Random Thoughts on a Murder and the Motherfuckers Who Are Responsible

1. The murder of Minneapolis resident Renee Nicole Good by ICE agent Jonathan Ross should be one of those pivot points in our history, much like the murder of George Floyd less than a mile away in 2020. Like with Floyd, we shouldn't even be talking about whether or not the murder was "justified." While I get that law enforcement is rarely punished because we're just fucking perverse cop worshippers as a whole in the country, any rational view of the videos of the incident show, clearly, that Ross wasn't in danger, wasn't being threatened, and wasn't hit by Good's SUV while trying to leave the street where she and her wife, Rebecca Good, were observing and recording ICE doing its brutal and illegal work in the streets of their neighborhood. Hell, Renee Good peacefully told a raging Ross, "That's fine, dude. I'm not mad at you" just before the ICE cuntmites escalated the whole thing and Ross, ignoring every training that cops get, briefly walked near the front of the vehicle before moving to the driver's side window as Good started to drive away and shooting Good point blank at her face three times.

2. Let's put a couple of things into perspective here. First off, it's pretty fucked that Ross put the entire community and other officers in danger with his hair trigger finger. He shot wildly, with one hand on his gun and one hand still on his phone, and he not only could have killed Rebecca Good, but he could have easily offed another ICE agent. And the other thing is that you don't fucking shoot someone driving a vehicle unless you have no other choice because a dead person behind the wheel can't fucking control the car, and the SUV went out of control and slammed into another car, but, Jesus, it could have jumped the curb and hit pedestrians. That shit gets to me: the reckless disregard for anyone in his actions. Ross is a violent prick who was upset that a "fucking bitch," as he called Good after the murder, talked back to him, wasn't afraid of him. His masculine privilege and power, artificially-enhanced by that ICE vest, were being questioned by a woman, and he was not gonna take it. 

3. And then there's Renee Good's justifiable fears in that moment. ICE and the Border Patrol are a bunch of fucking animals, using obviously excessive force to grab and disappear both immigrants and citizens. For Good, it had to go through her mind that if she exited the vehicle, the little-dicked demi-men surrounding her might slam her to the ground, beat her, haul her into the back of one of their SUVs, and take her to a detention center for days or weeks. Frankly, it's stunning that she was as calm as she was as she was leaving, trying to get out of Ross's way as he placed himself in front of the vehicle, filming her with one hand and reaching for his gun with the other (against any fucking training this long-time law enforcement goon had undergone). She didn't panic. She just tried to leave. 

4. The reaction by DHS, Trump, Vance, and the entire Tump cumgobbling right-wing media universe has been to demonstrate what abject savages these pigfuckers are. It would have been so easy for Kristi Noem or someone in the administration to say, "We're unsure what happened and we'll investigate." But that's not how the pigfuckers work. The pigfuckers circle their wagons around the ICE animals and the cumgobblers get busy not just defending the animals, but asserting that anyone who dares to accuse Ross of murder and ICE of being a bunch of dullard Nazis who just want to beat up some brown people and liberals without them being able to fight back are actually terrorists. The pigfuckers keep saying, in essence, that Good was asking for it, that she deserved to be killed, and that if anyone attempts to get in the way of ICE agents breaking the law repeatedly, they deserve to be killed, too.

From the sty in the White House, with Noem and Vance and Trump. to the giant shit pit on cable news and podcasts, with Jesse Watters and Megyn Kelly and the whole bunch of them, you can see them all fucking the pigs in the mud, high-fiving that they've demonized an innocent woman as a monster to the mongrel hordes who can't think for themselves. Meanwhile, on Twitter and Truth Social, anonymous incel dolts jack off to all the memes they've made of Good's corpse, put in a bikini or less by Elon Musk's rape machine, Grok. Repellent motherfuckers, all. 

(And if this is getting incoherent, that I’m mixing up my pigfuckers and my cumgobblers, it’s because writing about this nightmare makes my rage flame roar like it could burn empires to the ground.)

