3/06/2014

Darrell Issa Has Questions, But You Are Not Allowed To Ask Yours

Darrell Issa Has Questions, But You Are Not Allowed To Ask Yours:
Yesterday, cock-nosed criminal Congressman Darrell Issa, a Republican who must represent a district of babies and brain-damaged people in California, continued with to act as if being the chair of a committee means, prima facie, you get to act like a total shitheel. As the chair of the Oversight Committee, Issa has been desperately trying to push something into a scandal to bring down President Obama, squeezing each tiny morsel like a constipated bowel trying to squirt out a small, dry turd.

At the hearing yesterday, Issa was wasting everyone's time by dragging the IRS's Lois Lerner in front of him so she could once again take the Fifth and not answer questions about how the IRS was allegedly targeting conservative groups for extra scrutiny before approving all of them for the status they wanted. And then Issa would get to go to CPAC or something and maybe some young right-wing blonde college student would tell him, "Oh, Darrell, I get climate change in my panties when you embarrass a witness." (Issa could then say, "Well, I guess it is real. Heh-heh.")

When he was done, he ended the hearing, despite the fact that the ranking Democrat, Elijah Cummings, wanted to speak. Issa gave him a second or two before cutting off his mic with the hand-across-the-throat mike-cutting gesture. He whispered something quietly to Cummings, probably "How dare you try to bring fairness to a Darrell Issa joint," and walked out as Cummings thundered his anger (which was immediately mocked by fucknut righties who masturbate to useless hearings before heading to CPAC to try to fuck Darrell Issa.)

Today, Issa released a list of seven questions he wants to ask Lerner. Through the magic being literate, the Rude Pundit can easily answer the questions for Issa. To wit:

Issa says, "In October 2010, Lerner told a Duke University group: 'The Supreme Court dealt a huge blow, overturning a 100-year-old precedent that basically corporations couldn’t give directly to political campaigns. And everyone is up in arms because they don’t like it. The Federal Election Commission can’t do anything about it. They want the IRS to fix the problem.' Who exactly wanted the IRS to “fix the problem” caused by Citizens United?"

Umm, according to the rules of grammar, the "they" in that last sentence is the Federal Election Commission. In fact, if you watch the fuckin' video of Lerner saying this, it's pretty goddamn clear what she means.

Issa asks, "In September 2010, Lerner e-mailed subordinates about initiating a 'c4 project,' but wrote: 'we need to be cautious so it isn’t a per se political project.' Why was Lerner worried about this being perceived as a political project?"

Again, look at the actual fuckin' words that are there, not the ones spinning around in your desperate-for-attention brain. She wasn't worried about it being "perceived" as political. That's not what "per se" means. She wanted to make sure the 501(c)4 project (whatever that was) wasn't political. Period.

Enough of this bullshit. There's no way at this point to satisfy the conspiracy whores. You could have the actual killers at Benghazi say, "Yo, it was spontaneous and that video really pissed us off," and the whores would tell us that Obama paid them off or had them murdered and replaced with actors. You could spend millions of dollars on an investigation of the IRS that proves there was no effort to specifically target conservatives and...oh, wait...that already happened.

Yeah, sorry, Elijah Cummings. You thought you were living in the real world, not the fantasy playground of a vindictive jack-off.