4/16/2014

The Lesson of the Bundy/BLM Standoff: The Government Allowed the Armed Right-Wing Assholes to Live

What the Rude Pundit understands about the just-concluded stand-off between the Bureau of Land Management and rancher Cliven Bundy and his merry band of other ranchers, children, and militia members, most of them armed, can be summed up in two pictures:


That's the assorted fucknuts, paranoiacs, and numbskulls gathered to defend Bundy's cows and their right to graze on protected federal land. (Some of the cows had been taken by the feds and held in pens.) They're also defending Bundy's desire not to pay the $1 million in fines he's been assessed for his 20 years of flouting the law. Bundy's just a crazed hick asshole, but he's a crazed hick asshole who hasn't given a shit about the law, spending more time losing in court than maybe campaigning for politicians who might change the laws (which is the way things are supposed to work). The land was protected to prevent the extinction of some species and to keep the habitat stable for wild horses. Fuck that, though. Bundy's cows liked free grass.

Of course, who gives a shit when a district court in Nevada ruled against Bundy and for the government, saying, "The public interest is best served by having the federal lands managed without the presence of trespassing cattle on lands that are closed to grazing. The public interest is also best served by removal of trespassing cattle that cause harm to natural and cultural resources or pose a threat to the health and safety of members of the public who use the federal lands for recreation. The court finds that the public interest is negatively affected by Bundy's continuing trespass."

Of course, the fucknuts, paranoiacs, and numbskulls all thought that this was an unconstitutional land grab or tyranny or the beginning of rancher death camps or whatever stupid shit Alex Jones and/or the voices in their damaged brains are telling them. Whatever it is, it requires a Second Amendment solution to keep their property rights that are given to them by God through the Constitution, which is exactly like Moses's tablets and not written by humans at all. Christ, the Rude Pundit is exhausted by simpleminded cocksuckers who wield the Constitution as if they actually understand anything other than a couple of the items they think are about them, like an asshole at a party who says he can play guitar but just strums the one or two chords he kind of knows.

The stand-off came to an end when the fucknuts et al blocked an interstate highway and got set up for the big armed battle (with the charming strategy of letting unarmed women get shot first because they thought that would gain them sympathy). The feds decided, "Oh, fuck it. Nobody needs to die over this literal bullshit. Release the cows." Bundy's son, who had been tasered by federal officers for kicking one of their dogs, declared victory and said, "The people have the power when they unite. The war has just begun." As some on the right have declared, you can view this as an act of civil disobedience over what gets to eat the grass, which is kind of sad, really. Still, you can imagine there was much hooting and hollering in celebration.

Which leads to photo number two:


That's what's left behind after the military drone missile bombs the living fuck out of some place in a desolate landscape, much like Nevada. "The war," if it ever came to that, would be over in a millisecond. But, no, please, lock and load, nutzoids.

The message to Bundy and his followers is simple: you are being indulged, like a child who threw himself on the floor of the Walmart, screaming because he just had to have that WWE action figure. And, frankly, when you start blockading roads and fucking up the land and pretending like you are anything more than a greedy motherfucker who doesn't want to pay his debts, it's hard to find sympathy.