5. Minneapolis is resisting and ICE and the Trump administration don't know what to do. They were expecting everyone to fold. But, if anything, this is starting to look like some kind of tipping point, like a line was crossed here that is moving even those who supported this administration and supported this bullshit immigration crackdown. It's moving those who have only a glancing interest in politics. ICE is going door-to-door in Minneapolis, literally just breaking down doors and looking for anyone they can drag in. DHS is having its largest ever force go in there to punish the city for daring to fight back, for daring to not just knuckle under. 

But here's the thing: if you lie all the time, then you won't be believed. You gotta mix some truth in with the lies. But this administration and their media lie all the fucking time. So you're better off thinking they're full of shit. Chances are you're right. And with the Good murder, we all fucking saw it. We're all witnesses. We saw Ross call her a "fucking bitch" on his own video. We saw him leave the scene of the crime. We've seen his ICE criminal buddies empty his apartment of anything that might be evidence that he wanted to shoot some commies. We saw the shooting and we saw them try to tell us that we weren't seeing what we were clearly seeing. 

This might be the start of something. I feel like we're in a race between those who want to bring this madness to an end and the mad leaders who want to bring us all to heel as they completely gut the rule of law in this country. They want us to be afraid. They are going to do more and more to scare us. It's going to get harder and harder not to let the fear overwhelm us. 

We didn't ask to live in this moment. We didn't ask to be called to action. Yet here we are. But we have to figure out the best way to fight and soon. Or the pigfuckers win.

Zohran Mamdani's Radical Refocus of the Left Is What We've Needed

If you need a boost to start this new year right, even as we fall further into the Trump-fucked abyss, I encourage you to watch the entire inauguration ceremony for New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani. It was lefty bliss, a balm for the battered soul and a jolt to the heart yearning for action. From people abused by the immigration system giving the oath to Public Advocate Jumaane Williams to Williams's emotional speech, from Gen Z fave Lucy Dacus singing the old labor movement song "Bread and Roses" to Bernie Sanders's rousing introduction for Mamdani. Serious liberalpalooza vibes all around, like some kind of fever dream of democracy actually coming through for once. 

Most importantly, in his inauguration address, Mamdani didn't just reaffirm his progressive agenda, saying that "I have been told that this is the occasion to reset expectations, that I should use this opportunity to encourage the people of New York to ask for little and expect even less. I will do no such thing. The only expectation I seek to reset is that of small expectations." Yes, that was terrific, as was his restating of the goals of his campaign, making clear that he was going to push for big ideas and big efforts. He also demonstrated an understanding of the broad array of identities that he will be leading, talking about individuals as threads in a larger tapestry.

But what got me practically cheering on my couch was when Mamdani went directly at a couple of the shibboleths of contemporary politics, the kind of bullshit that Republicans have been slinging since at least the FDR era, ideas that have become so ingrained in American rhetoric that Democrats often find themselves saying much the same or having to react to them. Mamdani's approach was to take back a version of progressivism that hearkens to the early 20th century and through the time of the New Deal: a sense that we're all in this together and we better fucking act like we are and the clearest expression of that is the government that we elect and demand action from.

He said, "Beginning today, we will govern expansively and audaciously. We may not always succeed. But never will we be accused of lacking the courage to try. To those who insist that the era of big government is over, hear me when I say this: No longer will City Hall hesitate to use its power to improve New Yorkers’ lives." And if you immediately think about Ronald Reagan when you read that line on big government, Mamdani is actually quoting Bill Clinton's 1996 inaugural address when he took the Democratic Party into Republican-lite territory. Clinton said it like it was a fact coming out of the Reagan/Bush years, and he leaned into it instead of cursing it or vowing to change it. Mamdani is throwing it back into the cesspool of shitty ideas with a call to move government back to its rightful place as democratic expression of what the broad populace needs and desires, not merely a tool used too often for oppression and neglect while favoring the wealthy few who know how to manipulate its complex machinery and its facile leaders.

