7/30/2015

Erick "Erick" Erickson Rages for the Babies

Fox "news" commentator, radio commentator, and man-shaped potato Erick "Erick" Erickson has posted another mighty blog post of mightiness on his internet peek show booth mop, RedState (motto: "You know how when you step in shit while wearing sneakers and you scrape and scrape but there's no way to get all the shit out of the rubber crevices on the bottom until you get to some water. Those dried bits of shit you wash out later? That's us right here.").

"Shut Down the Government. Now," Erickson declares in his title and concluding paragraph. Why should we shut down the government now? Drones? Mass spying? Failure to act on climate change? The corruption of politicians through a money spigot opened fully? Fuck you, you baby-hating dicks. No, it's because Planned Parenthood gets money from the government and they're obviously straight out murdering babies in order to sell their delicious baby parts for cold, hard cash.

Yeah, after another of those oh-so-graphic descriptions of abortions (Guess what? Medical procedures are kinda gross), Erickson proclaims, "[T]he federal government gives Planned Parenthood millions of dollars each year. The Democrats say the money does not pay for abortions, but your federal taxpayer dollars subsidize an organization that could do quite well on its own. Our tax dollars should not go to carving up kids and harvesting their organs. But they do."

Planned Parenthood received a bit over $500 million a year from Medicaid and other sources. By the Rude Pundit's awesome ability to use a calculator, that works out to be tinier than Erick "Erick" Erickson's prick, like 1/10,000th of a percent of the entire federal budget. You'd think a war or something might inspire calls to shut down the government, but, hey, let's just give Erickson a refund of a penny. It'll still be more than he spent on Planned Parenthood.

Erickson has what he believes is an appalling statistic: "According to testimony into Planned Parenthood’s practices in Texas, Planned Parenthood of Houston alone makes $120,000.00 a month from the deaths of children and the harvesting of their organs." That testimony is from the sham hearing going on in the Texas Legislature (motto: "Really? Do you expect us to legislate?"). Erickson links to a tweet that reported on the testimony by a former Planned Parenthood employee. Now, you, being rational, might think, "Oh, shit, is this a whistleblower with all kinds of documents and shit?"

Fuck no. In fact, Abby Johnson, the former official in question, tweeted to naysayers who wanted proof of her assertion, "I didn't steal any documents when I left. Would you have preferred that I did?" Well, yeah. That's how you blow a fuckin' whistle. In a report from an anti-choice group on the hearing, Johnson wasn't as sure as the tweeting reporter was: "Johnson testified that her Planned Parenthood clinic made $200 per baby. She said fetal tissue donations were 'sheer profit for Planned Parenthood.' Even with a conservative estimate, she said, the large quota-based Planned Parenthood clinic that had even 50 tissue donors abortions a day could easily make $120,000 a month from tissue donation." "Could" and "estimate" do not a true statement make.

In other words, the more proper testimony would have been "I pulled this number right out of my asshole." That's because according to Planned Parenthood's own tax documents, they would have had to commit massive tax fraud to cover up that much money a month.

When you rely on fake videos, you rely on fake facts, also known as "lies." When you rely on lies for one part of your argument, hey, what they hell, eh, Erick? You may as well go all in.