So it's just funner than hell to point out that, aside from a Weiner or two, Republicans, who, for the most part, have no problem telling the rest of us what kind of sexy time we can have with consenting adults, have been far, far stupider in their fucking because of this very hypocrisy. It's not just like shooting fish in a barrel. It's like grenading the barrel and saying, "Damn, that was an easy way to get some fish."
For instance, here's a shot from a 2010 gubernatorial campaign ad:
That's Alabama Governor (now "ex-governor") Robert Bentley, a Republican, from his commercial titled "A Man's Word," telling Alabamans that he will always keep his, well, his word. Except, of course, when it comes to his wife. Apparently, Bentley's desire to stick his dick into the pussy, mouth, and possibly the ass of his one-time aide, Rebekah Mason, was far, far more important than his "word." And not just his word to his wife, but to the people of his state because Bentley was arrested today, pled guilty to two misdemeanors, and resigned from office. Yeah, in order to facilitate the placement of his dick in Mason, Bentley misused state funds and threatened people by using cops to coerce their silence.
For real fun, watch Bentley give a speech on "Faith, Family, and Jobs." For even bigger fun, read Bentley's statement condemning the Supreme Court's same-sex marriage decision. In it, Bentley declared, "I have always believed in the Biblical definition of marriage as being between one man and one woman" while he was in the midst of fucking a woman who was not his wife. In other words, more than one woman, right, Bob?
Side note: Bentley made a big damn deal in that "Word" ad about releasing his taxes and pledging to do so for every year he was in office. But, like most of his principles, he could toss that aside like a condom fresh out of his mistress's asshole. Evidence? Enjoy:
Meanwhile, over in Oklahoma, a married, anti-LGBT rights state senator, Ralph Shortey, was arrested for fucking an underage male teenage prostitute at a Super 8 Motel on the I-35 Service Road. The only way this could get sleazier is if it somehow involved a church, and, in fact, it does involve a church because one of the things Shortey was charged with was "Engaging in prostitution within 1000 feet of a church." That shouldn't really be an extra crime, but it's ironic because that's the kind of nonsensically cruel bill that Ralph Shortey would have totally supported as a state senator. Hell, the motel room stunk of marijuana, and Shortey supported a bill to increase penalties for drug possession within...wait for it...1000 feet of a church.
So, yes, the Super 8 off I-35 in Norman, Oklahoma, is within 1000 feet as the crow flies of the Memorial Presbyterian Church.
By the way, Shortey wasn't just your garden variety ultra-right-wing spoogerag. He was a bugfuck crazy one. Yeah, in 2012, he sponsored a bill to prohibit "the manufacture or sale of food or products which use aborted human fetuses." That's a piss sauce of stupid on a big plate of bullshit. Somehow, though, not as bad as fucking underage prostitutes.
