A Note to Rich People: You Should Probably Be Thinking Ahead Right About Now:
If the Rude Pundit were a really, really rich motherfucker, like in the several hundred million and above club, he'd call a meeting of all his fellow really, really rich motherfuckers and he'd tell 'em that we've crossed a line, and, unless we want our houses burned down, our assets confiscated, our dogs raped, and our children killed like they were the brood of the Tsar, we better stop acting like such greedy pricks and demand that the people we all own in the government stop licking our taints clean for a little while and start acting like we're regular Americans, not First Class Black Card Americans.
The really, really rich Rude Pundit would point out that the filthy masses are getting all squirrely about collective bargaining rights and budget cuts on programs for the poor and middle class in order to pay for our tax cuts and the failure to prosecute a single person for shitcanning the economy. He'd then inform everyone that once the income gap gets more fully into the rhetorical mix, well, we really, really rich motherfuckers would be fucked and a half.
Yeah, the Rude Pundit would say, we've overplayed our hand. It's time, he'd say, it's long, long past time, he'd implore, for our taxes to be raised, that, let's stop being dickheads about it, we could afford a 20 or 30% hike in our income taxes, that we in the top 1% of income earners would still take home more than our fair share, 15% of the total income in the nation instead of the current 20%. He'd tell them we need to beg Congress and the state legislatures to hike taxes and use that money on things like education and food and health care and goddamned poison control hotlines.
And he'd sigh and tell 'em that we have to give up a few of the Wall Streeters to prison sentences. The gods of hedge fund mismanagement demand a sacrifice so that the people on pensions are appeased. Maybe a Lloyd Blankfein or a Stephen Schwarzman. And the bonuses? Kiss those fuckers good-bye.
Oh, sure, sure, there'd be a hell of an uproar. Idiots like David Koch would point out all the good works they do for, say, cancer research. Hell, he gave almost as much money to set up a cancer institute as he did to elect Republicans. A few others would say that they can just pick up and fly away to another country, to the UAE or some damn island. But the Rude Pundit would say that they're bluffing and that no place is safe right now.
"You understand how this ends?" the Rude Pundit would ask, slapping Kenneth Langone in the face. "You understand that it might take a few years, but at some point it's all gonna blow up?" He'd point to history, again and again, that oligarchies crumble, are ripped apart, are subjected to savage retribution. No, he'd cry out, we need to be proactive here. Give a little now and save a lot later. "The only thing we can hope is that it isn't too late or we're too fucking bloated and dumb to do it."