Five Questions for Donald Trump Supporters That They Will Never Answer Because They're Terrible Human Beings

1. If Hillary Clinton refused to release her taxes because they are "under audit," would you be cool with that?

2. If the IRS said that taxpayers are free to release their tax returns while they are being audited and, besides, it's only the last few years that are being audited, yet Hillary Clinton still refused to release even those not under audit, would you be cool with that?

3. If Hillary Clinton had promised to release her taxes if she ran for president, but she won't, would you be cool with that?

4. If Hillary Clinton had promised to release her taxes if Barack Obama had released his long-form birth certificate, which he did, and she still won't, would you be cool with that?

5. If Chelsea Clinton said that her mother shouldn't release her taxes because they'd be a distraction because "We’ve seen how viral that craziness goes. We want to keep on point," would you be cool with that?

Now, you can be lying sacks of shit, as you usually are, Trump supporters, and say, "Well, it would be fine by me if Hillary Clinton didn't release them." But we know the truth: You'd lose your tiny fucking minds. You wouldn't let a second pass when you didn't scream about how she's hiding something and you'd just make shit up about her, about how she must be hiding payments to her lesbian coven of manicide or how they're on the ISIS payroll. You'd go berzerker about it, and every Fox "news" commenturbator would be ejaculating all over the joint about how unprecedented it is. Alex Jones would literally explode. The Nazi frogs on Twitter would vomit up their guts.

Most likely, though, you'd just answer, "Erg, blarg, 30,000 emails, Crooked Hillary," as if the only way the synapses in that tiny brain can fire is if you repeat a bullshit talking point. Except no one's asking for Trump's emails, so the analogy is another waste of time.

No one in the media should give Trump another fucking second until he gives up the tax forms: "Oh, you want us to cover another goddamned speech? Fuck you until we see how much of a con artist you are." But that's as much a fantasy as Donald Trump, philanthropist billionaire.

Now we can move on to how you'd feel if Hillary Clinton used her foundation's money to make donations in her name. And then how you'd feel if Hillary Clinton was making millions of dollars off campaigning for president. On and on into the void where your cold Trumpian hearts sit dead.