4/24/2017

Trump's AP Interview: Are We Still Entertained?

Since we are damned to live through this time in our history, that means that we are damned to regular interviews with President Donald Trump where we get a view of undiluted derangement that'd make Charles Manson say, "Damn, that motherfucker's scary crazy." And since I am damned to run a political blog, that means I am damned to read those interviews and react to them.

In his most recent extensive comments, Trump talked to Julie Pace of the Associated Press about his first 100 days or something. You can't really tell because Trump's ablity to talk in depth about anything is roughly equivalent to a brain damaged dalmatian's ability to fetch.

Here's a rough detailing of what I was thinking as I read the entire soul-crushing interview:

"Can't you speak in regular sentences, you fucking dumb douche? No, no, no, Angela Merkel thinks you're a goddamned baby. She's not your pal now. Lie. Lie. Lie. Oh, fuck you, the Chinese give a shit about you. You're talking about the planes still? Nothing new to mention, huh, sparky? You know, you don't have to shit on Obama every time you wanna make some stupid point. Fuck you. Fuck you. You're offering a Coke? What are you, 12? Grown-ups drink coffee, asshole. Wait, what? China didn't change shit for you. You just bitched out on confronting Xi. Fuck you. Fuck. You. No, fuck you. Oh, really, you spunk monkey, you didn't realize how big the government was? Oh, good to know that you were heartless in your business dealings. Oh, my god, I hate you. I haaaate you. Fuck how long is this? (Scroll, scroll, scroll) Son of a bitch. (Scrolls back. Big sigh.) I think I'm getting dumber reading this. Fuck, this prick is pathetic. Really, man? You're talking about the election again? It's because Melania still won't fuck you anymore, isn't it? Oh, great, we're gonna build a cheap, shitty wall. Well, at least it'll be easy to fucking dynamite once you're arrested. Fuck you. Fuuuuck you. I wouldn't let Jeff Sessions lick my scrotum. Really? You're attacking Hillary Clinton again? Goddamnit, Godzilla, you beat Mothra. Deal with it. You're a shitty human being, man. A shitty, shitty human being. I'm thirsty. I miss R.E.M. pretty much every day. Oh, c'mon, you totally watched something on Tucker Carlson or some other Fox show about MS-13. You're too fucking dumb to know anything the TV men don't tell you. 'Single best speech ever made' to Congress? Dude. You're not selling shitty steaks here. Blah. Blah. Blahhhhhh. You don't have any fuckin' plan for ISIS so shut the fuck up. The election? Again? Someone should give you a cattle prod to the nuts every time you mention the election. Jesus, I'd rather felch a porcupine than read anymore of this. No, Elijah Cummings is not your new boyfriend. Put your dick away. Wait, what? Highest ratings 'since the World Trade Center came down'? That's some evil shit right there. Boo-hoo, the media was mean to me. Maybe Ivanka will let you suckle for a while to make you feel better."

Honestly, this ain't funny anymore. The goddamn president is a woefully misinformed unrepentant liar who is obsessed with his popularity. Look at this quote about his stupid fucking wall: "People want the border wall. My base definitely wants the border wall, my base really wants it — you've been to many of the rallies. OK, the thing they want more than anything is the wall. My base, which is a big base..." Then he veered off into his election. But what is that? He's building the wall to pander to his base. That's the first reason he gives, before immigration or drugs. His idiot hordes were promised a wall and, goddamnit, he is gonna get them a wall.

Everything Trump believes he's getting jacked into his puny brain directly from Fox or Breitbart. For instance, Fox "news" is obsessed with the Latino gang MS-13, perhaps as a way of diverting attention from the fact that most domestic terrorism is commited by right-wing extremists.

And shit he doesn't know, he just makes up. No one with even a cursory knowledge of history would ever say, as Trump did, "You know, back when they did NATO there was no such thing as terrorism." He asserted, confidently and without any hedging, that there was no terrorism prior to 1949, when NATO was created. So the IRA, the Black Hand, Palestinian groups, Algerian groups, and a shit-ton of African groups don't count? Not only was there terrorism, there was terrorism over the very issues that there is terrorism now. And this is not to get into the terrorism in the United States from anarchist groups and in unionization battles. Or, you know, the KKK and other white supremacist groups. But if you point that out, Trump's people would say that, of course, he meant ISIS or al-Qaeda. Except he could have said that and he didn't. He just doesn't fucking know.

That's the not-funny part. He doesn't know. He doesn't care to know. He prefers his own world. He prefers his madness to reality, like every madman.