Then, in something that has pissed off all the right people, Mamdani went right at the foundation of conservative ideology when he said, "We will replace the frigidity of rugged individualism with the warmth of collectivism. If our campaign demonstrated that the people of New York yearn for solidarity, then let this government foster it." Now that's some socialism that walks the motherfucking walk right there. 

The great lie of America is that the only way to succeed is by placing the individual self above all else, looking out for #1 and all that bullshit. It's been the cement shoes on the workers' rights movements since the 1980s, when we moved from the collectivist dreams of the 1960s and 70s to the "Greed is good" era of amped-up capitalism. We thought we'd shift back during the Obama years, but that was beaten to death by the greedy fucks in the GOP and their complicit media. What was the Tea Party movement but a conglomeration of avarice and ignorance masked as freedom from the government? "The American dream" has long been a sucker's bet, a way to make one's own advancement the only the thing that matters, not the idea of living in a country, a state, or a city, even, where everyone's needs are the business of everyone else and that helping the least makes life better for all people. Mamdani did indeed campaign on how New York City is almost uniquely positioned to demonstrate how this can actually work.

It's extra important for young people especially to hear that. They have been inundated with the venality and treachery of the Trump administration, where government doesn't give a shit about you and fuck you if you think it should. I'd implore them (and everyone) to learn the goddamn difference between democratic socialism and communism because the motherfuckers are coming after Mamdani hard, invoking Soviet gulags and Chinese oppression. Mamdani isn't a communist. He doesn't believe that all people should be equal in property and wealth. He doesn't believe in the government owning all housing and controlling all industries so that it gives out homes and jobs. Thinking that the ultra-rich should pay higher taxes so that poor people can ride the buses for free does not equal enforced food rationing and the imprisonment of dissidents. In fact, those who keep bringing up that shit should be treated like the fucking morons or despicable liars that they are.

And it's also important that the Democratic Party watches how this all goes down and learns. Take this radical refocus, this return what used to motivate the left and the center-left and, hell, even the center politically, and use it. It's time to put Clintonism on a raft and set it on fire. It's time to assert that government can be a force for good. It's time to promise to do things on a national level that Mamdani is already doing, like shitcanning everything the corrupt and compromised former mayor, Eric Adams, did after he was indicted. Promise to reverse everything Trump has done and raze his golden ballroom. Talk about immigrants like they are welcome additions to the country, not invaders or criminals. Jesus, this shouldn't be hard.

I don't know how this will go or what Mamdani will be able to accomplish. But, goddamn, it's a good start. And as we reach new levels of fucked as a desperate Trump tries to cram in every terrible thing he wants to do before the midterms change the equation, I'll take whatever glimmers of light I can. 

Haiku Review of 2025: House of Haiku

Last round here. Thanks for all the haiku from far and wide, from across seas and across borders. If yours didn't get picked, it was because I'm fickle and churlish and other fancy words, but there were too damn many good ones. I read 'em all, and even if they didn't make the big board, they were a delight to soak in.

From Barb E.:

The school day ending

ICE vans near the pick up lane

To kidnap some moms

From Kevin in North Minneapolis: 

Water Show

Little fishing boat,

See it heading out to sea.

Watch death fall on it.

From Chris in London (formerly in Hong Kong):

Yeah, It Got That Bad

Farewell to Hong Kong

Fubared by its own elite 

Pander to China

From Marcia in Massachusetts:

In every state

Citizens are rejecting

This regime of hate 

From Tom M.:

Not Yet

I wake up daily

Read the obituaries

Champagne is ready

From Jack T. in Redneckville, IL: 

The Vance Kiss of Death

Who could blame the pope

For dying after meeting

Our couch-fucking veep

And a final pair from me:

The Real Threat

Trans women don't want

To rape you in the bathroom.

However, Trump would.

Dead Dick

"But I hated Trump,"

Cheney says as demons fuck

His face with barbed cocks.

Adios, 2025. You can go fuck yourself sideways and upside down. Let's hope the next year brings the beginning of the end of all this fuckery (waves at the world in general).

