John McCain Won't Eat Pork:
The whole battle over a bullshit modicum of bullshit "pork barrel" projects is, well, bullshit. What's budgeted in the spending bill now before Congress for what some members consider pork and others consider essential spending in their districts or states is about 5% of the AIG bailout. And there's wee little John McCain, America's angriest leprechaun, jumpin' about and swingin' his crooked shillelagh like someone stole his pot o' gold, puffin' his pipe madly over 9000 "unnecessary and wasteful earmarks." Motherfucker's gotten on Twitter (users' motto: "Sweet Jesus, my life is such an unbearable void that I need to encourage stalkers") to crap out whatever his advisors tell him are the day's "10 Porkiest Projects."

As ever, as ever, one person's pork is another person's meat. And while loads of members of both parties have jumped on the hate-the-piggy wagon, let's just take a look or two at some of these hateful wastes of our money.

McCain cites "$632,000 for the Hungry Horse Project." What's cool about Twitter is that it allows you to say shit completely devoid of context or explanation. See, if you leave it at those few words, you may think, "Well, gee, shouldn't the horse's owners just feed them?" At which point, you would be a fucking idiot. Understandably so, but a fucking idiot no less. 'Cause, using the magic of the Google machine, the Hungry Horse Project is actually a dam, reservoir, and power plant in Montana. It provides hydroelectric power, flood control, and a great outdoor recreation area for the Columbia River basin. A bit above a half million for maintenance doesn't really seem like that much, but, then again, the Rude Pundit doesn't wanna shake his tiny fist at Mammon and Obama.

McCain tweets, "$3,806,000 for a Sun Grant Initiative in SD." That'd be about research at South Dakota State University, which works with schools around the nation to develop biofuels. You might think of this as a long-term investment in energy independence, but, then again, you are a fuckin' liberal tool who just wants to throw money at a problem.

And on and on: "$59,000 for Dismal Swamp and Dismal Swamp Canal in Virginia," which, again, sounds damn funny, except that Dismal Swamp is a national wildlife refuge maintained by the federal government, which means that it sometimes needs money so that it can be, you know, maintained.

McCain is such a baboon about this shit, mocking anything that has to do with science. And anything that has to do with community development. Are there stupid things in the bill? Fuck yeah. But we're talking $7 billion in a $410 billion bill to keep the government running. And if that's all you've got to bitch about, if you won't fuck that guy because he's got a mole on his arm, then you are just a vain bastard who loves to hear himself moan when he jacks off.