Thinning the Herd: Joe Arpaio's Cops and Militia Dolts Almost Kill Each Other

Thinning the Herd: Joe Arpaio's Cops and Militia Dolts Almost Kill Each Other:
Of all the shit-eating wannabe tough guys out there, few people can claim to have stepped up to the turd buffet to fill his plate as often as Arizona's Joe Arpaio, sheriff of Maricopa County and noted child molester consorter. When he's not exploiting undocumented immigrants in order to burnish his reputation as the biggest asshole in America, he's suckling at the sour teat of conservative fame, the place where you're worshiped by worthless pissbag-toting Rascal riders and their morbidly obese children in the sidecar. And probably Sean Hannity.

Oh, sure, Sheriff Joe has had hisself a grand old time fluffing up the barely sentient cocks of the Minutemen and other militia groups who take it on themselves to "patrol" the U.S. border, looking for Messicans they can round up as trophies. And the Minutemen? They love ol' Sheriff Joe. They love him for bein' brave enough to say that President Obama ain't Uhmerkan. Gave him a fuckin' award a few years back for arrestin' undocumented workers and makin' 'em stay in tents and wear prison stripes and other shit that have nothing to do with helping anything but Sheriff Joe's ego. They love him because Sheriff Joe, he defends the 2nd Amendment, says he ain't no-how, no-way gonna confiscate people's guns, no matter what that prez'dent says, even though the prez'dent's never said anything about confiscating guns.

So it must have been something of a surprise when one of these armed assholes at the border, thinking some Messicans were about to jump him, pointed his gun and yelled orders at one of Arpaio's deputies. The pure comedy part? When the deputy identified himself, the Minuteman, who we'll call "Cooter," because fuck that guy, said, "You aren’t taking my weapons." Poor Cooter. He never had a chance. Of course they took his weapons. Of course they arrested Cooter.

And, of course, Sheriff Joe made a statement where he said his deputies could have put "30 rounds" in the guy and added, without a hint of his own complicity, that there will be chaos "if you’re going to have private citizens dressed just like our deputies taking the law into their own hands." It's like Jeffrey Dahmer saying that the latest Cleveland serial killer should cut it out.  Cooter, for his part, went full Zimmerman, saying that he was standing his ground. According to his statement, "[H]e had the right to point his rifle at the individual because he had reasonable suspicion to believe a crime was occurring."

Now Cooter faces felony assault charges. And the Minutemen no longer have Sheriff Joe on their side. But the more important lesson here is for every barrel-fellating gun nut who thinks that he can defend himself from the evil government: you can't, Cooter. You just can't. In this case, the deputies of the man the militias thought was on their side disarmed the 2nd Amendment lover and threatened to kill him. Oh, Cooter, it's different facing armed authorities and not poor immigrants. And when you're cornered, you'll surrender without a fight.