Evangelical Family Research Council, as Completely Expected, Says Moore Disaster Is From God:
In an utterly predictable move, the evangelical Christian Family Research Council (motto: "Holier than thou, thou, and, yeah, thou in the back, too") says that the tornado that wiped out a large chunk of Moore, Oklahoma, was a message from God. This is not an Onion parody. It is sadly, awfully real.
The Rude Pundit received his weekly Prayer Target email yesterday, as is his reward for having signed up for the FRC's Super-Duper Prayer Team some years ago under a nom de rude. Each Wednesday (or Thursday, depending on who is feeling lazy), he gets his praypulation orders on various topics, usually gays, abortion, and gays, about which he should drop to his knees and give Jesus a shout-out.
Yesterday, he was a bit disturbed to read that, while we should pray for and give money to help the Moore victims, "there is more that we need to do in response to these and a growing number of devastating natural and man-made disasters that have been striking America in recent years." Whatever could it be? Funding for infrastructure reconstruction? Reduction of carbon emissions to slow the devastation of climate change? What?
Nope. Instead, the email quotes crazy-ass preacher Richard Owen Roberts saying (and let's let this go long because it's a crazy-ass quote from his crazy-ass call to "Solemn Assembly"), "Our Fathers believed God was offended by sin. They themselves were deeply troubled both by the existence of personal sin in their own lives and by the presence of unconfessed corporate sins in the churches and in the nation. They regarded natural calamities as manifestations of the displeasure of God Almighty against sin and allowed such events as earthquakes, fires, volcanoes, epidemics, floods, and droughts to prompt them to special seeking of God's face in fasting, prayer, and corporate repentance. They also sought the Lord in Solemn Assemblies in connection with wars, murders, rapes, etc., believing such outbursts of wickedness to be directly related to the general decline of moral and spiritual life in the churches." Man, we must suck so hard if God is always on the verge of "allowing" volcanoes to explode and wars to rage.
Lest you think that the FRC was merely just implying, wink-wink, that God is such a dick that he'd stone cold spree kill nine children in order to remind people that they need to tell him how awesome he is more regularly, the email evokes God, Jr. hisself: "Jesus asked his followers for their thoughts about those killed in two major disasters of their day. Did they suppose the victims were greater sinners than their unaffected countrymen? He answered his own question twice, 'I tell you, Nay: but, except ye repent, ye shall all likewise perish.' He warned of calamity to come for all men if they did not repent."
That's pretty clear, no? Picture Jesus holding a lightning bolt to the head of a 4th-grade girl, saying, "You. Down. On your knees. Repent or the kid gets it." That's a fine religion you got there.
(Remember: This is not fringe nonsense. FRC President Tony Perkins is a regular on the news networks, offering a conservative opinion on everything from gays to abortion to gays. He advises people like Texas Gov. Rick Perry, who will appear on his radio show today. And you can bet that Perkins will filthy up your TV screen soon talking about the Boy Scouts decision allowing gay scouts, but telling gay scoutmasters to take a hike in the woods alone.)
This section of the FRC email concludes with the odd statement that "The sovereign God of the Bible, who has protected America for four centuries, is calling the church and nation to return to her first love." Well, okay. The Rude Pundit's 2nd grade girlfriend, Sandy, is gonna be a bit surprised, but if it'll stop God from murdering people with tornadoes...