How the Nutzoid Right-Wing Fails to Tell Its Audience What's Real (Micro Version)

How the Nutzoid Right-Wing Fails to Tell Its Audience What's Real (Micro Version):
The Rude Pundit rarely writes about the blog posts of others. It happens about as often as he scribbles on the comments section of something (which usually happens after a few whiskey shots on a dark and soul-killing night, as is the way with internet commenters). It's generally not worth the trouble because most right-wing bloggers are so thin-skinned that the slightest prick makes them yowl as if they've been shivved in the shower, and that's just a time-consuming pain in the ass to deal with.

But let's make an exception here today because, while idiotically clicking on a link that looked shiny, he came across a post on the website Hot Air (motto: "We were here before Breitbart, damnit. Is anyone there? Anyone?") that we should discuss because it's a vivid catalog of so many things wrong with the nutzoid right that it should be taught at journalism schools.

Ostensibly, Jazz Shaw (no, really) is writing about a simple enough story. The AP reported that a pregnant woman and her boyfriend were on their way to the hospital in Annapolis, Maryland, when they were confronted by three armed, masked robbers. "The boyfriend fled," says the brief article, and the robbers took the woman's car and left her. The article ends with the police arresting two of the men and the woman getting to the hospital, presumably to give birth.

For Jazz Shaw (take it from someone who has a kind of funny name: that's a dumbass name), this is a cause for hilarity and condemnation. Hilarity: The title of the blog post is "Brave Sir Robin ran away," which is a Monty Python joke that you should totally know, you son of a silly person. But mostly, this story just "got under my skin," says Jizz Saw.

Why? Because the boyfriend didn't have a gun to defend his woman: "From time to time we highlight some news items here about responsible gun owners who thwart crime by way of exercising their God given Second Amendment rights, but that really only tells one half of the story. Unfortunately, there are other tales out there across America – sadly, far too many to keep track of – where people react differently and things don’t go as well." Obviously, Maryland is a state of pussies that doesn't have a concealed carry law.

Now that Jack Shit has fellated the gun lovers, he is ready to go to town. Questioning the masculinty of the boyfriend? Check: "[F]or some people there comes a point in life where a man is put to a galvanizing test, and this was your moment." An attack on an urban area? Check: "Let’s face it… if you find anyone not wearing a police or military uniform in Annapolis who has a gun, odds are probably better than 99% that they’re a criminal." Getting the fucking story wrong? Double fucking check, Jan Shart.

See, two minutes of checking would have turned up another report on the story from the Baltimore Sun. In that telling (by the normal-named reporter Tim Swift - although, truth be told, it does sound like a boy adventurer), it was a carjacking, which is why a car was stolen. In that telling, the boyfriend "fled and called for help." Wonder how the cops showed up so quickly that they were able to chase and capture the thieves? That's why. Maybe he should have stayed by the girlfriend, but he didn't just run screaming into the night, as DJ Jazzy Shaw seems to think. Or maybe he looked at his girlfriend and said, "Wait here while I get help" because she was in labor and couldn't fucking run. It's a bit more plausible, no?

Oh, and the crime rate in Annapolis, once very high, is below the national average, as it has been for the last few years. So you're just being a dick to act like it's as dangerous as it was six or seven years ago, currently discussed carjacking notwithstanding.

So what have we learned? That a right-wing blogger would rather attack someone without having all the facts. And he seems to imply that if the boyfriend (or, hell, the pregnant girlfriend) had had a gun, this all would have gone down differently, as if the preferred outcome here was several people possibly shot, possibly dead, but, hey, at least a man would have been a real man and he'd've exercised his "God given Second Amendment rights," so, yeah, that'll show 'em.

The point here, in micro, is that in this world of bifurcated coverage and half-news, there are too, too many people who get a nitwit's version of the truth and pretend like they know what's real, whether it's about the Ukraine, Obamacare, a "war" on Christianity, or something as simple as street crime in Annapolis.

(Useless Note to Jazz: When the Rude Pundit gets a story wrong, he says so. If you correct your post, then he will apologize for the childish name-calling.)