Haiku Review of 2025: No Other Haiku

And still the haiku poured in, covering every topic under the Trump-eclipsed sun. Let's start today with a personal one from a long-time rudester. 

From Tom in Roanoke:

2025 was a tough year

Cancer is scary

Even when you can beat it

You can still have doubts

From Jo in Altadena, California:

Eaton Fire, January 7th

Altadena burned.

Hydrants dry; firefighters fled.

Nineteen died in flames.

From even more depressed than last year:

home depot arrests

secret police run rampant

disappearing act

From Dick "Just call me 'Dick'" Fritter from hell in the Midwest:

Shit Palace

America now

Shit Palace tacky White House

Shit rains on our heads

From Scohogo in Ohio's Fairyfieldlands:

Maga gonna Maga

Poor little racists

But thanks to Kirk, DEI

Is the new N-word

From Albatross:

Why Premiums Rise

GOP Healthcare

Was formerly "Die quickly"

Now they add "asshole."

From Doug in Sugar Pine:

Portland, sure, but also just down the road

Plastic frogs are more

Heritage Americans

Than Miller or Vance

And my contribution to the day:

Kilmar

They made him suffer

To hide their crimes and failure

And because they could

The Cabinet of Contempt

They have only one

Facial expression: The sneer

To show they hate us.

Okay, one more day of this and then we're done with this cockflea of a year. Send 'em on: rudepundit@yahoo.com. And don't forget the form: a line of 5 syllables, a line of 7 syllables, and a line of 5 syllables. Title it if you want. Let's keep it going until we dance on the ashes of 2025.

Haiku Review of 2025: Wake Up Haiku Man

Already, the email has been reamed out by the tide of haiku pouring in. Apparently, a year of oppression and rage and occasional joy has unleashed the poet in a bunch of you. Keep 'em coming. I can go for days on haiku alone. Here are some of my favorites so far:

From Rabbitearz in L.A.:

BUTT-UGLY

Mar-a-Lago face!

The Masque of the Red Death Squad

Has Styrofoam Cheeks.

From VJ in NJ:

Kennedy's Remains

A worm ate his brain.

Drugs fried his voice. Privilege 

his only vaccine.

From Sarah in Seattle:

Our Savior

Impeachments! Mueller!

Jack Smith!   He's still here.  Bring on

the damn Grim Reaper.

From Q from Hell, USA: 

The Files

Girls who want to speak

Have tales of horror and pain

Their truth is silenced.

From TMangrove in Wisconsin:

The top one percent

Are stealing your future, not

Ana and Jose.

And two with a similar sentiment:

From Bernie in Brooklyn:

Is he dead yet?

I hate waking up

Each and every a.m.

And that’s my first thought

From Leanne, waiting impatiently, in Chicago:

The biggest fucking block party ever

Not yet, Goddamnit

But we will all know the when 

And how we will dance

Let's finish with a couple more from yours truly:

An Immigrant Doctor Realizing He's Been Asked to Save Stephen Miller's Life

Would Hippocrates

Really be all that upset if 

"Oops" just this one time?

One Moment of Transcendance at Sinners

The blues connecting

To music across time was

Pure cinema bliss.

Slap me in the face with more haiku. You know what to do: Send 'em to rudepundit@yahoo.com. And if yours isn't in here, hang in there - I'm reading each and every one. But, like joints and whiskey, I can never have too much. 

Haiku Review of 2025: One Haiku After Another

What a motherfucker of a year this was. I mean, seriously, it's like this year took all the mothers, lined them up, and fucked them one after the other, tossing a fucked mother aside as it moved on to fuck the next one. Just nothing but day after day of brutality and hatred and ignorance and more hatred and violence and more hatred and egomania and more hatred and you get the idea. You were there. The only thing we've got is that we went through it all together. And, like we do every year in this rude joint, we memorialize the fuckery with the simple yet poignant and/or pointed poetic form of the haiku. 

And now you can submit yours. 

