Gitmo Detainees in America: What We Should Really Fear:
Maybe the Rude Pundit's naive, but he's simply not afraid of a bunch of mostly former cave-dwelling, goatherding hole-shitters who joined up with the wrong warlord at the wrong time and who have been driven incoherently mad by isolation, torture, and imprisonment. No, in the Big Book of Shit What Keeps Him Up at Night, the Gitmo detainees don't even make an appearance. The Rude Pundit's just not feeling threatened by people who might just get scared by the sight of an iPhone. And he think anyone who is actually scared, and not just in it for the fear-up-the-yokels vote, is pretty much a big, wet pussy.

He's also not even remotely concerned about moving the Gitmomates to the United States, trying them, freeing the ones who didn't do shit, and putting the others in prison. How many fucking successful prison breaks have there been in this country? Like, in the last couple of decades? Where they didn't recapture the escapees almost immediately? C'mon, name one that's not a Shawshank fantasy in your brain.

And since those, to be generous, couple of dozen of the couple of hundred remaining at Spa Guantanamo who could probably be convicted of crimes would be held in our most inhuman of human spaces, the Supermax prison, is there actually any chance at all they'd escape? If you think they would, then you're living in a movie, motherfucker, and there's no talking to you. You know what it's like in Supermax, the one in Colorado, where a genuine hardcore terrorist badass like Ramzi Yousef lives?

Check this shit out: "Large cables are strung above the basketball courts and track for no apparent reason. 'Those are helicopter deterrents,' a corrections official explains. 'We are not really worried about a chopper escape attempt, but you've got to be prepared.'" But, sure, if you're worried, build a fucking moat and fill it with robot sharks. However, if we've learned anything from shitty flicks, the robot sharks will run amok and need to be taken out by Dolph Lundgren. The prisoners? Sure, they may shank each other, but, hey, fuck 'em, right? They be driven insane by 23-hour a day isolation. They may more or less be living in Gitmos on the continent. But this ain't about the general failure of the American penal system or the blatant racism that inflicts this whole discussion. (And, you know, if these were a bunch of white guys from Europe at Gitmo, wouldn't this have been over years ago?)

No, this is about our punk ass politicians.

Because, let us say, and why not, that we transfer the Gitmoers to Supermax. And let us say that one of the guys that's really a terrorist escapes. And let us continue to say the escaped terrorist goes right to Denver, traversing a hundred miles of mountains to do it, and hooks up with a terror cell. And let us say, in this increasingly remotest of remote scenarios, that the escaped terrorist gets a dirty bomb, you know, one of those mythical suitcase nukes, and he blows it up in a mall in Denver suburbs.

Now, how many of those affected by the escaped terrorist's actions will need medical insurance to cover their injuries? (And this doesn't have to have been committed by a former Gitmo detainee.) Remember: we're not just talking about the immediate impact. We're talking about the radiation poisoning lasting, potentially, for years. What about the families who lose the spouse, the partner, the mother or father whose job provides medical insurance for the kids? Are they bereft of health care now? 9/11 families didn't get free health care for life (although some companies provided lower-cost premiums - no, really). Ripple effects, motherfuckers, ripple effects. Now there's a real, tangible fear.

In other words, the Rude Pundit doesn't give a grunting pig fuck about potential risks in bringing Gitmoians to the United States. The short-sighted Democrats who put the kibosh on the funding for closing the camp forget that that act is actually about restoring the United States's standing in the world.

But when some craven Republican he-whore exclaims that about the Gitmo detainees "They get better health care than the average American citizen does" and then proudly stands in the way of Americans getting health care coverage, well, what's the real threat to the United States? What and who do we really need to be afraid of? What's an actual national security issue?