Conservatives Are Right: This Is About Abortion

Making the rounds in conservative shit-tossing circles in the last day or so is that Dr. Christine Blasey Ford's allegation that Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh attempted to rape her in 1982 when they were both in high school wouldn't have been heard at all if Kavanaugh were a solid vote to uphold Roe v. Wade. "It's about abortion," they say, these bloated white men who rarely see the sun from their snake holes. And it really is an all-star line-up of demi-human fuck rags that are asserting this

Erick "Erick" Erickson, over on his website The Regurgitant, stated flatly that Democrats are supporting Ford and attacking Kavanaugh "in order to protect the right to kill girls in utero." Yes, this pasty motherfucker, who tells us over and over to love each other because GodJeebus wrote it in his wacky book of fairy tales, said, "This entire thing is about the right to kill kids, not about the veracity of the accusation." Although, you know, no one accused Neil Gorsuch of attempted rape, so were Democrats just lazy then?

Over on his radio show, Shakey the Deaf Clown's Masturbatorium of Rage, Rush Limbaugh blurbled, "This is all about abortion. It is about nothing else as far as the left is concerned. They want to be able to continue uninterrupted with their behavior when it comes to abortion. Sex without consequence, life without consequence. They are scared to death that a Republican or a conservative majority is going to overturn Roe vs. Wade." And then he unhinged his jaw to eat the array of puppies laid before him at the start of every episode.

On his Fox "news," Tucker Carlson spoke up before being bitch-slapped on his show, Everyone Bitch Slaps Tucker Carlson, offering, "Does anyone really believe the story would have surfaced if Brett Kavanaugh had pledged allegiance to Roe v Wade? Of course, it wouldn't have." And then he went on to burn a cross, salute Hitler, and get bitch slapped by whichever vaguely liberal guest he had on to bitch slap him, all while he stared out at us like the most racist and confused cocker spaniel ever.

And, you know, let's be fair: they're right that this is about abortion. Except not in the way they're putting it. 'Cause, see, what it's really about is that woman-hating conservatives know that Kavanaugh is the final vote to overturn Roe v. Wade, and that's the fuckin' goal here. Kavanaugh is the pay-off for decades of support, through money and votes, of the evangelical nutzoid right.

They've been wearing their knees out since the Reagan era, praying and drooling over the prospect of shitcanning abortion rights and forcing all those whores to have their goddamn babies. They thought that Robert Bork would be their black-robed savior back in 1987, but those liberal motherfuckers made a case about Bork being batshit insane, and so Reagan nominated Anthony Kennedy after the Senate voted Bork down, and that heathen son of a bitch Kennedy kept upholding Roe. It's fuckin' poetic to these savage zealots that Kavanaugh would take Kennedy's place and do what Kennedy didn't and what Bork would have.

So let's reverse this shit here. Yeah, it's about abortion. Because, see, I don't know if Democrats would have brought up the Ford allegations if Kavanaugh were a liberal nominee. I'd like to think they would have, especially considering how quickly they turned against Al Franken and Anthony Weiner.  But I sure as shit know that if Kavanaugh did believe Roe was settled law, Republicans would have been screaming for the FBI to be involved.

Now, though, the GOP wants this shit to go away, and they are sticking with Kavanaugh because they're scared to death that a blue wave will sweep the Senate away from their filthy hands before they can get another misogynist on the bench. They will do or say whatever they can because they can fuckin' taste the end of Roe, with the shitty states gearing up to end abortion rights. And then they can tell the Christian fucknuts that all their faith and prayers paid off because they get to control women's bodies.

Which is exactly what Kavanaugh tried to do in 1982.