump's impeachment and removal from office would so upset Americans that they couldn't take it. It's like they want us to think that, for some reason, Donald fuckin' Trump, who is an overloaded garbage barge in an ill-fitting suit, is so intrinsic to the existence of the United States that the republic would crumble without him. And, surely, some of his most loyal chuds would have to learn to live without the center of their universe, but they can hock all that MAGA gear for cash for more oxy to ease the pain.

You know what would happen if Trump were removed? We'd all fucking breathe a sigh of relief, even a whole lot of Republicans. It'd be like the guards at the end of the film The Wizard of Oz after the Wicked Witch is melted, when the previously cruel men bow down and thank Dorothy for ridding them of her. Jesus, we'd all treat Adam Schiff like a god for freeing us.

"You want to overturn the 2016 election"? That ship has sailed. But you know which ship is still in port? The fucking 2018 election. You know what happened there? Republicans got reamed out in the House of Representatives. You know why? Because Americans wanted to see Donald Trump impeached. I've said it before: The message of 2018 was to go after the dumb orange motherfucker in the White House.

So, no, dicks, we're not overturning the 2016 election. We're honoring the results of the 2018 one. You got a problem with that shit? Take it up with Alexander Hamilton. Amend the Constitution. Otherwise, suck on Article 1.

One other thing: Republicans keep saying that Trump may have fucked up, but it doesn't rise to "high crimes and misdemeanors." And I keep coming back to the word "misdemeanors" because, well, it seems like the people who wrote that were thinking, "There might be some little shit that's not worth putting someone in prison for, but it certainly indicates that a motherfucker shouldn't be president. Yeah, we should include that." We've all done a misdemeanor or two, like public drunkenness or trespassing or disorderly conduct or a little Molly.  Maybe violated an oath.

Either way, though, the presentations over the last two days by Democrats have proven that Trump is plainly, extravagantly guilty of a bunch of shit, large and small, so the point's a bit moot. Tonight, in particular, Schiff has been brilliant in starkly presenting Trump as a feckless, narcissistic dupe for anyone who will glorify him and give him power. His final speech tonight was the closest I've seen to someone finally just burning the whole thing down.

Either way, though, Republicans will be unmoved, but they will keep slinging this bullshit rhetoric all the way through 2020. Sling it back at them.