Why Does Conservative Spooge Bucket Kevin McCullough Hate Black People?:
Everyone needs a nemesis, someone you can have an almost absurd amount of animus towards, for no good reason other than that person is a total cock. The Rude Pundit has chosen, as one of his, Kevin McCullough, the barely-published columnist and mostly satellite radio talk show host (with the born-again Baldwin brother) of a homoerotic sojourn into the airwaves so intense that it threatens to coat the entire studio in an explosion of man goo. Mostly, he's just a total cock. Not a full human being. Not a cocksucker, for that would imply a mouth. No, just a cock.

In his latest "column" (if by "column," you mean, "abortion"), McCullough goes nigh on nutzoid over what a couple of rappers said during inauguration festivities, describing it as (and this is not a joke), "Foolishness so great that even the non-violent Dr. King would be likely to reconsider corporal punishment." What would drive Martin Luther King, who faced down white savagery without raising a fist, to ass-whoopin' rage?

Let's let McCullough describe the nightmare: "During the festivities in Washington DC this week, rappers Jay-Z and Young Jeezy took to the mic amongst a teeming DC crowd to assault all who were present with shrieks of racism, profanity, and anti-patriotic displays. These expressions were present only because Barack Obama had been elected to the office of President. Setting aside the rampant use of the 'N' word, the rappers, lacing their tirades with numerous F-bombs, hurled insults at white America with impunity." McCullough described the rappers as engaging in "animalistic, juvenile, and grossly hate-filled behavior." Oh, Mary, you're such a drama queen.

At this point, you may wonder, if you're someone who thinks, "Well, that sounds bad. What could those black fellows have said that would provoke such ire?" Well, plug your tender ears and staple your eyes. Young Jeezy said, "I know ya’ll thanking a lot of people right now. I want to thank two people. I want to thank the motherfucker overseas that threw two shoes at George Bush, and I want to thank the motherfuckers who helped them move they shit up out the White House. Get it moving bitch. My president is motherfucking black, nigga."

And Jay-Z? He rapped, "My president is black, in fact he’s half white. So even in a racist mind he’s half right. If you’ve got a racist mind it’s alright. My president is black, but his house is all white. My president is black, in fact he’s half white. So even in a racist mind he’s half right. If you’ve got a racist mind it’s alright. My president is black, but his house is all white. Never thought I’d say this shit, baby I’m good. You can keep your pussy because I don’t want no more Bush. No more war. No more Iraq. No more white lies, my president is black."

For McCullough (and Michelle Malkin and Bill O'Reilly and virtually every conservative wad of fuck able to sputter out fake rage), this outrage falls directly on Obama's lap: "In his silence, as it pertains to his invited guests who made public displays and attributions to his election, he has allowed the advancement of ideas that are more racist and unjust than many of the expressions of segregation that were pervasive in his childhood."

In other words, because a couple of black rap artists used the occasion to, well, rap, Barack Obama needs to apologize to the nation. Because the black dudes upset some (mostly white) people. Damn. They really have so little to grasp onto at this point, don't they?

McCullough's wallowing in anger belies, of course, his deep desire to be the meat in a Jay-Z/Young Jeezy sandwich. So much of what McCullough writes is just the unrequited moan of sexual denial, the need to be fucked by smack-talkin' black guys while Obama looks on, approvingly, and fondles himself. God, what night time fantasies, how this election has provided McCullough with new chapters for his masturbatory journeys, committed, of course, in the closet of his own making.