Nail the New Calendars to the Walls:
On the way between one damn new year's party and another, half a bottle of whiskey down, stinking of the smoke and sweat of himself and others, buzzing with the first E bomb of the evening, the Rude Pundit was stopped by a reporter gal and camera guy who were asking revelers about their New Year's Resolutions. The Rude Pundit does not make resolutions for, indeed, pledges in this inhuman time are hard to keep, so he wasn't gonna say, "I'll drink less" or "I'll let the hobos live after I've had my way with them."

Instead, he looked into the camera and said, "I resolve to hold President Obama to his promises so we can get over the last eight years."

He did not make the cut for the late news. And his friends said, "What the fuck is wrong with you? Just say you don't do resolutions." But some promises need to be made, if only to clear your head in the first new morning of the new year.