The deal is the same as it ever was. I'm a stickler for the form: three lines of 5 syllables, then 7, then 5 again. But the subject is wide open. Be serious, be stupid, be your incredible or fucked up you. Email them to rudepundit@yahoo.com. Whichever ones make me laugh or make me cry or get me all hot and throbbing or some combination of two or three of those will be published on the blog. I'm the only judge here, and I'm probably high right now, so no insult if you don't get in. 

Give it a title. And include some name and place, like "Teresa from Measlestown, AR" or  or "Suck My Immigrant Balls from NY" or "Markie in Austin" (adios, English Teacher, the funniest show no one watched). 

Lemme show you how it's done:

Except to Erika's Bank Account

Charlie Kirk poisoned

The hearts of young people and

His death meant nothing

You Can't Tell ICE from the Regular Criminals

One day, someone will

Kill a masked man trying to

Kidnap their mother.

Interview with a Worm

Lemme warn you all:

RFK's skull is empty

And I starved to death

Ode to Trump Voters

You fuckers did this.

You earned the pain you'll suffer

Before we save you.

And away we go. Flood my inbox with the effulgence of your creative minds.

The Rude Pundit's Annual Nativity-palooza, Now with Bonus "Artisan" Fun

Like movies about suicidal snowmen and tortured ghosts and pole-frozen tongues, some things are a tradition around the rude house. Beloved reruns are good for the soul. My favorites to trot out this week are the Invader Zim Christmas episode and Olive the Other Reindeer. Heck, I just saw Wish for Wings That Work is on YouTube, so I'm gonna put that into rotation. Even here, in Left Blogsylvania, we can indulge in revisiting old posts.

Before Threads, Instagram, Reddit, TikTok, Facebook, and many other places you can get your fix of weird shit, I posted this Christmas blast back in 2004, updated yearly with new bits of freakishness (some links might not work anymore, but they were or are all real and unironic):

Xmas - And, lo, a small teddy bear will lead them:
In the days before Christmas, the Rude Pundit roamed his neighborhood, looking at the displays in the charming stores and corner markets. There he saw the agony of so many dichotomous feelings about this holiday. One window had a kneeling, praying Santa next to a baby Jesus in the manger. Santa's hat was off. He was balding. Another display had the jolly old fat man landing his sleigh and reindeer on the roof of the manger. Surprisingly, neither Mary nor Joseph seemed rattled by the noise, although a camel was looking upward, as if asking, "What the fuck?" The Rude Pundit loved that camel.

Ah, sweet camel, what the fuck, indeed. Christ and commerce, Alleluia. The Savior has been born and he thanks you for your presents. Santa showing that he'll even honor the king of the Jews in the land of Islam. There's no telling what it means (and don't get all up in the Rude Pundit's face about St. Nicholas). Except this: we want to embrace both things, good deconstructionists that we are: Santa, who soothes our greed, and Jesus, who promises us peace. Either way, we want them both to tell us we're good people, nice people. And, of course, guilt-ridden Christians want to make sure that Santa toes the party line, you know.

For the holiday, here's a few of my favorite nativity sets, none of which are intended to be mocking of the event:

That right there is the Veggie Tales Nativity. In case you don't know, Veggie Tales are cute vegetables who love Christ and salad tossing. The newborn savior up there is a carrot. Get it? A baby carrot? What a delight.


Holy shit, that bear nativity is one of the creepiest fucking things I've ever seen. Staring straight ahead with their dead eyes, it looks like a satanic cult sacrifice to some horrible bear-demon. Although, the three wise bears have provided snacks for the blood rite: salmon, honey, and berries. All go well with cub entrails.

Every year, I think, "I wonder if there's an even weirder nativity set that I can find" and every year I come across something where I think, "Yeah, that's friggin' crazy shit, man." Here, it's the snow people nativity, with a snow angel, a snow Joseph, a snow Mary, and horrible, smiling snow kings. Did Snow Mary give birth to Snow Baby Jesus? Or did they all just make Snow Baby Jesus out of snow? And the temperature in Bethlehem this time of year is in the 60s. Is that why they seem to be festooned with turds, to try to hold their globular shape a little longer?

