Democrats Once Again Put on Their Coward Pants (With Exceptions)

Look, you can cavil all you want about Kentucky Democratic Senate nominee Alison Lundergan Grimes's refusal to answer whether or not she voted for Barack Obama. You can sit there all self-satisfied and pat yourself on the fuckin' back that you support the sanctity of the secret ballot and that, really, it's not all that important that she answer. You can pretend all you want that Grimes is correct to stand on principle or that, if she said that she voted for Obama, it would be used in attack ads endlessly by that unrepentant, smug cuntface, Mitch McConnell. You know that it's far, far more important that McConnell refuses to say if he thinks climate change is human-caused or that Kynect, Kentucky's Obamacare exchange, would be harmed if you got rid of Obamacare, something the governor of Kentucky ripped McConnell for. That's shit that affects the daily lives of Kentuckians, not what Grimes did in a voting booth.

But you know in your heart of hearts that what you're really thinking is "Oh, fuck, Grimes, just fucking answer the motherfucking question." Because, see, you know what else makes a good ad? Grimes hemming and hawing about her vote, looking like she just got caught drinking milk out of the gallon jug. And you know that that's what's gonna get the headline after a debate because the media isn't allowed to say that climate change is real and that you're a goddamn moron or a lying sack of shit if you say otherwise.

Nearly every election, we've gotta go through this. We gotta watch as Democrats desperately try to portray themselves as salt-of-the-earth right-wingers (cue the ads of Democrats shooting shit). This time around, like in 2010 and 2014, we get to see them do the distancing dance, saying that they're not nigger-lovers, oh, no. They're "Clinton Democrats," as Grimes and others have called themselves, which is one of the most bullshit, racist phrases the Rude Pundit's seen since "urban youth." Once more, we're watching Democrats try to appeal to the yahoos when they should just rip the heads off their opponents and use the head to suck them off or eat them out like a fuck puppet.

And then, if someone does put out an ass-kicker of an ad, Democratic pussies run away, acting like their delicate sensibilities were just offended. Take, for instance, Texas Democratic gubernatorial candidate Wendy Davis's ad against her wheelchair-bound opponent, the odious scum-eater, Greg Abbott. In "Justice," we see an empty wheelchair as a serious narrator tells us that Abbott sued the fuck out of someone whose tree fell on him and won millions of dollars and then, as a lawyer, fought against others receiving compensation for their injuries. Yeah, Abbott's that special kind of hypocritical bastard, one who loves the taste of the sweat and tears of others: he speaks out against lawyers who try to get money for their injured clients.

So while Abbott gets to roll away from the substance of the ad, Davis gets excoriated. The Houston Chronicle called it "hamfisted" and "glib," while acknowledging that it brings up issues worth discussing. But discuss them? Fuck no. Wendy Davis did something mean. On MSNBC, Mika Brzezinski pointed her tits of outrage at Davis and fired. Andrea Mitchell went after Davis on her show That Thing with Andrea Mitchell, You Know, It's on MSNBC Around Lunch.

Davis is losing, so you could call it a "hail Mary," but it's a gut punch. Why are we not getting ads from Grimes saying that McConnell will take away people's health insurance? Is it because it will force Grimes to mention the-Negro-who-shall-not-be-named?

The other ad that's been causing a stir lately is from the Agenda Project (tip o' the hat to rude reader Jim on this one). It's a bad-ass motherfucker of one-minute thing that says Republican budget cuts to the CDC and NIH have fucked over the United States's ability to respond to a potential Ebola crisis. GOP Chair Reince Prepubescent is stompin' mad about it. It's being spun that the ad "blames Republicans" for Ebola. No, that's not what it does. It says that if shit goes south, guess who held the purse strings tight?

The failure of Democrats to show that Republicans would take away health care from millions of people and are responsible for our crumbling infrastructure and slow jobs recovery is a failure of imagination, messaging, and leadership. It's cowardice, purely and simply, and it's once again allowed Republicans to set the rules of engagement. Texas could have used a leader for the 21st century, not the mid-20th.

Well, the only comfort otherwise is that it's not like the Senate will get any less done if it does go Republican.