Great Moments in Punditry (Jack Cafferty Edition):
By far, the best exchange the Rude Pundit saw this past week was a quick little bit of interplay over on CNN's Situation Room with Wolf "My Beard Is as Lupine as My Name" Blitzer this past Wednesday. In the 6 p.m. hour, Blitzer was holding forth with his Most Awesomely Splendiferous Political Panel in the History of Humankind, or whatever the fuck CNN is calling it, and that'd be Gloria Borger, Jeffrey Toobin, and designated grumpy old bastard Jack Cafferty.
Cafferty's one of the last of a dying breed of TV news personalities, an old school New York journalist from back in the Anchorman days. But this is a fucker who at least seems like he's had whiskey-filled drunk nights with cops, shared hookers with Mike Milken, and threatened to beat down Donald Trump. However much that may or may not be true, the man acts as if he's got the license to say whatever the hell he wants, and a good three-quarters of the time he presents liberal beliefs as just so-obvious-it's-ridiculous common sense. George Lakoff should take notes. And the Rude Pundit always appreciates anyone who's willing to call motherfuckers "motherfuckers," as Cafferty did recently with the Chinese leadership (pre-earthquake).
However, this moment has nothing to do with journalism or opinions. It has to do with this:
Borger, making a point about the coming unity in the Democratic party, said, "So if you think you're going to -- you want the money shot of them with their arms in the air, you're going to get it. It's in both of their self-interest right now to do that."
While Borger continued, Cafferty's attention was piqued by a turn of phrase used by Borger. He asked, "Did you say the money shot?"
Borger, a bit confused, responded, "The money shot. You know, yes."
Cafferty said, "Oh."
Borger looked confused while Cafferty stared wryly right at Toobin, who gave the barest of smirks, until Toobin said to a stumbling Blitzer and Borger, "Jack and I will keep that to ourselves." Then they all moved on.
A "money shot," in case you don't know, is the moment in a pornographic movie when the actual male ejaculation is filmed. It is also known as a "cum shot." Often, the ejaculation is spewed onto the face or into the mouth of the actor's partner, male or female. Indeed, so important is the money shot that, in most pornography, the male whose penis is in the position to ejaculate will remove said penis from whatever orifice is being used to provoke ejaculation to show the penis in the act of ejaculating. The money shot is an accepted, nearly universal part of pornography, despite the fact that when most males ejaculate, they prefer to plunge their penises deeply into the aforementioned orifices. Additionally, according to the economics of the pornography industry, males do not get paid for their work unless they provide a filmable ejaculation because, even if the film has shown a close-up of a penis entering a mouth, anus, vagina, or well-crafted plate of Jello, viewers may not believe real sex has occurred.
So, obviously, Cafferty was amused that Borger had used the phrase "money shot" (which can also mean an expensive or highly emotional scene in films pornographic or not). It was the Ron Burgundy leer coming through, and the old guy was attempting to bond with Toobin over it. It was kind of like when, say, David Brinkley and John Chancellor would toast the TV screen whenever Jessica Savitch had to say, "Malcolm Baldridge" or "Dick Schweiker."
Yeah, some things never die.