That goddamn nightmare fuel isn't a lab experiment gone horrible awry. It's a bunch of white mice with eyes so wide they look like someone laced some cheese with meth and let the little bastards go crazy. It's gonna be horrible when baby Jesus mouse gets crucified in trap.

This is not to mention the Chickentivity, the Moosetivity, the Barntivity, the Native American Nativity, and the various Beartivities, all available unironically for your Christmas consumption.

And then there's the baby nativity:

You might think, "Oh, that's adorable. What's so wrong with it?" To which I can only inform you that the implication of it is that a baby Mary shoved a baby Jesus out of her baby vagina.

Speaking of implications, think of what this dog one means:  

This means there is a dog Pilate who will sentence dog Jesus to dog crucifixion. It means that there is a dog Mary Magdalene who is a dog prostitute. This is not to mention the dog centurions who routinely torture and kill dogs, the dog slaves who serve their dog masters, and the Jewish dogs who get blamed for everything. But don't worry. Dog Jesus will rise from the dead in three days. Have some damn kibble waiting for him. 

And to all a good night.

Oh, wait. What's that you say? You think that last one was kind of a weak one to end on? Well, then, fuck you. Here's the Day of the Dead nativity:

Yeah, you might think they're singing Christmas carols, but they're all screaming in horror and pain. Essentially, that's Christmas in the time of MAGA and RFK, Jr.

Oh, wait. What's that? Those aren't that bad after all we've suffered? Then how about some bullshit oyster shell "art":

Look, I get the whole "now that I've retired, my world is making shit out of trash that I can sell on Etsy" ethos, but that looks like a family of viruses waiting to infect you, which, I guess, is how Christianity spread. 

All of those are preferable to this fucking thing here. This might be one of the first of these nativities to make me feel visceral anger. Check this shit out:

Look, I'm not gonna tell you how to celebrate your belief in the filthy barn birth of the rape baby of an invisible sky wizard. All I'm gonna say is that if I were the rape baby of an invisible sky wizard, I'd be pissed if people everywhere put this up to celebrate my birth from my mom who was raped by my invisible sky wizard dad after an asshole angel told my mom that she had no choice but to give birth to the invisible sky wizard's rape baby.

Glass blobs not your thing? Want something that's a bit more like someone was fucking around with some straw wrappers and decided to make it Christmasy? Check out the rolled paper nativity:

It's recycled paper to promote "faith and sustainability." They very much want you to know that it's goddamned recycled paper. No fresh paper for them. And you can tell me this is some kind of special art form that poor people do in whatever poor country you just heard about, but that doesn't change the fact that it sucks. It sucks as art, it sucks as a decoration, it sucks ass. Speaking of, where are the animals? No rolling paper camel? Or donkey? Just blonde, curly-haired Mary, a lump of garbage for Jesus, and armed kings, with a Joseph that looks like it would rather be burned in a dump.

Not enough like the nativity you might see on the mantle of the leader of a forest cult dedicated to cannibalism and blood drinking? How about this folk horror: 

It's like the last thing you see before the cellar door closes and you wait to find out if you're meant to be sacrificed to the corn god or impregnated by the cock of the spirit of the wheat in a fertility rite. Puritans would look at these Puritan-looking motherfuckers and decided, "Nope. There's no god. Let's just jump in the ocean."

Finally (for real), here's one I actually like. It's the Recycled Auto Parts Nativity: 

C'mon. It's got everything. Skeletal camels, edges that would slice open a loaf of bread and some fishes, and baby Jesus sleeping on a bed of chicken wire. That's awesome art by Armando Ramirez, and I'd proudly put that up in my home next to my Peanuts creche and dare some internet asshole to talk shit about it. 

Merry Christmas, baby. Let's just get out of this year alive. May George Bailey finally get to push Mr. Potter into the frozen river.

(Note: Previous editions of the nativity post have included the Zombitivity, Dogtivity, the Boyd's Bears Nativity, and the Rubber Duck...oh, fuck, you get the idea.)