Photos That Make the Rude Pundit Want to Force an Oil Exec to Eat a Sweet Crude-Coated Seagull

Texas sure has a literal way of celebrating the 25th anniversary of the Exxon Valdez spill in Prince William Sound. Yep, that's a barge partially sunk there and it leaked over 160,000 gallons of marine fuel oil into the Houston Ship Channel at Galveston Bay. While that's only about a fraction of the oil that fucked Alaska like a male polar bear on a Viagra-and-meth binge, it's still a whole lot of "heavy tar-like oil." It's closed one of the busiest waterways in the world for clean-up.

Oh, and hey, bonus points: the name of the ship that collided with the barge was "Summer Wind," which just sounds like global warming. It's like getting punched in the face by a stripper named "Chastity."

Oh, and hey, bonuser points: the oil spill comes at a time when tens of thousands of migratory birds will be camping out at the Bolivar Flats Shorebird Sanctuary, just east of the spill. The "sanctuary" part is ironic.

You know, Texas, you could have just sent flowers to Alaska. You didn't need to do the whole reenactment thing. But the accuracy is stunning. Why, you just want to break out the liquid soap and paper towels for old times sake.

Yes, when it comes to ruining the environment, everything old is always, always new again: