Donald Trump Taught Me That My Hatred Has No End

Every once in a while, someone will write to me or tweet at me something like "I don't hate Donald Trump; I just disagree with him." I don't respond because, all of a sudden, the vein in my temple starts to throb and I twitch a little and all the pot in the world won't calm that down. Because, see, I do hate Donald Trump. And I don't think there is anything wrong with feeling that or saying that. I viscerally, deep in my soul hate him.

I always had a vague feeling of loathing towards him over the years, when he was a skeevy rich guy who disposed of wives and sexualized his oldest daughter and built awful properties with his noxious name obnoxiously emblazoned on them. But, now that he's president, it has blossomed into full-blown, honest hatred. And it's not just him. It's everyone he's surrounded himself with, like Bannon, Sessions, Spicer, Gorka, that worm Miller. And that includes those who just seem sad or lost or pathetic or buffoonish, like Ben Carson or Kellyanne Conway.

For a long time, I thought I knew what hatred was because I did hate George W. Bush (or, more properly, I do still hate him, but it's more of a legacy hate). I hated Bush and his merry band of war criminals and incompetents because there were people in that administration who were smart, who knew better, and who made a tactical decision to be cruel or oblivious or both at the same time. I believed that, as far as people who affected me on a daily basis (so, you know, that leaves out Hitler, serial killers, and all slaveholders), I could never hate anyone as much as I hated Bush.

Man, I was wrong. Donald Trump has taught me in the last couple of months that there is no bottom to the depths of my ability to hate someone. Every day, every new story, every wrinkle to the old stories, pushes that hatred deeper. Hell, just today, Trump, his administration, and the Congress that is aching to do his bidding have committed a pile of hateable acts:

- Trump signed a new Muslim ban despite the fact that the Department of Homeland Security said it was useless.

- Trump continues to ask for an investigation of former (anguished liberal sigh) President Obama based on a fantasy Trump has that Obama personally had him wiretapped. And members of Congress seem perfectly willing to go along with this fantasy even if they know it's just a fantasy.

- Republicans in the House finally released their "replacement" for the Affordable Care Act, one that provides less coverage and has far harsher penalties for people without health insurance while giving the wealthy a big tax break, with an extra-special bigger tax break for health care company CEOs.

- DHS Secretary John Kelly said that undocumented mothers might be separated from their children if caught at the border, ending some family detention and surely breaking up families.

- The Supreme Court decided not to hear the case of a transgender student who wanted to use the bathroom of his gender identity because the Trump administration changed the rule that the case was based on.

- This is not to mention a hundred other things, including the ongoing questions about Russia, Trump's business dealings, and more, and this ain't even getting into whatever is occurring with Khizr Khan, the American father of an American Muslim soldier killed in Iraq.

This is one day. And it isn't over yet. I'm sure that while I'm writing this, some other insane thing will happen. None of these are minor annoyances. I haven't mentioned a single tweet from Trump. No, these are all things that have an effect on millions of people, if not the entire nation, if not the entire world. So, yeah, I hate this man. But I don't just hate him for what he's doing. I hate him for who he is and how he got here.

I hate Donald Trump because he knew that he was getting in over his head and he still thought he could just cruise through this job like he's cruised through his life. I hate him and his family and everyone around him because no one had the guts to say, "No, Donald/Dad/Sir/Dahling, you are not smart enough, wise enough, skilled enough, experienced enough to be president. Knock it off." I hate him because he's either a pathetic and deluded madman or a flailing criminal or both. And my hatred will only grow deeper and deeper because, like I said, Donald Trump has shown me my capacity for hate.

This isn't a violent hatred, though. I don't want Trump harmed. But I want him to have to watch it all crumble, his fake empire, his precarious fortune, everything. I want him to have to watch as he becomes bereft of all the weak barricades that prevent him from realizing how loathed he is, and I want to watch his face when it hits him that the love and approval he so desperately craves has turned him into the punchline at the end of his life.

Here is the thing: I need this hatred. It makes me feel like I have some control left. It's not a substitute for action. But it is the very thing that spurs me to want to act, vote, speak, march, resist, and love, yes, love those who share this hatred so we can unify in our hate to figure out how to use it.

(Note to any conservatives who say, "I thought liberals were all about love and compassion": No, we're not when it comes to those with power. That's your idiotic stereotype because you are a worthless moron.)