The Path to More Equal Equality: The Prop 8 Ruling Reams the Religious Right:
The defenders of California's Proposition 8 certainly expected there to be fucking when the decision was announced in the case challenging its constitutionality. Whether it would be good straight Mormons and Christians fucking missionary style in celebration of a victory for man-on-woman marriage or the revolting display of homosexuals in jubilation and fucking other homosexuals in ways that no Jesus or Joseph Smith-loving real human could enjoy. The ass? The mouth actually on the organs of filthy whoredom? Chilling.
What the Alliance Defense Fund team members did not expect when they lost was how roughly U.S. District Court Judge Vaughn R. Walker would fuck them. No, they couldn't have known that Walker would actually bend them over the bench and rip down their pants and, wearing a ten-inch studded strap-on because he didn't want his dick to actually touch them, fuck their asses raw. And the ADF? They just had to take it because that was the bargain they made: fuck or be fucked. Surely, this was a hate fuck for the ages. Strangely, though, they discovered, the whole effort made their prostates feel kind of good and that, even as Walker said, "God, you're such good little bitches," they were kind of enjoying it. Why? Oh, that's a mystery we shall return to in a moment.
To read the ruling overturning the will of the stupid and frightened percentage of Californians is to see just how a judge can use the Constitution of the United States to eviscerate the ignorant. Look at this shit: On page 6, Walker writes, "A state’s interest in an enactment must of course be secular in nature. The state does not have an interest in enforcing private moral or religious beliefs without an accompanying secular purpose." There's no question that governments are secular. Shove your morality, motherfuckers, and put your Christian nation up there with it. We're makin' laws for everyone here.
You really need to read the whole thing. It is a beautiful piece, filled with things like this on page 24, when Walker was talking about the will of the voters versus what experts have to say on a subject: "When challenged, however, the voters’ determinations must find at least some support in evidence. This is especially so when those determinations enact into law classifications of persons. Conjecture, speculation and fears are not enough. Still less will the moral disapprobation of a group or class of citizens suffice, no matter how large the majority that shares that view." You can't pass laws that are based in your ignorance. That's called "mob rule." The anti-gay marriage crowd really doesn't have a crippled leg to stand on. The minority has rights, too, and that's what gets forgotten so very often.
The syrup on the top of this delicious stack of jurisprudence hotcakes? That the whole thing came down to how Proposition 8 violates the 14th Amendment to the Constitution, which is about way more than just birth and citizenship. In a much-quoted passage, Walker says on page 135, "Because Proposition 8 disadvantages gays and lesbians without any rational justification, Proposition 8 violates the Equal Protection Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment." Or, in other words, gay marriage opponents are irrational. And we can't have the irrational and hysterical tell us how to run the country. How soon until the "repeal the 14th" crowd puts this in their quiver along with babies of illegal immigrants?
Beyond the irony that Walker was nominated for the court by George Bush, Sr., beyond the new sputtering about the fact that Walker is gay (even if he's decided against gay causes in the past), there's another piece of the puzzle that Dahlia Lithwick brings up in Slate. Walker's decision has an eye clearly on a future Supreme Court appeal, and he repeatedly cites opinions written by that court's swing vote, Justice Anthony Kennedy. Using Kennedy's pro-gay rights writings over a dozen times, Walker seems to be signaling to the defendants that, really, truly, you motherfuckers are on the side of a losing cause.
Which gets us back to that moment in the fucking when the ADF, indeed, when all the pathetic anti-gay marriage crowd found themselves getting boners, getting wet, even as Walker buggered them until he stretched their assholes out. Now, they have a cause to rally the faithful to, a reason to fight on, and, most importantly, a way to keep getting cash money from the flock of oh-so-many sheep, whether they win or lose.