End of the Year Note to the GOP: Suck On These Obamacare Success Stories:
Hey, GOP, check this shit out:
"Susan, a self-employed 56-year-old decided to talk to a healthcare navigator, then registered on healthcare.gov. When she saw the better and cheaper plans available to her; her excitement was resuscitated.
"Susan said, 'I was doing handsprings and I was thrilled because its more affordable for me and it gives me an extra $75/month that I have in my pocket vs somebody using it on their golf course.'
"Susan got out of a plan that had a huge deductible, didn’t cover doctors visits or medications. By trading up to a better policy; she brought her monthly premium down from $258 to $150.
"Susan said, 'I get my mammograms, my colonoscopies for free. Before I did not and everything now that I’m paying out of pocket will go toward my deductible.'"
"Misty Parker took a job with Recycle Revolution near Deep Ellum in Dallas. It’s a small company that doesn’t offer insurance, but because of her Obamacare subsidy, she can afford coverage. Her bill is $38 a month — a subsidized rate available to someone like her making $12 an hour. It’s a bronze plan with a $6,000 deductible. 'If I had to pay that for some reason, it’s not going to destroy me,' Parker says."
"[Sue] Spanke, a self-employed artist in her 50s, found she was eligible for a federal subsidy. Her new insurance will cover her for a mere $30 to $40 a month with a deductible of only $500. She had been paying $350 a month for a Blue Cross policy with a $5,000 deductible. 'I went from a horrible policy that didn't cover anything, that was breaking me, to the best policy at the best price I've had since I was in my 20s,' she said."
Where else would you like to go on this tour of purple-to-red states? Pennsylvania? Wisconsin?
Oh, sure, sure, Republicans, you'll be able to pull out people whose premiums went up. Those exist, for sure. But they are the minority of cases. No, really, they are, sorry. The Rude Pundit has no doubt that you'll be flogging those stories like a star of S&M porn trying out newer, sharper whips to try to get any feeling at all from his overwhipped, flaccid cock.
The battle's over, motherfuckers. You lost. Tell your soldiers that are out in the jungle believing that the war will never end that you were beaten.
The more that neighbor tells neighbor, "Hey, this Obamacare isn't coming into my house and raping my dog. It's making me tea and asking if I would like a nice muffin," the more you will just sound like petulant assholes. Read those stories again. Read about all the people covered under expanded Medicaid. And drown on your own bitter tears.
So say goodbye to 2013 and welcome to 2014. When all these people start driving their shiny new insurance, you better tell 'em you like how it looks.
(Good liberal note: Yes, it should be single-payer. It ain't. So let's take our little successes where we can.)