Why Ann Coulter Is a Cunt, Part 1078:
Because the Rude Pundit takes bullets for you, he has reviewed the year-in-review columns on townhall.com, your clearing house for right-wing wackosity. Apparently, 2004 was quite a banner year. What, with liberty spreading in "unimagined" ways, liberals "wrong" about everything, and the de-throning of Dan Rather, goddamn, it was as if every good little boy's and girl's wishes would, at long last, come true. Indeed, according to Jack Kemp, we are on the verge of "a Golden Age."
No one excels at this kind of deranged lying and propaganda better than Ann Coulter, who, in her end of the year "column" (if by "column," you mean "crazed scratchings with bloodied fingernails on a shithouse wall"), runs through every conservative bullshit story from the year. Yep, from the lie about Sandy Berger stuffing top secret documents in his pants to supporting the veracity of John O'Neill and the Swift Boat Vets for "Truth," Coulter lifts every grimy stone and smears herself with mud and shit, wallowing in the decadent smell of rot.
More repulsively, Coulter mocks the Abu Ghraib torture scandal, once again treating the whole thing as if it's just a bunch of oh-so-playful, wacky hijinks by soldiers gently goading the enemy. See? It's like Sgt. Bilko, except with more sodomy and electrodes attached to balls. ("Private Doberman, get over here and put this dog chain on the prisoner.")
And most repulsive, in fact, most repulsive of all the year-in-review articles, is the elevation of Pat Tillman to saint. The pro-football player volunteered for the military and was killed in Afghanistan. Coulter oozes her own brand of slug love all over Tillman's memory, using him to mock John Kerry and Michael Moore, leaving off the crucial detail that Tillman was killed by friendly fire on a mission that was ill-equipped, untrained, and loaded with fuck-ups every step of the way.
Yeah, Coulter's factually correct when she sleazes, "American hero Pat Tillman won a Silver Star this year. But unlike Kerry, he did not write his own recommendation or live to throw his medals over the White House fence in an anti-war rally." Uhh, that'd be because he was dead, Ann. And, you know, because the relatives of the dead and wounded are only useful when they blindly support the cause, one can be sure Coulter has little use for the now famous words of Tillman's brother, Rich, at the funeral, "Pat isn't with God. He's fucking dead. He wasn't religious. So thank you for your thoughts, but he's fucking dead."
Oh, yeah, what a shiny, shiny year for the right. Clear skies and nothin' but smooth-sailin' here on out.