Big Gay Friday:
Oh, sweet twatmongers and cocksuckers, how we are teetering on the brink, breathlessly close to the tipping point, to the dominoes falling, to the lit fuse finally hitting the barrel of gunpowder. As state after state breaks down the barrier to gay marriage, as discussion of overturning "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" comes out of the closet, as it seems, to more and more and more of the citizens of this country that it's just idiotic to still be having these debates, we are reminded, time and again, that there's fuckers blocking the door. Like Republicans, these are becoming rare, isolated fools who have just enough power to fuck things up, but they still look like backwards fools in our brave, new, yet undefined era. To wit:
1. Pat Robertson, demonstrating that, no, really, he's still alive, said on The 700 Club (motto: "Wait, people are still watching us?"), regarding Maine's legalization of gay marriage, "But if we take biblical standards away in homosexuality, what about [polygamy]? And what about bestiality and ultimately what about child molestation and pedophilia? How can we criminalize these things and at the same time have constitutional amendments allowing same-sex marriage among homosexuals. You mark my words, this is just the beginning in a long downward slide in relation to all the things that we consider to be abhorrent." And the best part is that he wasn't joking, that he didn't finish with, "No, ya'll, I'm just joshin'. I just hate queers."
Oh, yeah, the Rude Pundit's crossing his fingers that soon he'll get to marry all ten of that litter of hot ass pug puppies next door. His penis can barely contain itself in anticipation.
Robertson may be able to relax and know that his lobster hasn't been sodomized because there's already an effort underway in Maine to try to overturn the new law.
2. Alabama Senator Jeff Sessions, who is leading the Republican effort to figure out what the fuck to do about President Obama's Supreme Court nominee, said, "I don't think a person who acknowledges that they have gay tendencies is disqualified per se for the job." Which would seem to be good news for Lindsey Graham, except he keeps his tendencies unacknowledged, however blatant they may be.
3. On "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," which is also the answer to the question, "How many gay military translators does it take to stop a terrorist attack?" there's mixed signals coming from the White House. Obama wrote to a recently booted lesbian army officer to say that he is committed to overturning the inane policy. And yet the administration seems to be allowing a gay National Guard officer to be drummed out on its watch, when the President has the power to stop it. This isn't over yet, so let's leave it dangling before offering condemnation, although it's filled with suckage as it stands.
4. Finally, let's also acknowledge that, whatever advances are made, that even simple acts of saying who you are are still acts of bravery. Actor David Ogden Stiers (from TV's MASH and a lot of goddamn animated films) recently said that he is gay. In an interview with the blog Gossip Boy, Stiers admitted he had stayed in the closet because of his career and added, "I wish to spend my life’s twilight being just who I am. I could claim noble reasons as coming out in order to move gay rights forward, but I must admit it is for far more selfish reasons. Now is the time I wish to find someone and I do not desire to force any potential partner to live a life of extreme discretion with me."
Stiers is also a longtime reader of this blog, so the Rude Pundit would like to add, "Hey, man, fuckin' cool."