Your State Sucks Because Your Governor and Legislators Are Dicks:
Yes, even with the eternal dickishness of Republican legislative behavior when it comes to abortion, which is their favoritest issue, even with the totally dickish campaign to strip public workers of collective bargaining rights, GOP governors and their lackey co-conspirators in the legislatures have found new and exciting and unusual ways to be complete wads of dick. We're talking here about spending time on shit that's absolutely worthless except as a way of announcing, "Holy Christ, we're a bunch of dicks."

For instance, up in Maine, Governor Paul LePage (a.k.a. "The Guy From Teabagville") has ordered the removal of a 2008 mural in the Maine Department of Labor building because it depicts the history of labor in the state of Maine. So it's just inappropriate. Yep, it's got cobblers, child workers, and women mill workers. It's got images of workers voting to be in unions, organizing, and marching on Labor Day. It shows women strikers, Frances Perkins, FDR's Labor Secretary, who was from Maine, and women working in factories during WWII. Finally, it has an image from a 1986 strike in the state and one that represents the passing on of the legacy of laborers.

This pissed off someone who faxed LePage, "In studying the mural I also observed that this mural is nothing but propaganda to further the agenda of the Union movement. I felt for a moment that I was in communist North Korea where they use these murals to brainwash the masses." It was signed, in the spirit of open democracy, "A Secret Admirer." Because, see, apparently the Department of Labor is only supposed to exist to support corporations and business owners. Despite, you know, the name of the fucking department.

Said LePage, "I'm trying to send a message to everyone in the state that the state of Maine looks at employees and employers equally, neutrally and on balance." Of course, there being way more employees than employers, like, everywhere doesn't matter. It would have been easier if LePage had just said, "C'mon, everyone. I'm a big fucking dick. How else would I act?" And then to prove it, LePage also wants the names of all the Department of Labor's conference rooms changed because one's named for Perkins and another is named for Cesar Chavez. You can pretty much bet that, if he had the power to do so, the Edmund Muskie Federal Building would be renamed the Suck LePage's Balls Building.

Over in Ohio, which is in competition right now for America's dickiest state, the Senate there just voted to ban mention of federal stimulus funds on signs that mark construction done with federal stimulus funds. And that's fine and dandy: the Obama administration does not require such labeling of how your tax dollars are being spent to improve your roads and bridges. Of course, they also voted to allow advertising on state road signs. Classy all around.

GOP Governor John Kasich will sign the bill because he's all about the privatizing. He wants to divert funds from state liquor sales to a private not-for-profit organization called "JobsOhio," which will take the place of the state-run job recruitment office. Oh, the chairman of JobsOhio will be Governor Kasich. The money from state liquor sales, about $200 million a year, will essentially become a slush fund for Kasich. The Republican reasoning behind the elimination of the stimulus signs was that they were merely an advertisement for the successes of the Democrats. That was just too above-board a way to show job creation. It's much easier (and way more dickish) to bribe your rich friends under the table.

The fun part? You elected these dickheads, good citizens of these states, and now you've got huge buyer regret. Here's a tip: don't elect teabaggers or Fox "news" commentators.