A Shit Fight in a Monkey House

Let's see if we can get this right:

1. The Washington Post reported that, in a meeting with members of Congress over a deal on immigration that would, among other things, protect the kids now covered under DACA as well as give money for the border "wall" (which isn't really a wall anymore, but just some fencing, a smidge of wall, and more surveillance, but, sure, shorthand, call it a "wall"), President Donald Trump questioned, "Why are we having all these people from shithole countries come here?"

2. Word got out that not only did Trump say it, but he called his pals to say something like, "Man, I really gave it to those poor, oppressed, starving people. I called their homelands 'shithole countries.'"

3. Sen. Dick Durbin, the sole Democrat in the room, confirmed that Trump indeed said the phrase "shithole countries," among other expletives and degrading remarks.

4. Sen. Lindsey Graham pretty much confirmed Durbin's confirmation of "shithole."

5. Trump tweeted a denial of "shithole." And he attacked Durbin, blaming him and Democrats for, I assume, forcing him to say or not say "shithole."

5.5. Which is totally fucking absurd since during the campaign, in front of crowds, Trump said that he'd both "bomb the shit" and "beat the shit" out of ISIS.

6. Two other senators in the room, both Republicans, at first said they couldn't recall Trump saying "shithole" and later decided that Trump didn't say "shithole" at all. In fact, he said, "shithouse," as in "shithouse countries." So they can deny Trump said "shithole."

6.5. Apparently, "shithouse" is better because, according to two different reporters, it indicates that Trump was either thinking about the lack of indoor plumbing in some countries (thus engendering a need to use an outhouse or "shithouse") or the quality of real estate in those countries.

6.7. I feel it's necessary to point out that everyone involved in this is a grown-up and an elected or appointed official of the United States government (or a reporter), all of whom you know say things like "shithole" and worse because they are fuckin' grown-ups.

6.8. Why stop at "shithouse"? Why not "shitwhore countries," where the prostitutes are not very good? Why not "shithose countries," referring to a lack of quality gardening products? Why not "shithowl countries," places where the food is so spicy that you yell while taking a dump in the shithole of the shithouse? Fuck, get creative, you dicks.

7. Press Secretary Sarah Sanders admitted that "strong language" was used in the meeting but refused to confirm whether "shithole" or "shithouse" was used.

8. Today, at a hearing of the Senate Judiciary Hearing, Secretary of Homeland Security Kirstjen Nielsen, who had been present at the Oval Office meeting that started this shit, was grilled by Durbin but refused to confirm that Trump said "shithole." And then Sen. Cory Booker hulked out on Nielsen, rubbing her nose in the shit she was spewing.

Lost in this pile of shit is that the president of the United States, members of his administration, and more than a few members of Congress oppose a deal on immigration that partially funds his "wall," cuts the visa lottery, and reduces chain migration, all things Republicans want, because that deal is too kind to people from "shithole countries" (in that it still allows them in) and it includes help for Haitians and others who have Temporary Protected Status that has been revoked. They want to make policy based on open, blatant, intentional racism (let's face it - lots of policies are racist, but at least politicians have enough shame not to just say it).

Oh, and Trump wants more people from Europe. You know, white people. As he said, according to Durbin, "Put me down for wanting more Europeans to come to this country. Why don't we get more people from Norway?"

Let's answer that question in a way Trump might understand: it's because they don't like orange people.