Ted Cruz and Domestic Terrorists Are Not That Different

Gerbil-faced bastard Ted Cruz, Republican senator from Texas, talks a big fuckin' game, man. In a conversation with young Republicans on Saturday, Cruz expounded on the threat that is Barack Obama: "Obama is a disaster because he’s an unmitigated socialist, what he believes is profoundly dangerous, and he’s undermined the Constitution and the role of America in the world." Cruz may as well have followed that up with "And he's raping the fuck out the Statue of Liberty while shitting on the flag."

Think about that for a moment. The presidential candidate thinks that the current president wants to subvert the nation. In fact, by Cruz's definition, Obama is a traitor who is putting American lives at risk. If that's the case, Senator Cruz, why aren't you calling for Obama's immediate arrest? Why aren't you leading a squad of armed patriots to take the country back? Jesus Christ, man, that shit's scary. Are we really going to gamble the sovereignty of the nation on another 20 months of an Obama presidency? Are you a pussy? Running for president won't stop Obama. You must just be a pussy who's all talk.

And all it takes is one tri-corner hat-sporting fucknut to take Cruz at his word and do the job himself or herself.

This is what the presidential race is going to be like. It'll be rhetoric heightened right up to the point of declaring President Obama an imminent threat to the country but backing off before taking it to the next logical step. It's gonna be terrorism without the commitment. It's one thing for a candidate to say that the current president has shit policies, but when you take a long walk down Crazytown Road, against the dude who won two elections, you've pretty much announced that you're not a serious person.

But, then again, Cruz mocks the serious people as "moderates," and that'll work on the yahoos, droolers, and mutants who make up the Republican base. New Jersey's most-hated yoga ball, Chris Christie, went fully into the demented blue yonder at a New Hampshire town hall: "I feel like we really have had a President for the last six and a half years that we still don't even know. We don't know what he really believes in. We don't know what he really is willing to fight for. We don't know whether he's really willing to fight for anything. We don't know who he really likes or dislikes. We don't know whether he really cares about his own party, or the other party, or about the country."

Most of us hear that and think, "The fuck are you talking about, hoss? You ever watch the news or listen to the man?"

But if you hear that and think, "Yeah, I don't know shit about Obama other than he's an unmitigated socialist who is profoundly dangerous," then 2016 is going to be an election cycle of orgasmic joy for you.