James O'Keefe and Chris Christie: A Conglomeration of Motherfuckers:
So here's the simple story: Fake pimp and wannabe rapist James O'Keefe, he of the deceptive videos that took down ACORN, decided that he hadn't gotten over teachers being mean to him when he was a kid in New Jersey. Since he's unable to blame himself for being such a fuckbag, he took it out on the teachers. He and his merry band of fuckbags and spoogebuckets invaded the East Brunswick Hilton's bar in order to secretly video record teachers at a New Jersey Educators Association conference. What horrific things did he discover? That when they're not on the clock, adults drink and say stupid shit and make fun of their bosses. It's gotta be a scandal, no? No, but, hey, that's never stopped fuckbags from their acts of fuckbaggery.

One teacher, Alissa Ploshnick, thinking she was just having a few drinks with a guy who was interested in her and her career, mentioned a case where a teacher had called a student a "nigger" and wasn't fired because of tenure protections. Ploshnick was suspended and denied a raise because she said the word "nigger" out loud. In a presumptively private conversation that she had no idea was being recorded. The conference, by the way, was about the education of special needs kids. Oh, and Ploshnick once threw herself in front of a speeding van to protect the kids it was heading for. Oh, and O'Keefe himself stalked her to her home to try to confront her about what she had said.

Wait, wait. It gets even more absurd. With this information, O'Keefe's black lackey (hmm, there's a word for that, but the Rude Pundit can't remember it right now) called the superintendent of the Passaic County school system and posed as the parent of the child who was insulted. He wants to know how the teacher would be punished. The superintendent patiently informs the badgering lackey that tenure guarantees due process for the teacher followed by a probable reprimand, but not firing. Then, the lackey tells the superintendent that he'd rather move his child out of the class and "keep it quiet." At first, the superintendent is flummoxed by this, saying it won't solve the problem, but he agrees. O'Keefe says this indicates that the school system wants to cover-up racism by the teachers. Mission accomplished.

Wait, wait. It gets even more absurd. So basically, even with the supposed juiciest parts edited into a charmingly nauseating package, what you've got is teachers after hours fucking around and a school superintendent trying to help a parent. So of course, Governor Chris "Notorious B.I.G." Christie shakes his jowls about it because if there's one thing Christie hates more than a lack of pie, it's unions, especially those shitheads in the teachers' union who don't just bow down to his enormous Christiosity. "If you need an example of what I’ve been talking about for the last nine months — about how the teacher’s union leadership is out of touch with the people and out of control — go watch this video," said the gelatinous governor.

All we need is Fox "news" doing its 24/7 dance of mad glee, and the circle of life will be complete. Motherfuckers all, doing a jig on the sweat of the people who work to make life a little better for the rest of us, all because O'Keefe is such a little bitch who has no journalistic sense, only a desire to get back at people he hates. Someone should be there to face rape him every day of his life so he could know what a piece of shit he actually is.

You know, not to offer such a self-aggrandizing scandal-monger any shot at redemption, but here's something James O'Keefe once wrote while an asshole conservative student at Rutgers in 2003: "Thousands of innocent people are confined to desperately scavenging for a job to feed their children while the criminals who took their livelihood throw multi-million dollar parties at ski resorts." He was outraged at people like Tyco CEO Dennis Kozlowski and other "vermin," as he put it, who dicked over their employees and stockholders and made billions. He wrote, "Of course, the general public doesn't seem to care. People focus more on Howard Dean's statement about 'southerners in their pick-up trucks' than on their hard-earned investment money being embezzled."

That James O'Keefe sounds like he could have been a hell of a reporter.