Regarding Phil Robertson, Homophobia, and Christianity

Regarding Phil Robertson, Homophobia, and Christianity:
The Rude Pundit wasn't going to write about Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson saying fucked-up things about gay people. But last night he tweeted a mighty tweet of snark, as one is wont to do, about how unsurprising it was that a backwoods bumpkin said homophobic things, and, lo, a bounty of bullshit was reaped. Since the load of shit is exactly how every discussion of this whole stupid thing is stupidly going, well, fuck, it's not like anything else of importance is going on.

In case you don't know, Duck Dynasty is about this family of rich hunters in northeast Louisiana (aka "Deliverance country " [the Rude Pundit's been there numerous times]) who do funny things. It's like The Beverly Hillbillies, except the Clampetts stayed in the mountains and aren't played by actors. Although, truth be told, for a "reality show," Duck Dynasty is awfully and obviously scripted. And the fuckin' show is huge, like to the tune of 14 million viewers a week.

And what did Robertson, the patriarch of this Hills Have Eyes with fart jokes clan say? In an interview with GQ, he let his fundamentalist Christian freak fly. "It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical." Shhh. Don't tell him about oral.

Late, in answer to Drew Magary's question, "What, in your mind, is sinful?" Robertson soliloquizes, "Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men.” He then takes a page from Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right."

The Rude Pundit quoted all of that because one of the things people whined about was that Robertson's words were taken out of context. There it is. There's your context. Feel better? Or do you need the rest of the article where Robertson admits that he was too blind to see racism in the pre-civil rights south or that people who haven't found Christ are the ones who attack the United States? And this motherfucker has a college degree.

Some people said there was nothing homophobic about Robertson's beliefs. To that, one can only say, "How do you breathe since you are so fucking dumb?" Putting gay relationships on the same continuum as bestiality is pretty much the definition of homophobia.

But what was most galling is something the Rude Pundit hears whenever he says that some Christian belief is hateful (and this is a quote): "Well then you must be a Christianaphobic! shouldn't Tolerance apply to Bible believers?" The Rude Pundit's said it before and he'll say it again. It doesn't matter where you got your hateful beliefs - from your parents, from your government, from your partner, from your friends, from Allah, from Jesus, from your priest, your rabbi, your imam. Hate is hate. Fuck your hate. And fuck you for excusing it by saying, "Whoa, it's not me that's hateful. It's Christianity."

And to put it another way: you choose to believe in your religion. You can choose to believe or not believe various aspects of your religion. There's a fuck of a lot of fundamentalists who don't think that having gay sex is akin to greed and slander.

Let's bottom line this for the dimwits: You have a right to hate anything you want. No one has to tolerate your hate, no matter what you say to justify it.

Well, at least we have a good idea as to which Duck Dynasty guy is a closeted gay man. One day, he shall know the pleasure of cleaning semen out of his fluffy beard.

(Quick note on the First Amendment issues: Yeah, it does suck that someone can lose their career for their speech. Where the fuck were all of you when MSNBC's Martin Bashir was excoriated for implying that someone oughta shit in Sarah Palin's mouth? Oh, right. You were trying to get him canned for his words because he insulted your idiot queen.)