A Brief List of Obvious Things That Should Be Obvious:
1. Today's New York Times contains an editorial titled "Reporting Abuse" that says, in essence, "Hey, if you catch a grown-up fucking a child, you gotta tell the police." For some reason, when it comes to college coaches (or, you know, priests), this simple, obvious action has to be explained. So, to be clear, if you know someone's fucking a kid, don't tell your coach. Don't tell your administrator. Tell the cops. If you need this explained to you more than once, you should be arrested, too.

2. If you invite Ann Coulter onto your nice TV show, she will act cunty. On Morning Starbucks today, Coulter, who had been invited on by smug host Joe Scarborough over an exchange on Twitter, was bleeped out for calling John McCain a "douchebag" (he's more of a colostomy bag, so the edit's understandable). And then she called Ted Kennedy a "human pestilence," which led Team Joe to spend a great deal of time, post-cunt, praising and fluffing the reputation of Kennedy. Remember: A good 90% of Coulter's material comes from dissing Ted Kennedy.

3. Really? The right-wing psycho who killed 77 people in a Norway shooting spree is actually a psycho? Huh. Go figure.

4. Herman Cain really likes to bang (or try to bang) white women. The obvious thing here: wait, you mean a skeevy lobbyist and poisonous food hawker turned out to be a skeevy human being? How could we even think about not electing him president? Oh, and he's thinking of getting out of the campaign now. Just two days too late. Extra bonus humor points: Cain's lawyer saying that "No individual...should be questioned about his or her private sexual life." What country has he been living in?

5. If you're a cop and you're in hot pursuit of an old man on a bicycle who, at best, might be a little drunk, don't tase him. Just, you know, don't.

The sad part is how long this post could go on. Really? The Federal Reserve made secret deals with banks that allowed them to make billions of dollars with taxpayer bailout money? Really? We're gonna keep learning what an execrable scumfucker Rupert Murdoch and his employees are?

It'd be nice, every now and then, to just be pleasantly surprised that someone you wouldn't expect behaved with honor.