Evangelical Right Is Losing Its Goddamned Mind Over RFRA Backsliding

Sure as the sun rises, the evangelical right was going to go bugfuck insane over any backtracking on the Religious Freedom Restoration Acts being considered or passed in different states. The goal of almost all of them is to discriminate against same sex couples who want to get married, and, truth be told, to discriminate against gays even if they're just single and fabulous.

The Family Research Council (motto: "Sure, Jesus hung out with a bunch of dudes most of the time in a totally not-gay way") has written a thing about Indiana Gov. Mike Pence, who indicated that he's open to undicking over the state and revisiting the RFRA there. Says FRC President Tony "Where's the nearest TV camera?" Perkins, "The governor addressed the complete falsehood that RFRA is about denying people a seat in a restaurant or a room at a hotel. Christians would never deny people these services but being forced to participate in a ceremony that violates religious beliefs is completely un-American and uncivil." The first question that comes to mind is "Have you met many Christians?" 'Cause there's a fuckload of them that'd cast the first, second, and third stone when it comes to LGBT people.

Perkins continues, "The government shouldn’t force religious businesses and churches to participate in wedding ceremonies contrary to their owners’ beliefs." Now you might say, "When the fuck did a bakery become a 'religious business'?" But you're a sinner and probably masturbating right now. Religious people are being subject to "bullying" by the government, Perkins says, concluding with "What is unfolding in Indiana reveals the source of true intolerance: those who want the government to punish people for freely living according to their beliefs."

This is where we are: One side claims it's intolerant to deny service to people whose very existence doesn't comport with the religious beliefs of a business owner. The other side claims it's intolerant to force them to serve those people.  Between them, sweet motherfuckers, is a river too wide to cross.

In many ways, the FRC is far more rational and modulated than the frantic rat orgy of intolerance and religious faith taking place over at the blog RedState, which is where the doughy deacon of delusion, Erick "Erick" Erickson holds forth.  For instance, today, he writes, "In the last twenty-four hours, much of the mainstream media has shown itself perfectly willing to serve as agents of Satan." And he ain't saying that ironically or facetiously. Oh, great Lucifer, no. That walking bowl of paste-colored Jello is dead serious that the media is doing Satan's bidding on earth. And, remember, this dude is on TV regularly to represent the conservative viewpoint.

Yesterday, Erickson was offering pure, uncut crazy Christian soldier rhetoric, freebased and injected right into a slapped vein: "Many people would like to find middle ground. Many churches would like to find middle ground. But there will be none because homosexuals and their culture war warriors on the left are unwilling to have a middle ground." Fuck, that shit feels so fuckin' good.

"The gay rights movement cannot abide a middle ground and a free exercise of religion for a simple reason — homosexuality is not normal in nature, in historic relationships, or in the sacred texts of almost all religions," Erickson went on, the euphoria just coursing around his entire being, an ecstasy, if you will. "Ultimately, over time, two thousand years of Christianity will be forced to be treated as the deviant lifestyle. You will be forced to pick a side. If you remain true to your God, you will be outside the bounds of acceptable conduct. You will be made to care."

Here's another take for Erickson, a hand of kindness reached out to someone who sees only demons where he should see human beings, a flower instead of a straitjacket: Religion adapts, evolves, changes as people change. When Christianity spread to Latin America (or was forced on the people there by cruel colonists and missionaries...sorry, trying to be nice here), the people put their own spin on the icons and the imagery and, yes, the message.  Back in the day, Christianity used to mean killing infidels, much like a sect of a certain, younger religion. But that was untenable in an industrializing, urbanizing, wider-educated Western world. So it changed. Churches were segregated in many places, with racism justified through sins of Cain or some such shit. That changed (well, it's not enforced, although many churches are still self-...ok, ok), too. When one group of Christians didn't like what another group of Christians was doing, they broke off and formed their own version of the faith.

In other words, stop being such a whiny cuntfaced ferret (or ferret-faced cunt, whichever way works better for you), Erick "Erick" Erickson. Your precious faith will survive because people are scared and ignorant and want to believe in phantoms and miracles. It just won't give a shit if someone is gay.

And those who still do? We'll call them "Christian extremists."